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Mollydooker gigglepot

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LiamB

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« on: July 17, 2016, 09:39:32 AM »
Hello everyone

This is my 1st post to this forum and the 1st lyric I ever showed anyone (the misses). She thought Mollydooker was a prostitute. She's actually a naughty little Cabernet Sauvignon. It's a hangover song.

Thanks for reading

Liam


Mollydooker gigglepot

(V1)
I got black teeth.
I got black teeth 'n' black gums 'n' a red shirt.
Got black holes in a blank mind 'n' my head hurts.
My head hurts.

(V2)
I got black teeth.
I got black teeth 'n' black spit 'n' a red floor.
Got a pale face that I can't place 'n' my eyes are sore.
My eyes are sore.

(Pre chorus)
Well it's a...another mornin'
and I think I hear you callin'
but I...I'm still reelin'
So you'll have to wait until this evenin'

(Chorus1)
Oh Mollydooker gigglepot
You make me someone I am not.
Think I told you I love ya
Think I poured my heart out to ya
Oh Mollydooker gigglepot

(Pre chorus)
Oh it's a...another mornin'
and I think I hear you callin'
but I...I'm still reelin'
so you'll have to wait until this evenin'

(Chorus 2)
Oh Mollydooker gigglepot
You make me someone I'd forgot
Did I say I adored ya?
Such a shame I can't afford ya
Oh Mollydooker gigglepot

(Bridge)
You always take away my money
make me think it's for the best,
then you stick me to the floor and to the wall.
You always make me drink my coffee
"Take it black with cigarettes"
I don't think you really care for me at all.

Ooh oooh Mollydooker gigglepot
You make me someone I am not
Think I told you I love ya
Think I poured my heart out to ya
Oh Mollydooker gigglepot

Ooh Mollydooker gigglepot
Mollydooker gigglepot

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2016, 09:11:20 PM »
Interesting structure...two verses right off, then no more. Two choruses with pre-choruses. Bridge and one more chorus. And outro. Not typical, but really, you can do pretty much whatever you want, structurally, as long as it makes sense.

I had the most trouble with the bridge, but I finally got it to work for me. The key was to treat it as four lines instead of six. In my head I combined the 1st & 2nd lines and the 4th & 5th lines. Then I was able to identify both a rhythm scheme and a rhyme scheme that worked.

I understand this to be from the perspective of a binge drinker or alcoholic? The story line seems clear to me. I don't have any recommendations for improvements. It took me awhile to get a feel for how the lyric might move to a melody and rhythm, but when I got it, I could easily see how it would work.

Vicki

polite_THINGS

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« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2016, 07:13:11 PM »
This is awesome. Id love to hear the music you have in mind for it
the biggest cartoon is reality

tomcrocus

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« Reply #3 on: July 24, 2016, 06:11:05 PM »
Hi Liam,
            i like this being a red wine drinker myself,
it's got good structure,i don't know if it was meant to be
fun but it's a fun read,the red wine hangovers don't really
affect me unless i make a start on a third bottle then i'm mollydookled,
                                                                                                best wishes,Tom.