[PopTodd]

It's been over a week since my last post. But, if that's not long enough, please forgive me; it's been 2 years since I wrote anything, and now I've written my second song in a week.
Curious to know what you think.
The music is sort of an upbeat Tin Pan Alley pop thing with jazz chords and such.
Demo video here so that you can hear the rhythms:

“This Ain’t No Race”

1.
Well I’ve been tied up
Now I’m tied down
And I’m tangled up in knots
But you know, it ain’t the worst place I could be
‘Cause I’ve been busted up
And broken down
And lost everything I’d got
But now I’ve got someone to share their debt with me

2.
Well, I owe a lot
She owes a lot
And we’re never catching up
But I’ve never felt the need to save my face
We know we can’t keep up
To what we’ve never caught
And, besides it’s way too late
But now we’re old enough to know this ain’t no race

(bridge)
The Jones’ were born with spoons in their mouths
And they could pay for their head starts
And their daddies all put rockets on their backs
But we could barely pay the entry fee
So when the gun went off
We were left behind—at the back of the pack…

3.
And now we can’t keep up
To what we’ve never caught
And, besides it’s way too late
But now we’re old enough to know this ain’t no race
Oh yeah, we're old enough to know this ain't no race.

[olivergearing]

Hi Mate

I wouldn’t worry about the 2 week thing mate, it’s probably the repeat offenders that people get annoyed with!
I’ve not listened/watched the video, but here are some thoughts on the lyrics.

I like the following line:

We know we can’t keep up
To what we’ve never caught
 

Although the verse about the Jones’ seems a little clunky for me, and I couldn’t work out how it would scan into a song. I suppose like any lyrics, the musical setting may well make this super clear, but maybe it’s worth looking at that line

Other than that it’s an interesting song with a clear and interesting message…

Thanks

[PopTodd]

I appreciate your checking it out.
Yeah, that "Jones'" verse is actually a middle 8 with a slightly different rhythm to it, so... it fits. Although, I am still making some minor tweaks, as I tend to do.
Thanks, Oliver!

[Sing4me88]

I like this one. The opening lines really drew me in - kudos on that. Love the way you've drawn on being tied up, then tied down then tied up in knots.It's a clever way of articulating how someones been through quite a bit to shit!  I love the bridge too - the line about being left behind the pack when the starting gun fires is very clever. It's quite an effortless read and it should be interesting to see what you come up with it musically - it's an interesting structure (3 verses, no chorus and a bridge).

[PopTodd]

I like this one. The opening lines really drew me in - kudos on that. Love the way you've drawn on being tied up, then tied down then tied up in knots.It's a clever way of articulating how someones been through quite a bit to shit!  I love the bridge too - the line about being left behind the pack when the starting gun fires is very clever. It's quite an effortless read and it should be interesting to see what you come up with it musically - it's an interesting structure (3 verses, no chorus and a bridge).

Thanks so much!!!
And, there is music for it, if you check out the YouTube link in my first post. It's rough, but you'll get the idea of how the lyrics flow with the tune.
Really appreciate it!