[hardtwistmusic]

Good news - bad news. 

Good news is that I really liked this.   

Bad news is that I don't have much more than that to contribute.  No improvements, no suggestions. 

Not really a critique that way.  Just an "attagirl." 

[tboswell]

More of a sound collage than a song to me ears, it really told the story in a brutal nightmarish way.

The level of detail throughout is breathtaking, the changes in sound and use of effects all telling the story.

Truly great stuff!

Tom.

[crystalsuzy]

Hey Suzy,where does one begin to offer opinion on this one? I feel er..under qualified

There is so much innovation and creativity on this track,it would have done me for about ten songs! 

You fairly pack in the ideas girl,I'd be frightened to use so many in case I used them all in one go! 

You occupy territory populated by such luminaries as Bjork and Imogen Heap,the song itself is a sonic experience and I may be digesting it for some considerable time...*





*skub falls off his chair,twitches a bit,smiles,then lies still...

Thanks Skub! I hope you didn't hurt yourself falling off your chair I'm humbled by your comments and your comparisons  You're too kind, but I don't think I would be worthy of kissing those guys boots...but I'll certainly take the compliment   thanks again   

[crystalsuzy]

Wow! Suzy,the little peeps that work the creative part in your brain deserve a rise!!

You have put together a very clever song.The lyrics are great and you've obviously worked very hard on the production.

You wanted some advice and like Skub this kind of song is above my pay grade creatively.However il have a go and please keep or sweep 

Titles cool and I think youd have to be a bit silly without the backstory to not figure out that Simons the doc!    

Mix is ok Suzy,now listen I'm no pro by a long shot,but for me I think the vocals need a little tlc on the mixing side of things,although I do recall you saying that you record directly into the phone mic which might be more of the issue.I used to do that with a lot of my older songs with the iPad mic and I never really did manage to tame the high end frequencies/esses properly.  Do you use a pop filter? I read somewhere that putting a thin sock over the phone helps a lot with that stuff or you could use Lennons trick of waving his hand in front of his mouth on any ssss or pppp's (he had the iPhone 4s if I recall correctly!!  ) I had no trouble with hearing the words but if you didn't use compression then that's maybe something to look into in the future as its a great trick to make vocals really stand out (in moderation of course:) a great website I use with loads of free videos on production tips is therecordingrevolution.com

I think the spoken doc bits work fine! Is that really you?? Great stuff!

I love how you slow the music down in places to fit the lyrics.Very cool!

I listened 3 times and others may disagree as this is subjective and I'm probably wrong but I kinda feel like it needs more of a hook? There's so much going on which is AWESOME but maybe a hook would glue everything together a little better? Eeek!

I hope you don't take any offence to that Suzy as I'm a big fan and I'm just trying to help where I can as you requested.

All the best
Leo 

Thanks so much for your kind comments and taking the time to do such an in-depth review Leo
I'm in total agreement with your suggestions   I did record this one with my headphone mic, merely because I was too lazy to set my good mic up, and when I'm using effects, like I did in this one, I kind of like the sound of the cheap mic, but at the expense of pops/essses coming through
Yes, all the vocals are me I've just learned how to slow down and speed up the entire track, so I was having fun with that
I think you're right about this needing a catchy hook and I'm trying to come up with something, but not having much luck if you have any idea's please feel free to share.
BTW< Don't worry, I would never take any offense to such helpful suggestions 

[ShinyThang]

'All the Pams in other words' - love it.

Your vocal and musical tapestries are a treat. Not just the lyric but the delivery is always so varied and full of imagination and originality. You are never constrained by anything and the result is always captivating.

This particular creation has a sobering message for me being reliant on a small pharmacy's worth of drugs and only feeling safe and happy when my pill box is fully loaded for the week ahead! I kind-a agree that many doctors dole out drugs too readily. In a yearly review my latest doctor told me 'Of all the tablets you're on, Aspirin is the only one we KNOW is doing any good'.

The Doctor parts are great as they are. Really I think that spoken voice works well. I like the enthusiasm it shows for the drugs and the belief in them.
Yes, I understood most of the words but used the printed lyric on the second run through (i thought the line was  'I fell on my arse and hurt my knee' until l I read the lyric).
You say you incorporated 'Simon Says' into the song but I also heard 'nobody like me' in there 'long , green fat ones'.

I really can't think of any suggestions for this WIP. It came over to me like most of your work does ... on first listen (always just listening not reading lyrics) there are things I I'm not sure about but by the second listen it all seems right and then I just can't remember what I wasn't sure about. I think that, because you are unconventional I always need to hear it once before I 'feel' adjacent parts work together. Unlike a standard rock or pop song which goes where you kind-a expect it to go and so, makes you feel at home sooner. Like seeking out the MacDonald's in a strange town so you know what it's going to look like on the other side of the door rather than exploring the converted double garage in a back street that serves wonderful chicken and is run by a lovely couple who cannot speak your language but still manage to welcome you like their own and engross you in conversation played out in some add-hock sign language / hilarious dance. Sorry, strayed off the path a bit there. But the double garage restaurant thing really happened to me! ... what was I trying to say? ... You're not like MacDonnald's

[digger72]

Hi Suzy,

I've already told you what I think of this piece of Crystal ingenuity, but thought I'd revisit it after a week or so.
I noticed the shifts in tempo more this time - works really well - could it be that you've invented psychedelic grunge?
It still feels like 10 episodes of a mad tv series speeded (or should it be "sped"? I'll leave that for the grammar police) up to fit into one glorious event - but that's why it works so well.

