[hardtwistmusic]

The Crimean War was fought for no reason more important than that the aristocrats in charge in England felt that their military's would get "soft" and "out of shape" if they weren't kept in tip top fighting condition by periodic wars.  

A speech in Parliament compared the necessity of sending troops to fight and die in Russia with the necessity of schools playing one another in sporting contests to build character.  

And besides. . . it would be an "easy little war" with plenty of glory and promotions for the (mostly aristocratic) officer corps of the English army.  

The charge of the light brigade is remembered today for two reasons.  Such terrible, costly blunders happened routinely in wars at the time, but since the army was responsible for writing the news bulletins to send back to the newspapers at home, they were never reported.  

In the Crimean war, two new innovations changed the face of warfare forever.  

1.  Florence Nightingale's nurses were (for the first time) right on the battlefield to save lives, and the unintended consequence was that there were civilian witnesses not subject to orders to keep silent.  

2.  Several newspapers sent reporters to see what was actually happening instead of just relying on the English army to write the reports that went into the newspapers.  

All this meant that the (fairly commonplace) needless expenditures of lives would be public knowledge.  It kind of took all the fun out of the wars for the army when there was accountability when things went wrong.  

For the first time, there was a mindless blunder that needlessly cost lives. . . AND that wasn't able to be covered up.  The brilliant solution for the aristocracy was to have Lord Tennyson (Alfred Lord Tennyson) write the famous poem that made heroes of the poor, hapless victims of the charge.  Still, things would never be the same.  

I wrote this over six years ago, and have been trying to get it pared down and usable ever since.  

Any input into how close I am to having it short enough and understandable will be greatly appreciated.


600 Son’s of England (Regarding “The Charge of the Light Brigade”)

In a world where everyone is blind, One eyed men are kings.  
The politics of hate and fear are many splendored things.  
Truth cannot forever remain a casualty of war.  
But 600 sons of England will lose all they’re fighting for.  
Theirs is not to question why.  They’re not allowed to wonder.
Theirs is just to do and die and face the cannons thunder.      
                                                                                                                                          
In a catastrophic blunder, 240 lives are gone.   –-   Just  gone.  
Sold for honor King and country, traded for a song.      A song.
Half a league of cannon fire. . . half a league of Hell.  
It’s a story that the victims never get a chance to tell.  
Betrayed by all that they believed, and all for which they fought.  
600 son’s of England are just sacrificed for naught.    
      
In a war that’s fought for practice, and referred to as a game.
The Generals, King and Parliament should all hang their heads in shame.  
They deny responsibility, they do not accept the blame.  
But the world has changed in many ways. . . it’ll never be the same  
An uncaring aristocracy, that is rotten at it’s core.  
For the first time fails to make the truth a casualty of war.

In a catastrophic blunder, 240 lives are gone.   –-   Just  gone.  
Sold for honor King and country, traded for a song.      A song.
Half a league of cannon fire. . . half a league of Hell.  
It’s a story that the victims never get a chance to tell.  
Betrayed by all that they believed, and all for which they fought.  
600 son’s of England are just sacrificed for naught.    

Incapable of confession, and sincere apology,
they always have an answer in the aristocracy.
600 sons are victimized.   240 of them died.
Victims of incompetence, but that story is denied.                                                              
Above all else, confuse the facts. . .  Tennyson makes it right.
Turns victims into heroes.  He hides them in plain sight.  

In a catastrophic blunder, 240 lives are gone.   –-   Just  gone.  
Sold for honor King and country, traded for a song.      A song.
Half a league of cannon fire. . . half a league of Hell.  
It’s a story that the victims never get a chance to tell.  
Betrayed by all that they believed, and all for which they fought.  
600 son’s of England are just sacrificed for naught.    

Bridge to out:  
War must have a crystal purpose we all can comprehend.  
Nevermore so eagerly should leaders heedless send.
Naive young men to die and kill and into Hell descend.  
If you would kill for honor, you’ve no honor to defend.

[CaliaMoko]

Well, the only suggestions I can come up with have to do with grammar, punctuation, and usage (eg, the word "but" maybe occurs too many times and could occasionally be replaced with "and" or maybe something else).

For me it tells the story, and I don't know what could or should be condensed. If anything.

[hardtwistmusic]

Thank you.  I was too close to this to see all those "buts."  You helped me to see them.  I got rid of all but one that I found necessary. 

I suspect this one is too preachy and "documentary" in it's tone.  Probably should just remain a poem. . . unless I find music for it I really love. . . then all bets are off.

[CaliaMoko]

You're welcome. I've been reading it over a few times and actually think it might be cool to set it to a march-style melody, like, along the lines of Johnny Horton's "Battle of New Orleans". But different, of course.

I can almost hear it in my head--a single voice chanting out the verses to a martial-style rhythm and then a male ensemble booming out the chorus.

Oh, I noticed another word thing (and maybe it's the way you want it on purpose, but it stood out to me) in these two lines:
Above all else, confuse the facts. . .  Tennyson makes it right.
He makes heroes of the victims.  He hides them in plain sight. 

The two uses of "makes". What do you think of changing one of them--for instance, "Tennyson sets it right"? Or "He paints heroes of the victims"? Or something.... Or not, if you prefer what you have. Just thinking. Ooo, did I use the word "or" too often???   

