[18 in the 80s]

My Heart Says Sorry

https://soundcloud.com/5xgeetptq9kl/my-heart-says-sorry

Lyrics (Minor changes made in recording)

VERSE 1
I wasn't thinking
And I don't know how things got that far
But I did what you said,
And I listened to my heart

But it smiled and said
When the cats away the mice can play
You know me and how
I get easily led astray

CHORUS
See, it was him,  not me
And he told me to apologise
My heart says sorry
And so do I

VERSE 2
It's hazy, but I do remember
My heart pumping, his beat is racing
And there was a seductive peroxide poodle girl
That he was serenading

And I tried to tell him,
This will not end well
But he was too far gone to reason with
I might as well've talked to myself

CHORUS
See, I tried to stop him
But he has apologised
My heart says sorry
And so do I

INSTRUMENTAL

BRIDGE
I aint sticking up for him
Cos he cheated that's a fact
And after all you done for him
You deserve better than that

And I ain't saying
you're to blame for any of this
He made his bed,
he can lie in it

VERSE 3

But can you see, how you made him feel?
Your loving bigged up with pride
Got him thinking he got enough love for you
And plenty more besides

INSTRUMENTAL

CHORUS
Sometimes he can't help himself
But he wants to apologise
My heart says sorry
And so do I

[SJ-Salem]

Sound like it would make a great driving song. Good writing and very nice vocal melody.

(I fear this is beginning to become my catchphrase) But I think it could use more layers! Fill the gaps, a bit of 'surprise and delight' as they say.

Overall very good though, the performance was good on all counts. Perhaps more energy in the vocals or guitar now and then to have a more dynamic feel to the song overall. Then the layers to break it up and introduce new ideas, specially as the song is quite long.

Arrangement and tweaking are easy though, the hard part is writing and good song and performing it well. Which I feel you did without question!

Good work man,

SJ Salem

[shortwhat]

You've got a great voice:) actually reminds me of a folky Ian Curtis. I'd say make the (i think it was piano) melody in the background a little louder, I really liked the sound of it but had trouble picking it out most of the time. Also try and put a little more oomph into the bridge vocals before the solo, really pack some emotion in there

[Boydie]

I liked this

It had a really "familiar" feel

I agree with the comment about the catchphrases, perhaps "cliches" within the lyric

I felt the drum sound was a little "heavy" for the track - but then when it picked up I felt it could have gone a bit more heavy with some thick dirty guitars

The bass line is particularly nice and the vocal has a nice "Bowie" feel to them

Overall I think this was a sophisticated listen and I really enjoyed it

[CaliaMoko]

I don't have much to add to the remarks above, but I want to mention the lyrics. First, I like the wording changes you made while singing. It improves the end result. Second, a time or two, the vocal was hard for me to hear. For the most part, I don't have trouble hearing the words, so maybe just maintain your vocal energy through to the ends of lines and ends of words so the sound doesn't drop off.

Very, very nice work!

Vicki

[pompeyjazz]

Hi Paul. I really liked this song. Very bowiesque vocals and lovely dreamy soft feel to it. The semi tremolo guitar in the pre chorus is an absolute killer  a couple of random thoughts might be that the verse may be a bit too long but having said that it added anticipation to the chorus. It's a really clever song cos I couldn't predict where it was going or how it would end up.

Excellent

John

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

Hi Paul

Enjoyed this. As Boydie said it feels kind of familiar. The guitars are very nice.

I listened once following your posted lyric and got lost so you might want to update them!

Listening again I got the feel for the song and all the parts came together nicely with everything happening in the right places, bridge, solo etc

I liked the downbeat nature of the chorus and liked your vocal. It kind of reminded me of something but couldn't get it for a while then it came to me...Tindersticks...don't know what exactly...maybe some of the vocal phrasing, the melancholy feel...not sure.....i'm trying to think of the song....'all we got here is a tired love...it mooches around the house, can't wait to get out....'

Doesn't sound the same really but there you are!

Nice song.....maybe a tad too long in the outro. ....maybe not. Good stuff.