[sparky]

howdy all some of you may not be into country, and thats all right yall might still have great ideas. i have been trying to write alone for a while now and songs just sound down right bad. So here go what i have so far.

Driving down the road today
I pulled off to the side
Tears running down my face
As the rain hounds on

If i could count a thousand reasons i could stay
could you count a thousand more why i should stay
young and scared i had no idea what to do from here
so i cried and strummed to the beat of the rain

ya not very good but i try and make my songs around a memory.
Thanks for looking and helping

[Oldbutyet]

Hey Sparky, welcome to you.

Not much to go on but you did say country and i can see something there in what you've written so far, sometime when i write lyrics i start with just writing the idea i have for the story that will hopefully been seen in the song, then i go looking for the lyrics in what i have written usually adding new words along the way, this way has help me out with a few songs that i have written so maybe this way might help you out as well, anyway this is just four lines that i got from reading what you have here, also you say driving so i threw in an old beat up cadillac, you can use or ignore its just to explain what i mean so ask more questions if you have to im sure their are many more here who will come along and give you more ideas.

Good luck with writing your song.


Driving down the road

In a old beat up cadillac

Heading for the motorway

Had enough of your lies no more reasons why i should stay

[hardtwistmusic]

howdy all some of you may not be into country, and thats all right yall might still have great ideas. i have been trying to write alone for a while now and songs just sound down right bad. So here go what i have so far.

Driving down the road today
I pulled off to the side
Tears running down my face
As the rain hounds on

If i could count a thousand reasons i could stay
could you count a thousand more why i should stay
young and scared i had no idea what to do from here
so i cried and strummed to the beat of the rain

ya not very good but i try and make my songs around a memory.
Thanks for looking and helping

Loved the opening set of lines.  

Not sure what "hounds on" is saying, but there are alternatives, since it doesn't rhyme anywhere it's easily replaced or explained.  Even not fully understanding that, I still liked the lines.  

"If i could count a thousand reasons i could stay
could you count a thousand more why i should stay."  

I would suggest you don't rhyme "stay" with "stay."  It jars the listener.  Here's a suggested alternative direction.  

"If i could count a thousand reasons i could stay
If I thought it wouldn't bring you any pain."   (Note that I'm rhyming with "rain" in the fourth line, not "stay" in the first.  This isn't a good line I've provided, just a suggested different method of dealing with this.)    

And here is a suggestion for the final line.  

Young and scared i had no idea what I should do from here
so i cried and strummed my old guitar to the beat of the falling rain.  

Of course, you probably have your own tune and "flow" in mind, so all this might not apply.  

Now, a short lecture.  

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER say (or allow yourself to think)  "ya not very good."  

We're all AFRAID our stuff isn't good.  And for each of us, sometimes it really isn't.  
But NEVER short change yourself by thinking what you're working on "isn't any good."  Make US tell you it isn't good enough.  That's what we DO for one another.  No one is less qualified than you are to dismiss your own work.  

It's YOUR job to believe it's GREAT.  And it's our job to tell you when it isn't.  And, in turn, it's your job to honestly tell us when our stuff isn't great.  

If we DO tell you it's not great, (and unless a lot of us tell  you so, "it ain't necessarily so.") you can either improve it, abandon it, or stand by it. 

Keep in mind that any one criticism is of no value.  It's the consensus and the "patterns of criticism" that tells us/you whether your/our songs are good.  

But the point is.... believe in what you are doing until there is feedback from someone else that tells you not to.  THEN... sometimes you STILL have to believe in your own vision and ignore all the critics.  
Every great story and/or song was hated by someone, but still overcame that and became what it was destined to be.  Critics aren't always right.  

Anyway, this was intended as an encouraging lecture, not a "trip to the woodshed."  

I'm looking forward to hearing what this lyric might become.

[sparky]

Thanks for the input y`all.

Hey Sparky, welcome to you.

