[adamfarr]

Hi all
Some may remember this from the lyrics section - thanks for lots of good input there as always.

It was inspired by this - now quite famous I think - Craigslist Missed Connections post entitled "I met you in the rain on the last day of 1972, the same day I resolved to kill myself":
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/craigslist-missed-connection_56177218e4b0dbb8000df6d4

Whether or not it's genuine, it's hard to be unmoved. (Summary: Vietnam veteran finds returning home too hard to handle and contemplates suicide; trudges around Boston in the rain; finds another uphappy, soaked person in a ballgown; they share coffee and chat but she disappears; this meeting gives him the will to keep living; years later he posts a piece online describing what happened, thanking her and wondering whether she's still out there.) But for a twist - and to avoid cheese - I decided to write it from the lady's point of view...

As always, lots of questions:

- It's quite specific and potentially not universal - if you don't know the story does it make any sense at all? Does it matter?
- I went for a slow build - but does it lose interest?
- The final chorus felt right - but does it go on too long?
- I do realise that I am a British male and this should be sung by an American female...

Anyhow, it's been a labour of love. Interested in everyone's reactions as ever.

Rescued by the Rain
Slight remix (thanks to commenters): https://soundcloud.com/lutehill/rescued-by-the-rain-17122015-remix

V1
Coffee and pie ambushed your final thoughts
I saw someone whose whiskey they could wash away
For an hour did I make you the richest man in town
Your smoke giving way to our rain

V2
But I also moved between patient and nurse
All we had to do was keep each other alive
Forget what we've done and see what's still to do
Two fighters with petrified eyes

CH
Who gave who
the greatest gift?
To wonder at life's colours again
Who saved who?
That day when life loved us
And we were both rescued by the rain

V3
Seems I was born only to serve
So with honour I returned to face my own wars
Dutifully sending more good hearts out into the world
For me no discharge; and almost no remorse...

M8
Enough now
When you're someone like me
You make do with an hour of escape
Go now
Your escape was complete
But we'll both still remember when it rains

(c) Adam Farr, 2015

[giitlesriddles]

Hey,
I just gotta say Wow, this is really cool, It's very off color and reminiscent of a Tim Burton movie, this is really cool. When the beat come in, it starts to remind me more of Roger Waters in Pink Floyd. I'm really digging the levels here, making the voice so prominent, and the instrumentation background. Good song.
~Nate

[shadowfax]

Very endearing strangeness indeed..something about this I just can't put my finger on, a sort of narrative song with clunky lyrics but you've made it work..how? well done..
a remarkable improvement sir...
still think your vocal is too dry..just a touch of space would be good IMHO..

best, Kevin

[pompeyjazz]

This is lovely and laid back Adam. Your production is coming on in leaps and bounds. As usual your lyrics are very stimulating and interesting. You sure know how to tell a good story. Vocals sounding very good as well

Cheers John

[refusedrevival]

Hi,

Nice track.
The intro could be better, but after that the song develops well.



refusedrevival

[tboswell]

Lovely idea for a song and careful choice of perspective has made positive impact. I liked the gentle intro.

I noticed that you don't rhyme much in the lyrics and that can make it appear clunky if you are not careful. It calls attention to particular words when they do not rhyme and takes you out of the song a bit I felt.

Your middle 8 I found a little too similar to the rest of the song, and wanted it to stand out more. Moving the chord progression faster or slower, changing the rhythm or changing key all would provide that.

I did really like the drums at the end, coming out and changing the texture. Nice touch!

Great effort, lovely song :-)

Tom.

[Morefrog Jones]

You seem to slowly be improving track by track so you are heading in the right direction, your voice is defiantly an acquired taste but in some strange twisted way is more likely to get attention than an over processed one. You remind me of one of the more obscure comedians who fellow comedians think are a genius but the rest of the word just dont get and think are rubbish. If this song got played on Radio 6 by some cool DJ i think you might get yourself a small but select fan club of cool music fans who think you are amazingly obscure while the rest of the world scratches their heads ands thinks what the hell is this all about.

For what its worth I think this song and performance is so bad that its brillant. Hauntingly cool and odd at the same time. "Music Noir"

Hope I haven't been too Blunt

[Tommy Blixt]

Hello adamfarr!

Really nice a soothing track! The guitar harmonies is the beginning has really got me. Great stuff! I really like the mild feeling you have got going.

