[18 in the 80s]

Hi,  this is my first post!  A demo of my song "She's my Cooch".

It's me and the guitar on this demo,  and I'm a terrible singer,  but hopefully you'll get an idea of the intended arrangement.

It's a fun friendly commercial tune, possibly romping a touch too fast in the demo,  which I'll put down to Red Light fever lol

Here goes  https://soundcloud.com/5xgeetptq9kl/dancing-with-my-cooch-demo-01

Thanks

Paul
VERSE 1
When I was a young boy about the age of ten
My man's said we got new neighbours moving in
Now curiosity killed our cat but it hadn't killed me
So I go out in the back yard to go and take a peak

Over our back fence don't believe what I saw
There was a funny-lookin girl dancin on the lawn
My eyes got wide like I was in a trance
I said lil girl you ain't pretty but you sure can dance

CHORUS
Yeah she can move, she can groove
Make me wanna do the two step boogaloo
She can rock out, she's a knock out
She makes me wanna get my..... dancing shoes on. ..both feet!!
She's my cooch
She's my cooch
She's ain't too cute but she knows how to move

VERSE 2
As I grew up into a young man I never let out of my sight
I'd walk her to school every morning and take her dancing every night
Me and my girl next door got ourselves a fine romance
She aint too much to look at, but she sure can dance

If take her to a club no one pay her any mind
Till she steps on the dance floor to do the bump and grind
Yeah man, your girl might be one of those city pretty girls
She might even be a contender for next years Miss World


CHORUS
But she can move, she can groove?
Make me wanna do the the two step boogaloo
My girl can rock out, she's a knock out
She makes me wanna get my..... Dancing shoes
She's my cooch
She's my cooch
She's ain't too cute but she knows how to move

VERSE 3
Can she do the The Twist, The Shag, The Shim Sham
The Bossa Nova, the Chicken Dance
The Boogie-Woogie, The Lindy Hop
The Jitterbug,  the Fox Trot

Dance like Elvis the Pelvis, M.C. Hammer
The Harlem Shuffle like Mick Jagger
The Freak, The Freddy, The YMCA
The Moonwalk,  The Merengue

Spice Girls doing Wannabe
Vogue by Madonna, the
Rumba, La Bamba, and Fandango
The Sumba, The Mambo and the Tango?

CHORUS
Yeah she can move she can groove
Make me wanna do the the two step boogaloo
She can rock out, she's a knock out
She makes me wanna get my..... Dancing shoes
She's my cooch
She's my cooch
She's ain't too cute but she knows how to move

Gonna kick out my jams and dance with my cooch
She's my girl, always has been
We do the Okey-Cokey and I put the right one in
In out in out, shake it... baby

[pompeyjazz]

Paul, I really liked this . Sounds like John cooper Clarke on speed meets the velvet underground. My couple of comments to you would be... 1. Slow it down, there are some brilliant lyrics in there and my slow brain had trouble keeping up  2. Relax. It's a really good song so try reducing the bpm a bit and imagine you are Lou Reed. Only my opinion of course. Nice work

Cheers

Pompeyjazz

[Wolfini]

Yeah, fast. Just a bit. ;-) Made it hard for me to follow, and I could not really hear what the melody is since you were rushing along that much.

I also had to google cooch ... and... um. ?? Were you aware of the urban dictionary meanings of cooch when you wrote this?   

So, I guess the jury is still out on this one but for now I will say Hello and Welcome, and take your time with the next song.

Bye Wolfi

[adamfarr]

Hi Paul - I think you definitely did what you set out to do here which is to bring the song into the world and hear the potential behind it. Yes, it's a bit frantic and the lyrics keep tumbling out but there are some great lines in there and it's a fun song. I might prune down to keep just the best lyrics with a few BPM less and a bit more space in between but I think it could be something realy good.

[dinnerwithgreedo]

Yeah... it's a little too fast. Slow it down but not too much. I love the structure of the first two lines of the chorus.

[CaliaMoko]

What everybody said. I could hear and understand all the words, but only because I had the lyrics to go by. Now, if you get Meatloaf to sing it, I don't think you would have to slow it down at all.

I do wonder about the words in one line, where you have "city pretty girl". Could be just me, but it sounds awkward and I would probably have said, "pretty city girl" instead.

Nice upbeat tune, which I like.

Vicki

[PaulAds]

Hi Paul

some really good lines in here and a very spirited delivery...as the guys say, you could perhaps do with slowing it down a little and making the vocals more upfront...i'm not sure that there's actually much wrong with your singing...i think it's something it's necessary to whack the level up anyway so the melody and lyrics get more of a look in...

i'm dead impressed that you're getting stuck in to the forum...and the competition too