Not much to go on but you did say country and i can see something there in what you've written so far, sometime when i write lyrics i start with just writing the idea i have for the story that will hopefully been seen in the song, then i go looking for the lyrics in what i have written usually adding new words along the way, this way has help me out with a few songs that i have written so maybe this way might help you out as well, anyway this is just four lines that i got from reading what you have here, also you say driving so i threw in an old beat up cadillac, you can use or ignore its just to explain what i mean so ask more questions if you have to im sure their are many more here who will come along and give you more ideas.

Good luck with writing your song.


Driving down the road

In a old beat up cadillac

Heading for the motorway

Had enough of your lies no more reasons why i should stay

i like it but insted of Cadillac we could use Chevrolet because i was driving my old k10 that day.
but the last line not really true it was more of diffrent pathes not lies, but could go something like this...

Driving down the Road
in my rusted out Chevrolet
heading for the motorway
wheels turning the gears in my soul

that as the opener-ish

howdy all some of you may not be into country, and thats all right yall might still have great ideas. i have been trying to write alone for a while now and songs just sound down right bad. So here go what i have so far.

Driving down the road today
I pulled off to the side
Tears running down my face
As the rain hounds on

If i could count a thousand reasons i could stay
could you count a thousand more why i should stay
young and scared i had no idea what to do from here
so i cried and strummed to the beat of the rain

ya not very good but i try and make my songs around a memory.
Thanks for looking and helping

Loved the opening set of lines. 

Not sure what "hounds on" is saying, but there are alternatives, since it doesn't rhyme anywhere it's easily replaced or explained.  Even not fully understanding that, I still liked the lines. 

"If i could count a thousand reasons i could stay
could you count a thousand more why i should stay." 

I would suggest you don't rhyme "stay" with "stay."  It jars the listener.  Here's a suggested alternative direction.   

"If i could count a thousand reasons i could stay
If I thought it wouldn't bring you any pain."   (Note that I'm rhyming with "rain" in the fourth line, not "stay" in the first.  This isn't a good line I've provided, just a suggested different method of dealing with this.)   

And here is a suggestion for the final line. 

Young and scared i had no idea what I should do from here
so i cried and strummed my old guitar to the beat of the falling rain. 

Of course, you probably have your own tune and "flow" in mind, so all this might not apply. 

Now, a short lecture. 

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER say (or allow yourself to think)  "ya not very good." 

We're all AFRAID our stuff isn't good.  And for each of us, sometimes it really isn't. 
But NEVER short change yourself by thinking what you're working on "isn't any good."  Make US tell you it isn't good enough.  That's what we DO for one another.  No one is less qualified than you are to dismiss your own work. 

It's YOUR job to believe it's GREAT.  And it's our job to tell you when it isn't.  And, in turn, it's your job to honestly tell us when our stuff isn't great. 

If we DO tell you it's not great, (and unless a lot of us tell  you so, "it ain't necessarily so.") you can either improve it, abandon it, or stand by it. 

Keep in mind that any one criticism is of no value.  It's the consensus and the "patterns of criticism" that tells us/you whether your/our songs are good. 

But the point is.... believe in what you are doing until there is feedback from someone else that tells you not to.  THEN... sometimes you STILL have to believe in your own vision and ignore all the critics. 
Every great story and/or song was hated by someone, but still overcame that and became what it was destined to be.  Critics aren't always right. 

Anyway, this was intended as an encouraging lecture, not a "trip to the woodshed." 

I'm looking forward to hearing what this lyric might become.

first off thanks for the "trip to the woodshed" haha. your very right persistence and determination is a great thing. and understanding of when a wider group says its not the best then it might be.
anyways on to the song......

hounding on...... to me is kinda like pouring rain on a old tin roof. but in this case i was in my old chevy thats full american steel. and oh the sound of that rain on that old truck roof is wonderful. theirs just nothing like it, it makes a thousand flicking sounds that join together making a rain symphony.  but not the best word choice probably.

as for the last lines you sudjected i like them. and i dont really have a tune at all

"If i could count a thousand reasons i could stay
If I thought it wouldn't bring you any pain."

really like it..... cus its rather true between her and i.

and this one

Young and scared i had no idea what I should do from here
so i cried and strummed my old guitar to the beat of the falling rain.

amazing what a few more discriptive words can do for the feel of the song.
Thanks all!
-Sparky

[Oldbutyet]

Driving down the Road
in my rusted out Chevrolet
heading for the motorway
wheels turning the gears in my soul

For me writing lyrics its best to get as many lyric lines written that you can, at the end of that stage then you have a better idea of any manor changes that you might have to make, what i mean is, if you're happy with the four lines that you have then move on to the next four lines, all switching and swapping and manor changes can be made when you start to see the flow in your lyrics and so on.

