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Latest Lyrics - 'Marley's Moment'

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Graemepryce

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« on: September 04, 2016, 12:18:33 AM »
Latest set of scribblings I wrote about the very odd summer I am having and I quite like them and haven't worked on anything new for a while. I have so very unworked basic ideas for a tune but haven't really settled anything or tried to play it right through or anything yet.

The first two sections / verses I'm thinking of some sort of quite heavy picked guitar part then slowing it right down to a different rhythm and a strumming background for the last part.

Or I might just scrap that idea entirely and try to work something out on the piano instead. lol

This is it anyway-

Marley’s Moment

Stump hunter, Roach hunter, Nicotine and rain
Pinch a pretty moment from the paradox to blame
Stub stalker, aimless walker, Nicotine and pain
Plagiarizing pleasures from precarious gains

Stump hunter Roach hunter, Nicotine and sorrow
Pinch a pretty penny from the deadbeat of tomorrow.
Tip tailor scrap trailer, Nicotine so hollow
Piracy of pointless waste and purpose gone to fallow

Then we’re tripping up in Marley’s moment, everything’s alright
When we live in Marley’s moment everything is bright
Manna comes, it’s undeserved and bounteous and free
‘And frankly I have nothing now, but what will be will be
And what is left to see?
And what is left to see?
Oh, what is left to see?
There is nothing here to see.

It's quite short, I know but I do tend to keep my songs pretty short anyway. I have a couple of unfinished verses that I didn't include where I still haven't found quite the right words so if it needs it when I come to try and put it together I can lengthen it.

Interesting enough to keep working on?

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2016, 01:25:39 AM »
I like it! I can only come up with one suggestion--perhaps consider another word instead of bounteous. For some reason, it doesn't seem to flow gracefully for me. Like the rest of the song. Maybe "plentiful"? The rest of the song is nice and bouncy and "chanty", and bounteous feels too "smooth". Just me, maybe....

Vicki

PS: Look forward to hearing it set to music!

Graemepryce

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« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2016, 09:53:21 PM »
I like it! I can only come up with one suggestion--perhaps consider another word instead of bounteous. For some reason, it doesn't seem to flow gracefully for me. Like the rest of the song. Maybe "plentiful"? The rest of the song is nice and bouncy and "chanty", and bounteous feels too "smooth". Just me, maybe....

Vicki

PS: Look forward to hearing it set to music!

Thanks for the reply! I'll get in the online thesaurus and have a look what else I could use instead of 'bounteous' then. Maybe I'll find something a little more percussive but with a similar enough meaning to be interchangeable.

I was playing around with some barre chords and think I made some progress last night so I might be able to put up a rough version soon.