Okay...I'm trying to do a little better with feedback. I look at lots of stuff, but run out of time and don't get any feedback written.
Anyway, here I go.
You have some interesting and engaging phrases in your song. That's good. Like "apple in my mouth", "I commit to jealousy". That's the two I like best.
I like that you labeled your sections. I find that very helpful. Which brings me to your "hook". I usually look for the song title to be the hook, but you have the title "Ragdoll" which I didn't notice anywhere in the song at all. Not exactly forbidden, but I think you should have a good reason for it.
Your hook occurs three times and every time is different, so obviously the hook has nothing to do with the lyrics and is melodic only--am I right? I think it's risky to do that, as it's harder to make the hook (in my opinion, anyway) as memorable if the words change every time you use it.
Your lyric, in my opinion, gets your point across clearly; I don't have to guess what it's about or have you explain it to me. I like that--I'm not a fan of obscure lyrics, usually.
Suggestion: 2nd hook, line: "and you look the other way...", I suggest considering alternatives to the word "and". Maybe "While" or "As". Of course, you might have a reason for using "and" that would be lost if you change it, in which case, ignore me.
That's all I have.
Vicki