Also what you have written here

"is kinda like pouring rain on a old tin roof. but in this case i was in my old chevy thats full american steel. and oh the sound of that rain on that old truck roof is wonderful. theirs just nothing like it, it makes a thousand flicking sounds that join together making a rain symphony"

That is really a great way to describe what you're telling us so what i suggest is look into that and take some lyric lines from it like for example  "in my old chevy full american steel"  leave out the words you don't need and just use the words that gives us the picture you want us to see but remember, lyric lines, one other thing  "wheels turning the gears in my soul"  that really is a great lyric line but you wont know if its in the right place until you start to see the flow in All of your lyric lines.

Don't worry about losing the idea you have for your song that will fall into place, welcome to the journey call Songwriters.

[sparky]

what i originally wrote was just what poped into my head early one morning. but ya makes total scene.

so like taking
Kinda like rain on a old tin roof
Kinda like making a symphony
theirs nothing quite like a Chevrolet
American made and strong as a rock

smelling the diesel in the rain
....... brain scrap from there hahaha....

[Oldbutyet]

what i originally wrote was just what poped into my head early one morning. but ya makes total scene.

so like taking
Kinda like rain on a old tin roof
Kinda like making a symphony
theirs nothing quite like a Chevrolet
American made and strong as a rock

smelling the diesel in the rain
....... brain scrap from there hahaha....

Okay nice one, you got plenty of lyric lines and ideas so far so now i guess the next stage of lyric writing is getting to what your song is all about, so now you need to find some new lyrics, as i said before writing the ideas down does help so if you cant find these new lyrics then maybe try it this way.

Forget about the lyrics for a while just write as if you're telling your story to someone in such a way that you don't want that person to lose interest and that means even if you have to add to it, remember at the end of it all this is a song you're writing, okay say you're finish writing this story and it doesn't have to be a long story, then you sit back and read it as if you're the person you're telling it to, also put feeling into it and if you feel move by it then read it again because thats where you're going to find some or all of your lyrics and remember, enjoy, even the frustration of it all 

Keep us posted.

[sparky]

sorry for the late response work has me scratching my head and pulling long hours..... but back to it.

people i tell my stories to always love them. some say its the way i tell it or my tone idk i just love having more stories to tell. im always saying when something happens hey that will make a great story or that storys are how i walk through life. theres always another story to find and make.

so here is the story behind the song- beat of rain

i was driving back from stores or a car show or whatever it dont really matter. and im rolling down interstate 78. just thinking and shifting gears. my chevy had a really hard to shift 4 on the floor. heavy clutch but with enough force you could make the truck sweep along the road. like a normal day i have country craked up on my turn dial radio. i got tired of 4 lane interstate so took a exit and took the back way home, through where i used to work, where my mom grew up and the boys go muddin when it rains alot on weekends. and im just crusing along. not a care. few curves and downshifts and then i roll up to where i stop and (is kinda like pouring rain on a old tin roof. but in this case i was in my old chevy thats full american steel. and oh the sound of that rain on that old truck roof is wonderful. theirs just nothing like it, it makes a thousand flicking sounds that join together making a rain symphony) not even thinking i get out of the truck in the rain and i sit on the hood. at this point im soaked. praying to god to give me peace or another chance because i let the one woman go that made me feel like sunflowers lining a old dirt road with rolling golden and green feilds with oaks holding up the sun with there aweful branches. still [pouring rain i climb off the truck and get in, fire it up and continue shifting gears.........

