[Oldbutyet]

Agree with everything Verlon said one of the great things about writing whether its stories lyrics or poetry is keeping them, they'll always find some way of helping you out.

When i started writing years ago i started writing short stories but then i found a way into lyric and poetry writing and it was all because i was writing words instead of just thinking about them and after reading what i was writing i started to think "you know what, maybe i have something here"
doesn't matter how we all started but its similar ways just different words

this is what i have so far it dont sound to bad!
???Strum pattern (anyones guess)
G                  Em
Rolling down the interstate
C                       Bm                   G                       C
Heavy clutch as I shift the gears, this worlds flying by this old Chevy
 D                     Em
Wheels turning the gears in my soul
G                             C                              G       Em
it’s a lonely drive, so I cranked country up, on my radio

G                     C                               D
Praying to god, please give me peace, or another chance
C                                                D
I let one woman go, that ment the world to me
G                                         G(one strum)
Like sunflowers on an old dirt road
C(one strum)         C(one strum)
With rolling golden hills

I like what you done here im starting to see that flow and if you think it sound good then that makes the flow sound even better, welcome to the journey songwriter i like this keep posting.

[sparky]

thanks all and i will be keaping all i write for songs....

here is the latest 3rd verse. think i need a chorus idk

G                  Em
Rolling down the interstate
C                       Bm                   G                       C
Heavy clutch as I shift the gears, this worlds flying by this old Chevy
 D                     Em
Wheels turning the gears in my soul
G                             C               Em
it’s a lonely drive, country on my radio

G                     C                               D
Praying to god, please give me peace, or another chance
C                                                D
I let one woman go, that ment the world to me
G                                         G(one strum)
Like sunflowers on an old dirt road
C(one strum)         C(one strum)
With rolling golden hills


Pulled off the interstate, taking the back way home
Where my mom grew up and the boys meet up on Sundays
Just cruising along, not a care, as the world rolls by


i have not put music to it yet. any additions or changes are very welcome. and what would yall think a good strum pattern would be?

[Oldbutyet]

thanks all and i will be keaping all i write for songs....

here is the latest 3rd verse. think i need a chorus idk

G                  Em
Rolling down the interstate
C                       Bm                   G                       C
Heavy clutch as I shift the gears, this worlds flying by this old Chevy
 D                     Em
Wheels turning the gears in my soul
G                             C               Em
it’s a lonely drive, country on my radio

G                     C                               D
Praying to god, please give me peace, or another chance
C                                                D
I let one woman go, that ment the world to me
G                                         G(one strum)
Like sunflowers on an old dirt road
C(one strum)         C(one strum)
With rolling golden hills


Pulled off the interstate, taking the back way home
Where my mom grew up and the boys meet up on Sundays
Just cruising along, not a care, as the world rolls by


i have not put music to it yet. any additions or changes are very welcome. and what would yall think a good strum pattern would be?

This is really good as i said before i like the way you use words according to the story we now can clearly see in your lyrics, the strum pattern, for me when im recording lyrics is help by both going with what my fingers are playing with guitar strings and how my vocals are singing and bringing them together, helping each other giving the lyrics that human feel to them, for me its that feel that finds that strum pattern.

One other thing i learn, you don't have to be a singer to achieve that, im not, really like this.

[sparky]

G                  Em
Rolling down the interstate
C                       Bm                   G                       C
Heavy clutch as I shift the gears, this worlds flying by this old Chevy
 D                     Bm
Wheels turning the gears in my soul
G                             C               Em
it’s a lonely drive, country on my radio

G                     C                               D
Praying to god, please give me peace, or another chance
G
Cus now you see……
C                                                D
I let one woman go, that ment the world to me
G                                         G(one strum)
Like sunflowers on an old dirt road
C(one strum)         C(one strum)
With rolling golden hills

G                                  Bm
Pulled off the interstate, taking the back way home
G
Where my momma grew up
D
Where the boys meet on Sundays
G                          C                                 D
Just cruising along, not a care, as the world moves  on
G                     C                               D
Praying to god, please give me peace, or another chance
G
Cus now you see……
C                                                D
I let one woman go, that ment the world to me
G                                  C
Smileing threw cherry lips, kiss sweeter then sweet tea
C(one strum)         C(one strum)

[sparky]

i think the song is complete....
chime in and play it through change it ans improve it.

G                  Em
Rolling down the interstate
C                       Bm                   G                       C
Heavy clutch as I shift the gears, this worlds flying by my  old Chevy
 D                     Bm
Wheels turning the gears in my soul
G                             C               Em
it’s a lonely drive, country on my radio

G                     C                               D
Praying to god, please give me peace, or another chance
G
Cus now you see……
C                                                D
I let one woman go, that ment the world to me
G                                         G(one strum)
Like sunflowers on an old dirt road
C(one strum)         C(one strum)
With rolling golden hills

G                                  Bm
Pulled off the interstate, taking the back way home
G
Where my momma grew up
D
Where the boys meet at sundown
G                          C                                 D
Just cruising along, not a care, as the world moves  on
G                     C                               D
Praying to god, please give me peace, or another chance
G
Cus now you see……
C                                                D
I let one woman go, that ment the world to me
G                                  C
Smileing threw cherry lips, kiss sweeter then sweet tea
C(one strum)         C(one strum)

G                     C            D
Shes the one… I will always miss

[CaliaMoko]

Hey Sparky!

