[jaywar76]

I wrote this song because i believe at onetime in everybody life,we all think about suicide.
and lot of the time people just need a friend to talk to.

I don't know what i want with the song,I'm more just writing and then to perform at open mics,
maybe record in a studio when i got a bunch of songs together.

Just general feed back,Its a working title for me.I've add a solo just for the lay out.
Its structure is AABA.

https://soundcloud.com/john-warwick-56231439/suicide-demo

Suicide by John Warwick

Laying they just like status
Use the side walk for their bed
People look and they wonder
But are they really dead
Everybody thinks about it, its suicide

Speeding Cars overturning
It’s spraying glass everywhere
There goes another Angel
Will the blood stains the air
Everybody thinks about it, its suicide

Bridge

When your friends all let you down
You try and make it, through the day
Somewhere in your own town
Someone waiting to help you out

But somewhere in the silent
Without a soul in there sight
Someone else who is broken
Well, hope there find there light
Everybody thinks about it, its suicide

Solo (recording only)

Outro
You're though about it, its suicide
Everybody thinks about it, its suicide

[CaliaMoko]

Hi John,

Not my cup of tea, but I can see potential here. I prefer upbeat and uplifting music (I don't like sad movies, either). I do have one nit with the words.

The line, "You try and make it, through the day," has a grammar error and should be corrected (in my opinion, that is) to "You try to make it through the day."

I'm not against grammar errors if they're used deliberately to achieve an effect, but it doesn't look like this one qualifies for that exemption. Actually, two errors, as the comma after "it" serves no purpose that I'm aware of. (There. I just wrote a sentence with a grammar error in it. My bad!)

Otherwise, interesting start on a piece. I'm interested in hearing your future works.

Vicki

[jaywar76]

The line, "You try and make it, through the day," has a grammar error and should be corrected (in my opinion, that is) to "You try to make it through the day."

Vicki

thanks Vicki,I'll Definitely take your advice,thanks for that.

[North Guitar]

Really liked the solo and guitar
great start, would be interesting to hear sung by female vocals

[jaywar76]

Really liked the solo and guitar
great start, would be interesting to hear sung by female vocals

did have a female i was going to work with
,but she put out,if i get the chance,i will do.