[Oldbutyet]

sorry for the late response work has me scratching my head and pulling long hours..... but back to it.

people i tell my stories to always love them. some say its the way i tell it or my tone idk i just love having more stories to tell. im always saying when something happens hey that will make a great story or that storys are how i walk through life. theres always another story to find and make.

so here is the story behind the song- beat of rain

i was driving back from stores or a car show or whatever it dont really matter. and im rolling down interstate 78. just thinking and shifting gears. my chevy had a really hard to shift 4 on the floor. heavy clutch but with enough force you could make the truck sweep along the road. like a normal day i have country craked up on my turn dial radio. i got tired of 4 lane interstate so took a exit and took the back way home, through where i used to work, where my mom grew up and the boys go muddin when it rains alot on weekends. and im just crusing along. not a care. few curves and downshifts and then i roll up to where i stop and (is kinda like pouring rain on a old tin roof. but in this case i was in my old chevy thats full american steel. and oh the sound of that rain on that old truck roof is wonderful. theirs just nothing like it, it makes a thousand flicking sounds that join together making a rain symphony) not even thinking i get out of the truck in the rain and i sit on the hood. at this point im soaked. praying to god to give me peace or another chance because i let the one woman go that made me feel like sunflowers lining a old dirt road with rolling golden and green feilds with oaks holding up the sun with there aweful branches. still [pouring rain i climb off the truck and get in, fire it up and continue shifting gears.........

Hey Sparky

Just heading out for the day but i have to say thats a very good read great use of words, im hearing American country all right, just quickly going over it again i can see lyrics lines like, "where my mom grew up and the boys go muddin"  and  "im just crusing along. not a care. few curves and downshifts"

[Oldbutyet]

sorry for the late response work has me scratching my head and pulling long hours..... but back to it.

people i tell my stories to always love them. some say its the way i tell it or my tone idk i just love having more stories to tell. im always saying when something happens hey that will make a great story or that storys are how i walk through life. theres always another story to find and make.

so here is the story behind the song- beat of rain

i was driving back from stores or a car show or whatever it dont really matter. and im rolling down interstate 78. just thinking and shifting gears. my chevy had a really hard to shift 4 on the floor. heavy clutch but with enough force you could make the truck sweep along the road. like a normal day i have country craked up on my turn dial radio. i got tired of 4 lane interstate so took a exit and took the back way home, through where i used to work, where my mom grew up and the boys go muddin when it rains alot on weekends. and im just crusing along. not a care. few curves and downshifts and then i roll up to where i stop and (is kinda like pouring rain on a old tin roof. but in this case i was in my old chevy thats full american steel. and oh the sound of that rain on that old truck roof is wonderful. theirs just nothing like it, it makes a thousand flicking sounds that join together making a rain symphony) not even thinking i get out of the truck in the rain and i sit on the hood. at this point im soaked. praying to god to give me peace or another chance because i let the one woman go that made me feel like sunflowers lining a old dirt road with rolling golden and green feilds with oaks holding up the sun with there aweful branches. still [pouring rain i climb off the truck and get in, fire it up and continue shifting gears.........

Okay for me your first verse is driving although im not to sure about using the word "rusted" i drove a few old rust buckets in my time so i think the words "old beat up" might come across better but thats up to you, your first verse has to be written in such a way that it draw the listener and readers in. i would go with eight lines of lyrics or two lines of four.

The next set of lyrics i think would come from this part of your story  "praying to god to give me peace or another chance because i let the one woman go that made me feel like sunflowers lining a old dirt road with rolling golden and green feilds with oaks holding up the sun with there aweful branches. still [pouring rain i climb off the truck and get in, fire it up and continue shifting gears"  leave out this word "aweful" i think maybe that could be your chorus then after that the next verse i would just go with four lyric lines and i would take those four lines from this part  "i got tired of 4 lane interstate so took a exit and took the back way home, through where i used to work, where my mom grew up and the boys go muddin when it rains alot on weekends"  sometimes after a breakup heading back home is where people go.

