I feel for you. I've been writing, recording and gigging for 30 years now. I've had many of the same experiences with industry contacts. I often curse myself for developing my songwriting ability and sometimes wish that I had never begun this journey. However I love to write and at times am filled with great satisfaction that I never experience with any other activity. I think that I'll never achieve any real success as a writer and his can be very difficult to accept. However, It's important to accept this and get on with other aspects of your life. I have some good quality recording equipment and have developed my ability over time. Experience enables me to get on with my musical projects quickly. I have a huge back catalogue of songs that I'll never find time to record. I'm just starting to send the odd demo out to Publishing companies for their consideration. If like me, you're not interested in pursuing fame then I see this as a good opportunity to get your music heard. I'm not going to pay anyone to listen to my material.
I had a Taxi membership about five years ago. It was expensive and I felt that it was tailored towards the American music industry. I think that as a taxi member, you're required to familiarise yourself with many artists that you may be unfamiliar with and then tailor your writing accordinggly to be in with a chance. I thought that the whole process was expensive, i.e membership and then submission fees on top. You might strike it lucky and I hope you do if you decide to go own this route. However, I'd advise you to be cautious! It's easy to get jaded with the music business. All I can say, is try to enjoy your writing and don't become a slave to it. Enjoy other aspects of your life and you never know something wonderful might happen when you're least expecting it. I hope you don't mind that I've shared this with you. I was genuinely moved by the thoughts that you expressed in your post and wish you well for the future.
Paul