Miracles On Demand - contains a swear word

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18 in the 80s

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  • I'm a guitar player & songwriter from Midlands UK
« on: April 10, 2016, 10:38:07 AM »
Miracles On Demand

(This song  contains a swear word that begins with ah and rhymes with bit)

https://soundcloud.com/5xgeetptq9kl/demo-miracles-on-demand-iss-2


VERSE 1
The sign on the door said "Miracles On Demand"
I stepped inside, stood in line, my money in my hand
Girl worked there with bee hive hair, had a smile on her face
Said "If you're looking for a Miracle sir, you're in the right place!"

I put my money down and said "If you please ma'am
I would like for you to turn me into a Ladies Man"
And like straight away she looks at me funny and goes a bit red
Then she taps on her computer and says "That'll be six hundred quid"

SPOKEN
I said, "Six hundred quid? Seriously?
I think you better check that again love, that can't be right"
And she just smiles all smarmy like and says "Sorry sir
Perhaps a make over is more within your price-range"
And I said "A make over? I think we both know I need more than a make-over
Don't you?" And then she sneers and says,
"The price does reflect the amount of work involved sir."
I said, "Alright!  Alright!  There's no need for that! 
Six hundred quid ,is it? Right, I'll be back."

CHORUS
When it ain't your day
It's the same old story?
You can't buy a miracle
For love nor money

VERSE 2
To raise the cash I resolved to sing for my supper
Playing music on the street being my bread and butter
Put down the hat and for 24 hours played one song after another
To morning callers,  lunch-time walkers and homeward-bound night clubbers

I played every song the Beatles did
The stuff that Pink Floyd did with Syd
The Yardbirds before Clapton quit
The Rolling Stones before they were shit

All Elvis and Buddy Holly from the fifties
Even some of Robbie Williams 's
The Who,  U2, Cheap Trick
Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick

I played for forty days and forty nights straight with no breaks
Then I picked up my hat and took the money I made
And in my head in singing She loves you yeah yeah yeah
But I couldn't stop thinking about the girl with the beehive hair

CHORUS
When it ain't your day
It's the same old story?
You can't buy a miracle
For love nor money

SPOKEN
Its still a bit steep innit,  600 quid
I mean it's not that big a job is it?
Well alright yeah it IS a big job but
It's not like solving world hunger or faking that thing on the moon is it?
Stroll on

Anyway
Check my reflection in the window at the Miracles On Demand
The bee-hive  girl remembered me as soon as I walked in and
She sneered all snooty like and said,  "Well if it ain't the Ladies Man! "
I said,  "Look I got the money,  so can we get back on plan"

I counted out six hundred all in ones and twos and shrapnel
She's not impressed even though I've raised the capital
She brings out this suit! And I'm looking at it,
And goes,   "Do you want to put it on now or shall I wrap it? "

SPOKEN
And I say" No thanks I'm going to put it on now"
And she gives it to me and I put it on, (perfect fit by the way)
And straight away I could feel the difference
It was amazing,  you know,  I just felt so different but in a really good way
And this bloke,  shop assistant, says,  "Oh yes it definitely does a lot for you! "
And I'm like "Woah, easy tiger!
It says Ladies Man yeah!  Clues in the title."

And I could see the Bee Hive girl was looking at me
And still pretended not to but couldn't help herself
And then I go to her ""So, what do you think? 
AmI a Ladies Man or what? "
And she smiles and says,  "Yeah you look very nice"
Smiling all coy and that you know
I go,  "Yeah proper done the business innit!" and she giggles
And I go,  "So what time do you get of work? "
And she goes "Well,  I ussually finish at four? "
And I say,  "I'm just pulling your leg love,  but maybe another time yeah? "


And I mean it's all well and good yeah
It's all bought and paid for,  all above board
But,  I mean,  I'm a working man ain't I!
Well yeah I would be if it weren't for the government and being no jobs and that!
But it's a large sum of money in anyone's book
That's what I'm saying,  it's not to be sneezed at
You with me?
I mean is it to much to ask?
I knew this bird once yeah all fur coat and no knickers you know what I mean
Her mum was the same my dad says. ...FADE OUT

« Last Edit: April 10, 2016, 10:56:34 AM by 18 in the 80s »
Paul - 18 in the 80s