I like being able to see how your lyric developed as I read through this thread. I'm wondering about one line in the song:

Just cruising along, not a care, as the world moves  on.

The phrase "not a care" gives me the impression of someone cruising along feeling free and easy, with no cares in the world--definitely not a stressed or unhappy person. Yet the song as a whole is about someone who wishes s/he had made different choices and is looking for peace and/or another chance. So that part seems like a direct contradiction.

Second thing: I see you have chords, but there is no link to a recording of the song. You must have a melody, right? You say, "...play it through...", but I don't know your rhythm or melody, so I can't really do that. Can you upload a recording somewhere (Sound Cloud, SoundClick, Reverbnation, and others have free options available), so we can hear your song?

Overall I can see how your lyric has come a long way from your first post to this most recent version. You've made very good use of the possibilities of these forums!

Vicki

[sparky]

yes very true it does contridict the song...... thanks for pointing it out...

i dont really have a tune yet. but i can make a recording and play threw it. just have not had time since i restore trucks and its long hours and hard work.

but thanks for your great imput!

[sparky]

ok very rough play through but here is a recording

https://soundcloud.com/shawn-enslow/another-chance

[Oldbutyet]

First of all great feedback and advice from Vicki and i like the way you're taken it.

Listen to your song and i have to say rough and all you got something but i will say your lyrics are singing a bit untidy, so if you dont mind maybe try it this way, letting your vocals fill in the commas and dots just keeping that flow.


Rolling down the interstate heavy clutch shifting gears

Wheels turning gears in my soul old Chevy

it’s a lonely drive this worlds flies by

country on my radio old dial im feeling low


Praying to god, give me peace, another chance

I let my woman go, ment the world to me

Like sunflowers on an old dirt road

With rolling golden, fields


Pulled off the interstate, taking the back way home

Where my momma grew up, family home

Where her boys would gather, at sundown

Im praying to god now, give me peace, another chance


I let my woman go, ment the world to me

Smileing cherry lips, kiss sweeter then, me


Praying to god, give me peace, another chance

I let my woman go, ment the world to me

Like sunflowers on an old dirt road

Smileing cherry lips, kiss sweeter then, me

Spoken word

God, this is not my home anymore, that old Chevy is going to take me back to her.

Damn it god i just hope you're on my side

[sparky]

i red threw how you re wrote the song and to me it feels confusing....

[Oldbutyet]

i red threw how you re wrote the song and to me it feels confusing....

Different between reading and singing.

Lyrics.

[sparky]

very true. ill give it a shot

[sparky]

ok so i tryed to mix what you had into the original i think its much better.

Ver 2

G                  C                 D
flying down the interstate, shifting gears
G                                 C
this worlds passing by, my old Chevy
 D                     G                    C
Wheels turning the gears in my soul

G                     C                               D
Praying to god, give me peace, or another chance
C                                                D
I let one woman go, she ment the world to me
G                  C                        D
She was like, sunflowers on our old dirt road
C                    D
Kindest heart, you ever did know

G C D
G                                  D
Pulled off the interstate, taking the back way home
G                           C
Miles of memories, places we used to go
G                          C                                 D
Just cruising along, as the world moves on

G C D
I let the one woman go, ment the world to me
Smiling cherry lips, green field eyes
G C D
G                     C                               D
Praying to god, please give me peace, or another chance
C                                                D
I let one woman go, she ment the world to me
G                           C
Smiling cherry lips, Kiss sweeter then honey bees

Spoken
This ant my home no more, this Chevy is just good ol metal,
she’s the one that made it worth this ride

G                                   C
I let the one woman go, ment the world to me
G                                        D                C
She had the Biggest heart,  you ever will find

[Oldbutyet]

ok so i tryed to mix what you had into the original i think its much better.

Ver 2

G                  C                 D
flying down the interstate, shifting gears
G                                 C
this worlds passing by, my old Chevy
 D                     G                    C
Wheels turning the gears in my soul

G                     C                               D
Praying to god, give me peace, or another chance
C                                                D
I let one woman go, she ment the world to me
G                  C                        D
She was like, sunflowers on our old dirt road
C                    D
Kindest heart, you ever did know

G C D
G                                  D
Pulled off the interstate, taking the back way home
G                           C
Miles of memories, places we used to go
G                          C                                 D
Just cruising along, as the world moves on

G C D
I let the one woman go, ment the world to me
Smiling cherry lips, green field eyes
G C D
G                     C                               D
Praying to god, please give me peace, or another chance
C                                                D
I let one woman go, she ment the world to me
G                           C
Smiling cherry lips, Kiss sweeter then honey bees

Spoken
This ant my home no more, this Chevy is just good ol metal,
she’s the one that made it worth this ride

G                                   C
I let the one woman go, ment the world to me
G                                        D                C
She had the Biggest heart,  you ever will find

Okay if you're happy enough with what you have here then i suggest you record it and post it either on this site (finished songs section is what i usually use) or some other songwriter forum but remember one very important rule and i don't like using the word rule, feedback is give and take and believe me i know thats easier said than done but even the words "i like this"  will do for as long as it takes for you to find your own comfort zone, don't be put off by the feedback of others we all started in similar ways.

Start working on your new song and if its just lyrics then post in the lyric section if record then post in song section one other thing you a mechanic, my brother a mechanic we work together but i do the driving    there use to be an old saying i break them he fix them then im back on the road again.

Its been a pleasure to meet you Shawn looking forward to hearing more songs from you.