Whilst I seem to write in straight lines, your songs have more curves than Marilyn Monroe. 

Digger

[crystalsuzy]

Hi Suzy

1. What a great topic for a song
2. What a great way to tell the story in non-preachy but hard hitting way

3. But... (sorry there had to be a but!) If I am really honest, I have to say I pressed play and then almost immediately pressed stop as the beginning turned me off a bit - I think my knee-jerk reaction was something like "oh no, sounds very unmelodic and possibly hard work". Admittedly that was before reading the lyrics, and now I have listened again and could get into and enjoy it.

I wonder if you might consider compromising a little and starting a little more accessibly - possibly by having a sweeter harmony on the "Simon says" intro part, or maybe even going staight into the more melodic "Doctor, doctor" part?  I might be alone on this of course, but just a thought.

Just listened again and appreciating more details - like the fiddle on the street corner! And the general descent into an unbalanced world. It's a huge and rewarding piece of work.

Hey Adam...thanks for listening and your honest feedback, and to be honest, I wasn't totally married to that intro I've been working on something a little different, so when/if I get it presentable,
I'll run it by you, to see if it sounds more accessible I think it will also set up the song better, and
seeing how this is a WIP, so I'm open to any constructive suggestions  

[montydog]

Hi Suzy,

I had forgotten just how inventive, clever and ambitious your music is. So many brilliant lines and musical ideas all tripping out one after the other (sorry about that). This is a very rich vein you have mined here and the scope and scale of what you've covered is pretty amazing.

I'm thinking this is probably the best thing you've come up with so far. Nothing to critique negatively - it all good. Mix, vocals, production all spot on.

In another fairer universe this would be No.1

Awesome.

M

[Paulski]

Hi CS

Just want to echo what others have said - very creative and well put together.
Not easy to do all those tempo changes in a DAW - well, for me not easy.
You've pulled it off flawlessly. My only crit is length but no-one else mentioned it so forget that I did too.

Good stuff!
Paul

[crystalsuzy]

Hi Suzy, very creative and unconventional. I also thought of early Zappa stuff, this would fit perfectly on one of his early ones! There's a Zappa song that has lines starting ' believe me when I tell you that this stuff is really true, and another line about kennys little creature on display'I can't think of the title though. This really reminds me of that. Must have taken ages to glue all this together?
Cheers
Jamie

Zappa again! Wow, thanks Jamie I was never a huge Zappa fan, but I'll try and find that song, because now I'm really curious  Yes this did take a few days, and it's not really finished yet 

[crystalsuzy]

This is wonderful! As others have said, way too much to take in on one listen - but well worth multiple listens. I love the way it develops and changes and slows and fades just like I've been taking too many pills. Lyrics are a work of art and the production and construction are brilliant. Last few seconds are genius!

It's so far away from anything I could do or conceive of that I don't feel qualified to offer any criticism other than to say I just loved it. I agree with the Frank Zappa comparisons too - a female Zappa. There's a world for you to step into and rule!! Go for it 

Thanks so much for your very kind and humbling comments delb0y...I'm so glad you liked it
I guess I do tend to get a little over exuberant about how much I put into a song
"a female Zappa" I like it 

Suzie,

Very interesting ....can hear the message that you are conveying.

Definitely Pop Art at its best...a great soundtrack to the right movie.


Sandeep

Thanks Sandeep the message is what this song is all about, so I glad you got it 

Good news - bad news. 

Good news is that I really liked this.   

Bad news is that I don't have much more than that to contribute.  No improvements, no suggestions. 

Not really a critique that way.  Just an "attagirl." 

Thanks htm that is good news...what more could I ask for 

[Stan9007]

Hello! This music bewitches by its unpredictability! Very interesting style reminding Broadway shows.

[crystalsuzy]

More of a sound collage than a song to me ears, it really told the story in a brutal nightmarish way.

The level of detail throughout is breathtaking, the changes in sound and use of effects all telling the story.

Truly great stuff!

Tom.

Thanks Tom, I really appreciate your supportive comments, and I think you're absolutely right in
your description<"sound collage"> I like that  I'm glad the story resonated with you that way, because it is a 'nightmare' 

[misswhiterabbit]

Totally bizarre but wonderfully fascinating. Held my attention and I loved the narrative. Awesome stuff.

[Jambrains]

Yep, this is Suzy alright.  Don't know what to say really, this is one crazy sonic mayhem of a song with so many layers, twist and turns it makes my head spin. Since I'm just a simple mainstream guy all you songs are walking a very fine line between brilliant and plain madness for me. And for the first time I think there is just a tad to much of (very well organized) chaos for me to really appreciate the song.
But still, I may not be crazy about it as a song but I bow my head in deep admiration and respect for coming up with such a complex beast and also to able execute it so well!