Vicki

[diademgrove]

The Crimean War was fought to protect the interests of the British Empire against the emerging strength of Russia. The Russian war with Turkey threatened the British trade routes to India, the jewel in the crown of the Empire.

Sorry for the history lesson.

The problem for me is it doesn't grab my interest and keep it. There are no characters in it to identify with. It would, in my opinion, work better with a narrator, perhaps one of the journalists or someone who avoided the charge and survived. The journalist/survivor can then point the finger of blame for the deaths of the 600 sons of Britain (not sure if they were all English).

Love the hides them in plain sight line.

If you disagree please ignore me. Given Tennyson's poem its a difficult subject to take up, you're a braver man than me.

Keith

[Oldbutyet]

What Keith said could be the reason why you're holding back on this, i know you like to be on fact if that makes any sense, but im thinking what Vicki has said could be a way to go with this.

I like everything in the way you describe your lyrics, so far theirs four if Keith is willing to go with this, could take a few weeks but lets make something of this.

We're going to need a few musicians and singers by the way 

[hardtwistmusic]

The Crimean War was fought to protect the interests of the British Empire against the emerging strength of Russia. The Crimean War was fought to protect the interests of the British Empire against the emerging strength of Russia.
Sorry for the history lesson.

The problem for me is it doesn't grab my interest and keep it. There are no characters in it to identify with. It would, in my opinion, work better with a narrator, perhaps one of the journalists or someone who avoided the charge and survived. The journalist/survivor can then point the finger of blame for the deaths of the 600 sons of Britain (not sure if they were all English).

Love the hides them in plain sight line.

If you disagree please ignore me. Given Tennyson's poem its a difficult subject to take up, you're a braver man than me.

Keith

History is always ambiguous.  And there are always differing interpretations of it.  

You wrote:     "The Crimean War was fought to protect the interests of the British Empire against the emerging strength of Russia."

My take on that:   THAT is what my sources say was the true (and sole) reason for the war.   And if it WAS the "sole reason" then it isn't really reason enough to make young men die over.  My sources say that showing Russia who was boss (i.e. putting an end to Russia's perceived "emerging strength") actually was the sole reason.  

As far as "threatening the trade routes to India," my sources say that was an excuse, not a reason.  Like the recent Gulf War in Iraq, there are "reasons" that are used to sell a war to the populace, and there are the real reasons.  If (as was the case in Iraq) the "selling points" (i.e. the existence of a threat of WMD's in Iraq, and the "Threat to the trade routes" in the case of the Crimean War) are actually just excuses, and not really the reason for the war, then my point is valid.  

If the "official version" in the case of the Crimean war is valid, then my point is not valid.  We won't ever know.  I tend to assign very little credibility to "official versions" both in the modern world and in history.  

Because history IS always ambigous, we will never know for certain.  My interpretation of history in this case might be wrong. . . but it is not without basis, and it is not without scholarly support.  

I'm not arguing for the "rightness" of my beliefs.  Just pointing out that there is always another possibility when history is involved.  

[hardtwistmusic]

You're welcome. I've been reading it over a few times and actually think it might be cool to set it to a march-style melody, like, along the lines of Johnny Horton's "Battle of New Orleans". But different, of course.

I can almost hear it in my head--a single voice chanting out the verses to a martial-style rhythm and then a male ensemble booming out the chorus.

Oh, I noticed another word thing (and maybe it's the way you want it on purpose, but it stood out to me) in these two lines:
Above all else, confuse the facts. . .  Tennyson makes it right.
He makes heroes of the victims.  He hides them in plain sight.  

The two uses of "makes". What do you think of changing one of them--for instance, "Tennyson sets it right"? Or "He paints heroes of the victims"? Or something.... Or not, if you prefer what you have. Just thinking. Ooo, did I use the word "or" too often???  

Vicki

Fascinating:  This lyric sings perfectly with the musical accompaniment for the Johnny Horton song "Sink the Bismark".  At least it does for the first four lines of each verse.  I didn't write it to do that, but when I saw your idea, it came to me that it was so. 

Even more fascinating is that (if you listen closely) it also will sing to the "Battle of New Orleans" for the same first four lines.   Become more fascinating still is that the "Battle of New Orleans" and the theme from the "Beverly Hillbillys" are interchangeable for those same lines. 

AND....  A close listen makes it clear that "Sing the Bismark" is derivative of the "Battle of New Orleans." 

All of which I'd never have noticed without your post.  None of it is important, but it is interesting. 

And. . . it really gives a direction for this to go.  Thank you.  If anyone would like to help this song go this direction musically, I'm open to help.   

[CaliaMoko]

I am interested in taking part in a collaboration on the melody and rhythm. I like the idea of bouncing melody ideas back and forth.

[diademgrove]

That's the beauty of history Verlon.

Given the arrogance of the generals and politicians and the mistakes they made I don't think my interpretation affects the sentiments of your words.

Good luck with the collaboration.

Keith

[hardtwistmusic]

I am interested in taking part in a collaboration on the melody and rhythm. I like the idea of bouncing melody ideas back and forth.

In the next few days, I'll try to get you an mp3 of A Capela vocals of how I would sing this (what I had in mind when I wrote it.)  

I've already recorded it and it's just a matter of sending it to you in the morning.  Don't feel shy about changing the vocal melody and/or abandoning it.  I have a different (maybe better) use for that melody.