[18 in the 80s]

Hi,  I'm not sure whether to continue with this sing or not,  it's my Billy Bragg style recollection of a relationship I had when I was too young, 17, to understand anything about such things.

I don't intend to be disrespectful in any way,  but this is kind of how I saw things at the age of intense insensibility!


Top Bird

VERSE ONE
She walked into The Rocket
And even the clocks stopped !
I could only stare like
Oh My God

I'd never been in close proximity
To anyone quite so pretty as she
And as we started grooving
I swear the earth was moving

We kissed for the first time at last orders 
And were confronted by jealous brawlers
Hand-in-hand legged it out the fire escape
Laughing at our escapades

CHORUS
She was a friend and a girl
And a top, top bird 
She was a girl and a friend
But we never made it in the end 

VERSE TWO
Six months later walking home from the pub
She turns to me and says "I think I'm in love"
And I say, "Oh yeah, who with?"
And she says, "With you, ya div!"

I says "Hey I was only having fun"
But we both knew the damage was done 
What was I supposed to do?
Tell the truth or say I love you too?

She was kissy she was cuddly 
She was my best mate and drinking buddy
But she wanted three kids, two dogs, a house
I wonder what she's doing now

CHORUS
She was a friend and a girl
And a top, top bird 
She was a girl and a friend
We never made it in the end......
I wonder what she's doing now



[

[Royston]

Hi Paul

I've read through this lyric a couple of times and it was much the same kind of situation I was in myself however mine was just a drinking buddy we were mates.

When we finished work we ended up in the pub but she was never anything else just a drinking buddy even though I would sometimes stop over at her place.

I seemed think that your song reflects this as in the chorus as friend comes to the fore which implies that you really wanted her as a buddy someone to go out and about with have a laugh with.

I think you should proceed with this make some changes here and there and see how it transpires it's a good theme for a song best of luck with this.

Royston

[18 in the 80s]

Hi Royston and thanks for the advice ref this song

You've obviously got what this is about which is always good, the original consumed a third verse where the girl puts the dinner in his place with some extremely venomous (and justified) statements to him,  which makes the whole thing more round if that makes sense.

I do think I'll dig it out and give it another go!

Cheers

Paul

Is And Was 18 in the 80s

[diademgrove]

Hi Paul,

I think the song is a bit predictable, sorry. She's the one who falls in love and wants the kids. I think it would be a better song if you reversed the roles and it was you who was in love and wanted the three kids, two dogs and the cottage with roses.

Feel free to ignore me if you disagree,

Keith

[tomcrocus]

Yeah Paul this not bad at all,IMH opinion.

"She walked into the rocket
and she stopped the clocks"

that's what i would have wrote.

she was "kissy she was cuddly"

not sure about that line,you might be able to come
up with something better,
                                   really like it,Tom.

[18 in the 80s]

Thanks Tom and Keith much appreciate your comments and suggestions

I'll bear then in mind when I do a rewrite

Thanks

Paul