Never performed in front of more than 1 person at a time, and even then I feel crap afterwards because I know the nerves make it sound awful in comparison to when I play for myself. How did you guys muster up the courage and composure?
Speaking only for myself, of course...I worked into it gradually, starting when I was 16. Got a guitar and started teaching myself to play chords. Got with a small group of people who liked to sing and we would just jam together. And then take turns doing stuff. Before long I was relaxed when it was informal like that.
More formal...it's hard to remember, but first I probably was song leader at church in college. On campus they had guitar Mass at the Catholic church and guitar-accompanied music also for the campus Lutheran services. Anyway, when everyone is singing along with you, it's less nerve-wracking.
Then I forced myself to perform at events, still at college. That was nerve-wracking, but also exhilarating. And while in college, I also went to clubs that had live music, whenever I got a chance, and I often asked if I could sing something with them (pretty much always "House of the Rising Sun"). I don't know why, but that was usually easy on the nerves. I felt kind of "lost in the crowd" on stage.
Interestingly, although my major was vocal music, I could never get comfortable with performing in classes or for recitals in the music department. I did that only when absolutely essential, and I swear I nearly died from nerves each time.
These days, what works best for me is singing in public regularly and often. When I'm not in the habit, it's more scary on the rare occasions I do perform.
If I'm going to be singing a song or two at some event, it helps to imagine singing well and feeling relaxed. And saying to myself, "I can
do this! It's going to go
well!"
I hope something here might be helpful for you.
Vicki