[Paulski]

Pocket Dial Blues

 I pocket-dialed my Baby
 I guess she knows 'bout me and you
 Yeah, I pocket-dialed my Baby
 She likely knows 'bout me and you
 Well I must be goin' crazy
 Thinkin' I could split my love in two

 I pocket-dialed my Honey
 She prob'ly knows that I'm a cheat
 Well, I pocket-dialed my Honey
 She prob'ly knows that I'm a cheat
 She's the one with all the money
 I guess she'll throw me on the street

 "Throw me on the street.."

 solo

 I feel my smart phone buzzin'
 I pull it out to take the call
 I feel my smart phone buzzin'
 I pull it out to take the call
 And when I see my Baby's number
 I put my ear up to the phone

 I hear a man say "Do you love me?"
 I hear her say "I really do"
 Another man says "Do you love me?"
 I hear my Baby say "I do"
 {slow down}
 Guess I'm not alone in being clumsy
 And she can pocket-dial me too

 I'm not alone in being clumsy
 And I got the "Pocket Dial Blues"

[CaliaMoko]

Hey Paulski!

Now, this is a perfect topic for a blues number! I can't wait to hear how it sounds. I read through the lyric several times, but I can't figure out a rhythm to make it into a song, but I expect you already have something in mind that will work.

I have one nit in the third verse (actually, it's kind of two in one): "I put my ear up to the phone". Normally, I put the phone up to my ear. Or maybe you're after some sly meaning by turning it around? The second part of the nit has to do with the rhyme scheme, which is consistent throughout except for that same verse.

Now, all this might be deliberate on your part, since I don't know your intentions, but if I were writing it, I would probably spend an inordinate amount of time with my rhyming dictionary, trying to come up with something that rhymes. Maybe:

I feel my smart phone buzzin'
I pull it out to take the call and start to moan
I feel my smart phone buzzin'
I pull it out to take the call and start to moan
And whenBecause I see my Baby's number
As I put my ear up to the phone

or possibly:

I feel my smart phone buzzin'
I pull it out to take the call see who's there
I feel my smart phone buzzin'
I pull it out to take the call see who's there
And when I see my Baby's number
I put the phone up to my ear up to the phone

Not a perfect rhyme, but suitable for an unstable theme like this one.

Help yourself if anything is useful. Ignore if it isn't.

Vicki

[hardtwistmusic]

Didn't really like it until I realized I had to "flow it" as a blues number.  Then I loved it.  Funny how being short a little bit of information can change the perception of a lyric. 

I was able to make it sing perfectly to Buddy Guy's "Damn Right I've Got the Blues" once I knew it was a blues number.  Not sure why I didn't instantly think "blues." 

Anyway.... beautiful subject for a blues song, and it totally works.

[diademgrove]

Hi Paul,

not having a mobile phone I have no idea what pocket dialling is. Didn't stop the song bringing a smile to my face.

A well written song with a punch line, brilliant.

Keith

[Neil C]

Paul,
I get it and i little bit like Verlon, it took a while to work out the blue metre, but I've learnt never to worry about how you fit things to music because you always pull it off superbly. So enjoyed the story and pay-off line, looking forward to the blues..
 
Neil

[igg]

Hi Paul,

I like the blues format and I think the deliberate pace of the repetitions makes the surprise of the last verse work. 
Vicki's suggestion of "see who's there" is a good one. 
The only word I kept tripping over was "clumsy". 
I think I would go with something like...
"I thought I was so cool
I'm just another fool"      kind of thing.... I think it would raise the emotional intensity....

igg

[polite_THINGS]

Thats awesome. Its like a super old blue song vibe with a modern twist. I think music these days could take a note from you with such an inspiration of music that brought it to where it is. I think pastiche can be very good.

If thats what youre going for. If not then nevermind haha

[Vintage54]

    Hi Paulski,
       Now i'm not dumb, except when it comes to jargon concerning technology. I'm guessing "Pocket dialling" is when you hit a button unintentionally and phone someone by accident, or am i wide of the mark? I love this though, got the blues right away, and sang it through without a stutter.

                              Great stuff
                                 Vintage54

[tomcrocus]

I'm with Vintage i'm a techno dinosaur but i get this,
i admire your witt and yeah it's the blues,it's cool,
                                                                     Tom.

[Paulski]

@CaliaMoko

Hi Vicki - thanks for giving this a read a offering your suggs. This is in my recording queue so will have a look at it again before I record with your thoughts in mind. I kind of liked "put my ear up to the phone" though, mainly because this guy's not supposed to be the brightest bulb on the tree

@hardtwistmusic

Hi Verlon. Funny how when you can hear the music pattern things fall into place. That's the trouble with lyrics only Thanks for commenting!

@diademgrove

Thank you Keith - very kind of you to say that

@Neil C

Haha - who looks forward to the blues? I guess we all do, sick ppl that we are. (speak 4 yerself paulski) Thanks for the nice comments.

@igg - thanks for the feedback! Yep - Vicki is one who should not be ignored! Agree "clumsy" is a, well, "clumsy" word but I so want to use it 'cause it rhymes with "love me". Well, sort of.

@polite_THINGS

Cheers for the kind remarks. pastiche - had to google that Funny how the blues is associated with old songs, but its influences keep reappearing in current ones.

@Vintage54

Hey Vintage - yep you got it right - also called a "butt dial" cheers for commenting and the support.

@tomcrocus - cheers Tom - glad to hear the tongue-in-cheek blues

[JolieThePassenger]

HI, I'm very much a newbie here, but I figure that a broad range of opinions is okay? 

I really enjoyed your lyric.  It felt pretty solid and and I also like the wit.  As others have mentioned, I really like the trad blues format with that modern twist.  Great stuff! 

[Paulski]

HI, I'm very much a newbie here, but I figure that a broad range of opinions is okay? 

I really enjoyed your lyric.  It felt pretty solid and and I also like the wit.  As others have mentioned, I really like the trad blues format with that modern twist.  Great stuff! 

Thanks Jolie and yes your opinions are welcome here!