[18 in the 80s]

This is one of the quickest songs I've written, I got it all when I was walking the dog listening to the new Richard Ashcroft single over and over.

It's Just Forever

VERSE 1

I told you everything
Was going to be alright
Words get spoken
Hearts get broken
So this is goodbye
But it's only forever
Please don't cry
I'll see you again

I tell you everything
Is gonna be alright
Words get spoken
Hearts get broken
And this is goodbye
But it's only forever
No need to cry
Cos I'll see you again


CHORUS

I'll see you in dreams and side streets
In the gaze of a stranger, in my memories
I'll see you when I need you near me
And I'll see you when I want to see
And I'll see you then
I'll see you then
And I promise I'll see you again
I promise I'll see you again


VERSE 2

Just close your eyes
As I walk away
I don't want you to see
That I didn't look back
Just close your eyes
As I walk away
I don't want you to see
That I couldn't look back

And it's hurting us both but
We'll share this pain
Like we shared everything
Like tears in the rain
And all of the love and the hate
And the bitter sweet taste
And when we had nothing
And when we had everything


BRIDGE

And I clung to you, you clung to me
And prayed for the sun
No more prayers
Those days have gone


CHORUS

I'll see you in dreams and side streets
In the gaze of a stranger, in my memories
I'll see you when I need you near me
And I'll see you when I want to see
And I'll see you then
I'll see you then
And I promise I'll see you again
I promise I'll see you again


BRIDGE REPRISED

No more prayers now
Those days have gone
No more prayers, honey
Those days have gone
No more prayers, now
Those days have gone

[CaliaMoko]

As far as rhythms, rhymes, and length, I think the whole thing works well.

I'm a little confused by the message, but that probably doesn't matter. I'm often confused....  It sounds like this is about a couple who care about each other but are breaking up...why? There's no indication anything is hurting them except for the breakup itself.

But, like I said, that may not matter. Lots of songs don't really make sense to me and it's often because I'm a little dense. I think.

I'll look forward to hearing it when you get it recorded.

Vicki

[18 in the 80s]

Many thanks Vicki

The subject matter is very personal to me and something I previously thought I'd never be able to write about,  but time being a healer the words did came out,  albeit in an oblique way that doesn't present it self head-on, if that makes sense

[KaelJay]

There are a lot of things you put that I've never really come up of, which is a good point for you.

I think the structure and the word use was good. I think most of it was flawless. I especially loved Verse 1, where you repeated the same message on the second half of it. It emphasize the message of that part.

One of my concerns was the bridge and the outro/last part. The line(s) 'those days have gone' contradicts the message of 'I'll see you again'.

Those are some of what I've thought. Hope this helps you