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Yin Machine

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AdamBradders

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« on: May 04, 2016, 10:51:18 AM »
Hi,

So I'm new to song writing, been a musician for a long time but not really attempted to write anything before.

I decided to work towards putting out an album (probably to be called "Yin Machine/Yang Machine").

I'm looking for feedback on the first song I've done, available on soundcloud here:
https://soundcloud.com/adambradleyguitar/sets/yin-machine-yang-machine-demo

Edit: Forgot to say what the songs about - it has been helpful for me to select a 'theme' to write songs about so that I don't get stuck thinking of what to write about, so I'm writing about the relationship between humans and machines. The first song, "Yin Machine", is about how we create technology and use it in a way we think will help us but that ends up harming us (I was thinking about predator drones).

Thanks,
-Adam

Lyrics for Yin Machine:

The Yin Machine
In time you will see,
For all your seeds will fall on a parallel landscape of ghosts and broken images,
An urban place overlain with the delusions and hallucinations of sensing machines,
Here, data flows as calm as a woodland stream,
from mainframe spring to the ocean of the mind,
But you will not be here.
For now, sit with me, my children,
and be still. (in time you will see)

Singing

Verse

All flesh is just like grass,
Animals with machines,
Parallel ghosts are seen
In broken shards

Make your skin feel ready,
Take me away from here,
Folding the corners down,
Take me away from here,

Chorus

Take me away from here,
Take me away from here,
Folding the corners down,
Take me away from here,

Delusions play well here now,
Take me away from here,
Yin machine, my machine,
Take me away!

Verse

All flesh is just like grass,
Animals with machines,
Hung up on default sets,
Amplified weight

Attrition plays well now,
Take me away from here,
Folding the corners down,
Take me away from here,

Chorus

Take me away from here,
Take me away from here,
Folding the corners down,
Take me away from here,

Delusions play well here now,
Take me away from here,
Yin machine, my machine,
Take me away!

Blue screen of death junky,
Take me away from here,
Folding the corners down,
Take me away from here,

Delusions play well here now,
Take me away from here,
Yin machine, my machine,
Take me away!

Break/Bass solo
Go!
Go!
Going!
Going!

The Yin Machine

Natural de-selection is what's really going on,
An operating manual still missing some pages,
Electro-mechanical wish held and then gone,
Whilst we wait paralysed for the restore of the status quo

Singing

Take me away from here,
Take me away from here,
Folding the corners down,
Take me away from here,

Delusions play well here now,
Take me away from here,
Yin machine, my machine,
Take me away!

Blue screen of death junky,
Take me away from here,
Folding the corners down,
Take me away from here,

Delusions play well here now,
Take me away from here,
Yin machine, my machine,
Take me away!
« Last Edit: May 05, 2016, 12:02:36 AM by AdamBradders »

tboswell

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« Reply #1 on: May 04, 2016, 12:26:30 PM »
I do admire your ambition here, trying to do a whole concept album as your first project!

This is not really a genre I am practised in so I won't, got into detail too much.
Your arrangement and production skills seems pretty well developed and the sound is full realised.

Personally I found that both songs were just a little long, repeating themselves quite a bit in the process, without the material or arrangement changing enough but that might be just me.
I found the drums a little "one-level" and some lovely changes in texture in the guitars didn't seem to take, because the drums pounded on.

Considering this is your first project the scope and quality is very impressive indeed and you should definitely try and persevere with this stuff  :)

Please do read the forum rules (one song at a time) and comment on others work if you wish them to comment on yours.

Tom.

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2016, 08:59:44 PM »
Hi Adam. A very accomplished piece of work and an excellent first submission. As Tom says it sounds like you have cracked the production side of things. An interesting song that went in quiet a few different directions for me. Touches of the Foos, Green Day and System of a down. No bad thing. Hope you enjoy the forum and have an explore of our very diverse community  :)

Cheers John

diademgrove

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« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2016, 10:17:23 PM »
Hi Adam,

not really my kind of music. I liked the change at around 3.40. I found the repeated chorus to be a bit hard going, sorry.

Like Tom and John have said its really well recorded and I quite liked the drums.

Feel free to ignore me if you disagree.

Welcome to the forum, hope you stick around and I can hear more of your work in the future.

Keith


AdamBradders

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« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2016, 12:12:05 AM »
Thanks for listening.

Yea my lyrics tend to be repetitive because I can't really write vocal parts. It's hard to avoid writing really clichéd stuff so I try to come up with a couple phrases I like and just hammer away at them until the end of the song.

I really like the lyrical style of at the drive-in, so I'm trying to emulate that but it's really difficult to do. It's be interesting to find out what their methodology is.

I've found having a grand scheme for a concept album helps me write rather than being too ambitious - I already know what I'm writing about so I can just get on and do it rather than trying to think of subject matter.

The production isn't that great - I have just found getting really good vocal takes makes everything sound professional. Without the vocal it all sounds pretty basic. Pretty much everything else is done 'in the box' using plugins, and I just use a rode nt-1 and a line 6 ux2 interface for everything recorded (and a zoom h2n recorder for samples when I'm out and about). Cheap and cheerful!







Movin Flavour

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« Reply #5 on: May 05, 2016, 04:34:13 PM »
Hi Adam,

Not a big Heavy metal fan, but I can appreciate the energy in the song and your lyrics are very good.

Great guitars and excellent vocals and productions.

Well done


Sandeep