[adamfarr]

Quick thank you to everyone for listens and input. I feel that I am going forward all the time, and this forum has played a huge part of that.

- hardtwist: thanks so much - this one is mainly about the words, but it's great to hear that the music is also getting in line...

- oliver: glad you also liked my "rock star moment"  Yes, maybe I got myself locked into the similes and couldn't find the exit... Thanks as always.

- Jamie: thanks re the bass - been working on that quite a bit (was supposed to have a bit of a Bruce Foxton feel). And yes, the "space"! - my homework for 2016...

- Ironknee: many thanks - the guitar is a 335 style model on a direct input into the (free!) Voxengo amp sim plugin - I used to be a "mic the tube amp" fiend but the Voxengo has such a range of EQ, amp sounds, cab sounds, IR possibilities and more.

- Viscount: I think you nailed it as ever "Rule 1: thou shalt not distract". If I have learned one thing this year then it is that I may be able to compromise on some things but never on lyrical rhythm/scanning. If I want to keep being ambitious with interest and meaning then I may need to work twice as hard on that. Thanks for making the point in such a constructive way. And for good thoughts re the arrangement.

- NeilC: many thanks - Talking Heads indeed - not an influence I have been aware of! Interesting how opinions are divided on the acoustic section. I'll definitely take on board the comments re structure - I definitely shouldn't make it too hard for the listener...

[Jamie]

Hi Adam, just to be clear, my 'bass' comments were to do with the tone and volume of the bass, not the notes you were playing,I thought they were fine!
Cheers
Jamie

[nooms]

this pushes along lovely adam gets quite punchy..like what your doing
and your vocals are good on this , especially like the change  @ 2 mins
sound a bit like theflamin groovies ..check them out circa 76 shake some action
as said a few of the lines felt awkward and maybe intentionaly so, provocative maybe
but you risk losing the tracks momentum if you dont fit the awkward in a little more...rehearsed ?
good stuff adam and a happy new year

[PaulAds]

hi Adam

another big step forward in both performance and production...loved the bit around 2:20 where the vocal takes over...you really seemed to get a hold of the song there in particular

i think i'd maybe try to get a little more impact right at the start, if possible...show everyone you mean business, so to speak

another thoughtful and interesting concept too...good stuff!

[adamfarr]

One more quick thanks for listening and commenting. For those commenting on the structure I did a quick edit with no pre-chorus and it worked OK but the mid section came around far too quickly and would need further major surgery to be made to work. Hmm:

- Jamie - yes, indeed, thanks - the low end is a challenge, to find the balance between too much (muddy) and too little (weak)... Still working on it...

- Nooms - very interesting - I think the awkwardness may truly be more in the writing than the delivery. Thanks re the vocals and the Flamin Groovies (now that's proper rock n roll).

- Paul - thanks indeed - I often like to build from low and your impact point made me have a rethink - perhaps the lead guitar should make an apperance at the start before returning at the end... and many thanks for comments on the vocals.

Cheers everyone.

[montydog]

Hi,

I'd echo the comments about being a little wordy and the sound needing some more space. I never felt I was "inside" the recording. Some pitch issues and all in all a little fussy in it's structure. Having said all that, it's still showing signs of improvement over your last track. I can see what people mean about the Talking Heads thing and I never really liked them so I'm thinking I may be unfairly biased. The bass is good - gave the track real drive and energy and you should be encouraged by how much you have engaged the people on here with your music.

M

[tboswell]

Like this one Adam, very nice.

I find the verse chord sequence a little weak, those rising chords are OK but I get the feeling something else could work better.
But the chorus is nice and strong, like that.

Lovely arrangement touches in there. The backing vocals in the bridge are great and then the stripped down chorus works really well. Makes the chorus even more effective.

Nice work,

Tom.

[Morefrog Jones]

You certainly have you own style and are improving slowly but surely.
I dont hate the song but dont like it either...but cant put my finger on why.
It makes me feel uncomfortable but not enough to turn it off. So i think you may be on to something.

All I know is if you keep at it, one of these days you will come it with a very good song that will combine youre slightly odd lyrical style and vocal delivery. I applaud your attempts at not going down the easy route with the lyrics, again they make you uncomfortable as they dont go in the direction you expect and keeps you on the edge of your seat till the end.
You have to be a bit different to stand out from the mass of enthusiastic amateur song writers so you are ahead of the game there and i am convinced that you will come up with something very good in the near future.

I notice the second version is better but on a lot of your songs it feels like you're 'band' is playing in the front room and you are singing in the shed totally disconnected from the rest of the song.

[Sullish]

Very unique sounding, took me back to the late 70's early 80's.

I liked it because it held my attention but does lack a 'hook' I feel, not that I'm an expert!

[adamfarr]

More quick thank yous - all the input is really interesting and thought-provoking.

Sullish: thanks for a very valid point I think - the chorus is not very melodically daring - if anything the hook might be the guitar riff that it matches... But if not that memorable then more to do...

Morefrog: thanks for being open-minded and understanding. Sometimes I think if I wrote a boring song and spent months in the production I'd get more compliments, but that's really not my style. But I totally agree that too much oddity will lose people, so it's a balancing act.

Tom: thanks so much! I do take the point re the progression - definitely some chords from other keys in places which probably isn't ideal and is something to watch. (I know I do that a lot...)

Montydog: all good points. Thanks in particular re the bass. For the rest, for sure work to do. But yes, I feel I am streets ahead of where I was and in no small part thanks to all on here.

Cheers all.

[digger72]

Hi Adam,

Good, driving groove. The bass and claps work well - especially when the other instrumentation drops away. Guitar had a nice tone.
I thought the vocal was quite catchy, if a little nervous sounding.

Mrs D liked it too.

Nice one,

Digger