[blazas]

Hello everybody

Im amateur songwriter and I just finish a song about syrian civil war.

I have written the lyrics and the music of this song

Im in vocals and I have played the guitars.

On flute is my little son Lefteris (11 years old)

           syrian civil war

The night is cold the wind is blowing
I closed my eyes    blood keeps on  flowing
hold my hand this boat is our freedom or our grave but you cant go back until the end we have to try


Isis took my wife and my little son
 before   the   dawn    they killed them one by one
if you see a rose tree down there in Manjib  just gentlly talk to it to see it in bloom and then cut its red red roses

is there enybody there to look behind the curtains
is there anybocdy who can hear the knell of a requiem bell
 have you ever seen white lights  flashing in your head
 is there anybody there to join me to hell

 the sea is dark while Serines  singing
 our inner light is slowly blinking
 this stormy sea is not a grave is a gate to be released is the exit of the tears
so hold my hand as this boat is  sinking

get a glimpse on the other side tell me what you see
do you remember that old song
is anybody that you can see on the other side
you left the dark don't cry anymore

[Movin Flavour]

Nice song...good sentiments expressed here.

Excellent guitars ...and flute.


Thanks for posting the lyrics on the video.


The lyrics are good, I just feel you are trying to fit them into the structure of the song too much.

Sandeep

[man of simple pleasures]

i like it, electric guitar is cool , nice flute makes it haunting when that plays away!

[blazas]

Thank you very much for the feedback!!!

[Viva La Stereo]

Oh wow, that's one atmospheric track. That flute just completes the whole thing, icing on the cake. Really well crafted musically - topical and interesting lyrics. I also love the melody to the whole thing. A catchy delivery system for the sad lyrics.

Thanks for sharing!

[MartynRich]

This is quite a moving song...very heartfelt and atmospheric. The production on the music is superb and I love the flute mixing with the guitars. The builds and breakdowns gel very well and everything fits nicely together. The video is also expressing the desperation in the lyrics...my only suggestion was maybe you should sing it on your original language with subtitles if you want English speakers to understand the lyrics (I am assuming from your accent that english isn´t your first language - forgive me if I´m mistaken)? No other nits apart from that. Welcome to the forum!

[blazas]

This is quite a moving song...very heartfelt and atmospheric. The production on the music is superb and I love the flute mixing with the guitars. The builds and breakdowns gel very well and everything fits nicely together. The video is also expressing the desperation in the lyrics...my only suggestion was maybe you should sing it on your original language with subtitles if you want English speakers to understand the lyrics (I am assuming from your accent that english isn´t your first language - forgive me if I´m mistaken)? No other nits apart from that. Welcome to the forum!

thank you very much.
Yes you have right English is not my first language but I think that if I sang this song in Greek language no one exept Greek people whould listen to it.I hope my accent not to be very very bad in English ears

[MartynRich]

This is quite a moving song...very heartfelt and atmospheric. The production on the music is superb and I love the flute mixing with the guitars. The builds and breakdowns gel very well and everything fits nicely together. The video is also expressing the desperation in the lyrics...my only suggestion was maybe you should sing it on your original language with subtitles if you want English speakers to understand the lyrics (I am assuming from your accent that english isn´t your first language - forgive me if I´m mistaken)? No other nits apart from that. Welcome to the forum!

thank you very much.
Yes you have right English is not my first language but I think that if I sang this song in Greek language no one exept Greek people whould listen to it.I hope my accent not to be very very bad in English ears

I don´t think that´s true but it´s a personal opinion. I just think it would be easier to express yourself. And no, I wasn´t saying anything against your English accent 

[Neil C]

Hi,
you've a nice a voice and talking a difficult subject. So great imagery there around the desperation of those who have lost so much..
Sounds good, nice guitars.
Your accent is really fine so no issues there, all understood.
Only thought as Movin' said on a few lines you're trying to cram a few too many words into the song.
 
Neil

[ShinyThang]

Good write musically and lyrically but a clumsy marriage of the two. Nice playing all around