[adamfarr]

Merry Christmas to all.

Couldn't wait to post this one for feedback. The lyrics produced quite a bit of comment - thanks to all. After all the raw emotion of Rescued by the Rain, I wanted to do a simple three minute rock song. But, to paraphrase Dolly Parton, producing something simple can be really complex ...

Story is that a young man is dumped by his much older lover - she describes this as a normal part of growing up - he describes it using a blend of youthful and adult similes...

All comments appreciated as ever. Have a good one!

Remix (thanks to commenters) https://soundcloud.com/lutehill/snakeskin-remix-30-12-2015

Snakeskin

Verse 1:
Your silence jolts me like a swearing child
Your absence cuts me like an unused wedding ring
Your leaving's like December with no santa, a kite without a string

Pre-chorus 1:
You say the tree to grow needs to be cut
That it's normal for horses to fall
But to me it doesn't seem natural at all.

Chorus:
You say it's like a snake losing its skin,
Like a tree losing its leaves,
Like a child cutting his teeth,
But it doesn't seem natural to me

Verse 2:
Your hardness raps me like a kitten's claw
Your coldness slaps me like an empty double bed
Your going's like a birthday with no candles, a rose without a head

Pre-chorus 2:
You say that corn grows stronger planted alone
That from a nest eggs always fall
But to me it doesn't seem natural at all.

Bridge:
I want what we had (you don't care)
I want what I had (it's not fair)
I don't want to start again
If this is growing then I want to stay small

(c) Adam Farr, 2015

[pompeyjazz]

Hi Adam,

I like this, probably my favourite of yours so far. You've got a quirky "New wave" feel going on around here. I like your guitar and bass sounds. Reminds me of The Young Knives. Your production has certainly come on in leaps and bounds. My only criticism would be that it is maybe too "wordy" I feel if you left some lyrics out the song would flow a whole lot better as you sometimes seem to be cramming the lyrics in.

Overall though, I really enjoyed this and as I say, my favourite of yours so far.

Keep it up 

Cheers

John / Pompeyjazz

[shadowfax]

Yeah..some improvement goin on, definately too wordy and they don't rhyme very well in places where they should..
vocal still a bit narrative though and it sounds like it's recorded in your lounge or bedroom...you need to give it a space

best, Kevin

[Paulski]

Hi Adam

Cool song!
It sounds unique to me - can't compare it with anyone else (that's a good thing!)
I really like the choruses and esp like the bridge with the response lines. TBH I don't get some of the verse lyrics - like how a wedding ring can cut or how going can be like a headless rose but I'm thick that way. There were a couple of pitch issues on the lead vocal - esp when you are out of breath - that should be fixed IMHO.

Enjoyed the listen!
Paul

[Jambrains]

Yeah, great vibe! I pretty much agree with what others has already said but will add a few things not mentioned yet.
- I see exactly what you are trying to achieve in the intro and it will be way cool if you pull it off. However, right now it does not quite work (at least not for me). I can't figure out if it's not played tightly enough or too tight but for some reason it comes through as "askew", hard to describe and maybe it's just me....
- I'd say the bass need some more balls and bottom end and possibly come up in the mix as well esp. in the chorus where I can barely hear it at all.
- The kick is a bit lame as well
- I would also try to get the vocals more "in the mix" rather than "on top" of it. Could be as simple as backing them of a tad.
Now, don't get me wrong, this is not bad in any way, just offering some ideas making it even better and as always, very much up to personal preferences.
Keep or sweep 

[Frenchy]

Hi Adam,

Merry Christmas to you too ! I am very much warming to your quirky brit pop sound.

My issue again is the song, there are not two lines in this song that rhyme ! And the problem with that is that the phrases don't 'close out' leaving the lister the satisfaction to move on to the next idea in the song being totally satisfied. It makes for umcomfortable listening. The basic idea of a song is that it should ryhme in places.

I like what you are doing and some of your originality is genious.

Regards,
Lee

[Frenchy]

Adam,

check this video at better expresses what I was trying to express in my last post.

If you don't relate to it, then sorry for wasting your time, just ignore it and me !

Regards,

Frenchy

[danieltrigger]

Entirely agree with the 'Brit-pop' thing that people have commented on - I can imagine this type of track from the likes of Blur or Franz Ferdinand. For me, the winning ingredient was the lyrics, especially liking the very first line "...jolts me like  a swearing child". Unique - never heard that before, but get exactly what you mean!

[adamfarr]

Thanks for all the comments everyone!