After that you can finish with chorus or those four lines again, of course you can ignore all this and go your own way but thats the way i would go, when you get your lyrics written post them in the lyric section and remember, reviewing others will get your lyrics reviewed, its been a interesting journey and the best of luck to you, enjoy and welcome.

[sparky]

thanks oldbutyet i love the layout. i have been working a lot lately and now have some time scince i dislocated a rib so basicly out of work for a few days. so ill work on the song

[sparky]

rolling down interstate 78
just thinking and shifting gears
this chevy with a 4 on the floor
 heavy clutch but you could make the truck sweep along the road
 like a normal day i have country cranked up on my turn dial radio

praying to god to give me peace or another chance
i let the one woman go that made me feel
like sunflowers lining a old dirt road
with rolling golden and green fields with oaks holding up the sun
still pouring rain i climb off the truck and get in,
fire it up pop the clutch, shift a gear
and roll on

i got tired of 4 lane interstate
so took an exit for the back way home,
through where i used to work
where my mom grew up
the boys go muddin when it rains a lot




so that is a fast outline. what do ya think

[Oldbutyet]

rolling down interstate 78
just thinking and shifting gears
this chevy with a 4 on the floor
 heavy clutch but you could make the truck sweep along the road
 like a normal day i have country cranked up on my turn dial radio

praying to god to give me peace or another chance
i let the one woman go that made me feel
like sunflowers lining a old dirt road
with rolling golden and green fields with oaks holding up the sun
still pouring rain i climb off the truck and get in,
fire it up pop the clutch, shift a gear
and roll on

i got tired of 4 lane interstate
so took an exit for the back way home,
through where i used to work
where my mom grew up
the boys go muddin when it rains a lot




so that is a fast outline. what do ya think

Its okay but to me it still reads like a story but believe me you're getting there, lyric lines has to help each other they have to fall in line with each other, change rearrange add whatever but you need your lyric lines to flow, remember this is a song you're now writing base on your story, this is just an example .

rolling down interstate 78
heavy clutch shifting gears this old chevy with a 4 on the floor
wheels turning the gears in my soul
its a lonely drive but ive country cranked up on my turn dial, radio

That example is just to show you the picture of your story that lyrics can give also i added your line "wheels turning the gears in my soul" just to add a bit more to the picture and as you can see they're all your words, keep posting here for as long as you need and as i said, believe me you're getting there.

[sparky]

this is what i have so far it dont sound to bad!
???Strum pattern (anyones guess)
G                  Em
Rolling down the interstate
C                       Bm                   G                       C
Heavy clutch as I shift the gears, this worlds flying by this old Chevy
 D                     Em
Wheels turning the gears in my soul
G                             C                              G       Em
it’s a lonely drive, so I cranked country up, on my radio

G                     C                               D
Praying to god, please give me peace, or another chance
C                                                D
I let one woman go, that ment the world to me
G                                         G(one strum)
Like sunflowers on an old dirt road
C(one strum)         C(one strum)
With rolling golden hills

[hardtwistmusic]

this is what i have so far it dont sound to bad!
???Strum pattern (anyones guess)
G                  Em
Rolling down the interstate
C                       Bm                   G                       C
Heavy clutch as I shift the gears, this worlds flying by this old Chevy
 D                     Em
Wheels turning the gears in my soul
G                             C                              G       Em
it’s a lonely drive, so I cranked country up, on my radio

G                     C                               D
Praying to god, please give me peace, or another chance
C                                                D
I let one woman go, that ment the world to me
G                                         G(one strum)
Like sunflowers on an old dirt road
C(one strum)         C(one strum)
With rolling golden hills

Have you noticed that this has evolved into a whole different song?  That's one of the HUGE benefits of this forum is that new ideas spring forth with the advice here.   

But.... but.... but.... the song you started with is good too.  You now have TWO songs.  develop them both over time.  "Never discard" is my motto when writing a song.  Keep everything, and split off from the old. 

And, the most important thing is that it sounds like you are having fun with this.  Often enough, fun is the only real reward to songwriting.  I don't say that to discourage, but it's kind of true.