- Pompeyjazz - thanks indeed! Young Knives is a great comparison - very "British". Glad you liked it.

- Shadowfax - thanks for the input - still experimenting with "space"! I steered clear of too many rhymes to match the "confused" theme but will revisist...

- Paulski - OK some of the lyrics were more figurative than literal... Thanks for reviewing - the lead vocal probably could use some work.

- Jambrains - thanks for the detailed feedback on the mix. There is something "laggy" about the intro - not sure if latency or overcompensating for it. Maybe it needs to push forward a bit more and not be on the beat. A remix will apear soon.

- Frenchy - many thanks for listening. I did think about these things and deliberately decided that the theme of the song needed a kind of unresolved feel in terms of rhymes and progressions - but perhaps too much or not skilfully enough done if you were left wanting. Love a bit of Pat Pattison - probably I wouldn't be here if not for his books... But I really do think that there is no rule that a song must rhyme! (though this one does in places).

- danieltrigger - Jackpot if one of the lines sounded a chord with you! Thanks for listening!

[hardtwistmusic]

After all the detailed and helpful suggestions, and all I can think to say is "I like it."  Loved the music from the lead-in to the end. 

Definitely the right music for the vocal/lyric.  I did not mind the near rhymes and non rhymes.  The song had plenty of definition.  For me, rhymes are just "landmarks for the listener."  Like signposts, there is no need for them when there is only one direction to go.  I felt this said what it should say.

[olivergearing]

Hey Adam,

Like the vibe you've gone for, the band sounds good and backs up the lyrics well. Lyrically it is strong, although it feels like you've got one too any similes in there. Perhaps this is what the others were referring to with the "wordy" comments.

Sparse production, which fits with the message in the song, and sounds nice a tight to my ear.

Some lovely lyrics - e.g.  "If this is growing then I want to stay small".

Also, digged the breakdown at the end of the song, vocals and drums, a nice variation which sets the end up.

[Jamie]

Hi Adam, I was thinking 70's stones when the heard the intro. Nice guitar riff and tones. The bass lines were good but a maybe could be 'beefed up' a bit. Quirky vocals, heading down the morrissey route. I agree with other comments about the lack of 'space ' in the recording.
Definitely moving in the right direction technically and musically.
Cheers
Jamie

[IronKnee]

Hey there Adamfarr.......pretty cool tune you have there. The lyrics are sharp and very ear catching.
I like this recording! Love the electric guitar (what is that you are playing on?)
Good stuff!
                                -Tom

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

Cool sound Adam. Guitar sounds great.

First listen I confess I struggled a bit but subsequent listens i came to appreciate it more.

I'm now on the updated version AND listening through speakers instead of headphones.

There are a lot of good moments and the song itself sounds well-conceived. Some good lines in there too.

The rhyme thing doesn't matter so much to me as the phrasing or should that be the metre....some lines don't flow too well. It's already been said by more than one person so I won't bother to repeat all that too much. But I do agree some with Frenchy here.

I know that we are in the business of analysing the song a bit too much perhaps where a 'normal' listener wouldn't but if things are jumping out too much in a distracting way they are maybe too noticeable. I think where the/a song works best is where we aren't noticing most the time even what instruments are being played because we're so caught up in the song as a whole and that only on a closer analysis do we notice that, for example, there is a horn part running right through 'In The Midnight Hour' by Wilson Pickett not just the solo part.

So, just to say my piece, it's the pre-chorus parts that are clunky. Anyway, you do what you want!

The bridge here works really well and is one of the highlights of the song for me. It does everything a bridge should do in taking us away somewhere else good momentarily and making the re-entry into the song a memorable moment, though I don't know if that is quite the right moment to be dropping off the backing....? I think, and I've got nothing to back me up and am only an amateur, that the song re-entry should preferably go back to something we've already had....something already familiar and set in our heads....as I say I've got nothing but my own feelings to back this up!

Oh yeah that every beat snare doesn't seem right for me either....but oliver is a drummer and he didn't mention it so it must be just me!

Anyway you've done a good job on the song - not so simple,is it? - and demonstrated some good ideas for the arrangement, sounds etc

Nice one. Happy New Year!

[Neil C]

Adam,
Good title and neat intro/verse.
The chorus is strong and interesting lyrics. Structurally there's quite a lot to get your head around with lengthy pre-chorus and a middle section. In terms of arrangement again theres a fair bit going but again its suits the style. The only bit i wasn't so sure about was the acoustic middle section 
I like the ambition and it reminds me a but of Talking Heads.
 
Neil