With love
Known as, Beppe
Tommy

[Jamie]

Hi Adam, this has a strange 60's feel to this could have been a weird cross between Edgar Broughton and   Syd Barrett. The drum build worked pretty well! I found the intro a bit jarring and too different from the song once it got going. Keep working at it!
Cheers
Jamie

[adamfarr]

Hi all - thanks for comments so far. So many different ways to say "strange" ;-) This was never going to be a commercial sounding project but I never thought I would get such a wide range of feedback.

giitlesriddles: thanks a million, glad you liked it, and especially the production which I am gradually getting into.

shadowfax: thanks, means a lot coming from you - I think you have commented on all my songs on here and seen my "journey". I added plate, ambience and chorus on the vocal - quite noticeable in solo but not so much in the mix (and so I backed them right off during the quiet middle . Probably better to go with too little than too much for now, right? I think slightly clunky can be OK if all words work together and are "authentic" which I did spend a lot of attention on...

pompeyjazz: thanks particularly for the comments on lyrics and storytelling - up to now I think production issues have distracted from those things which are really what I am most about. Vocals comment is a bonus!

refusedrevival: glad you got into it after the intro - any suggestions on what might work better for you? Thanks for listening!

tboswell: thanks for very telling comments as usual. For sure there is something prosaic at times about the lyrics which comes from not wanting to compromise on meaning. Some of the phrasing has quite a "spoken" feel too, which I think helps, but you're right it's a bit of a tightrope. I definitely take on board your comments on middle 8 - for me it was the emotional highpoint of the song but I accept that the development might not match.

Morefrog Jones: umm... I guess all I can say is thanks for listening...

knownasbeppe: interesting how you liked the intro when others didn't so much. Thanks for the feedback!

Jamie: Another question mark over the intro - food for thought... Did it work for you when it came back in the solo? I have to say I've no idea about Edgar Broughton but I will check him out... Thanks for that!

[DonMar]

Adam, this is a touching and intriguing song. I like the fact it was based on that Craig’s List message (which I’d never heard of).
(Many of my own lyrics have been inspired by poignant – or amusing – brief comments on sites like Dear Old Love or PostSecret.)

I like the way you avoided using perfect rhymes and opted for related rhymes (away/rain; alive/eyes; wars/remorse) in the verses. This added to the overall uniqueness of the lyric and the performance.

If you decide ever to re-track this one, a certain clunkiness might be resolved by dropping a syllable or two in some of the lines, or by slightly rewording them (e.g. ‘For an hour I made you the richest man in town’, as this is how it would normally be expressed in conversation).  As regards phrasing, I think the pause between sentence fragments in many of the lines contributes to this clunkiness, as the continual stops break the flow; they become predictable, and could distract the listener. They also weaken the strong words that follow the pauses.

It’s also important not to emphasise unimportant words, such as prepositions (e.g. ‘For’ in line 3, V1).

A further thought: simply for contrast, the use of perfect rhymes in the bridge might punch it up a little. Give it more anchorage, so to speak.

I like the imagery in the lyric, and find V2 & 3 particularly moving.

The sense in line 2, V1, is unclear. Perhaps the idea could be expressed differently?
And without knowing the back story, I would have found line 4 unclear as well.

All in all, though, a charming song, tender and authentic. Very nice storytelling. (I’m not a musician, but in my mind I can hear the song with a simple acoustic guitar or piano.) In fact, if you find a female singer, maybe someone who could give it a quirky anti-folk vibe, like Kimya Dawson or Regina Spektor.

Just a few thoughts. I hope they’re of use.

Donna

[nooms]

really like this
that chorus turned my head..  moving song good lyric
nice kind of sixties thing when the strumming arrives..lifts it
nice mix
thought you sang it well tho a little wobbly at the off but the chorus arrived and i was turned..
youve a character voice , stands out, its a gift really  hang on to it mate, i sing like adam farr should be your warcry ! the more you use it the better youll get it.. think its about conviction really and youve got that.
great song


 

[Musicmansam]

Hi Adam,

Great original sounding riffs in the opening and some nice lyrics. I enjoyed listening to your track, it took me to a few different places all at once!

My greatest problem was how the vocal sits in the mix, it sounds like you have a ducker on some times, as when the voice kicks in the music is severely in the background in the chorus. I could be wrong, but I also think you've got a boost somewhere between 1.5 and 4kHz on the vocal which is too strong in my opinion (could be the mic you're using). I think that putting a bit of reverb on the vocal, lowering the gain and changing the EQ a bit will set the vocal back in the mix quite nicely for the chorus. 

I think it's a great track and my comments on the vocal are my opinion and maybe not everybody's. I look forward to hearing more from you. Keep up the good work.

Sam

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

Hi Adam

First of all I like the songwriting. The verses are a good support for the chorus which is the real star. The who gave who/who saved who is great and the payoff line with the title wraps it up nicely. The melody here in the chorus is at its best. There is a yearning quality which I put down mostly to the vocal but I think the way the melody is going helps give it this feeling.

There is a fragility to the sound which has a kind of appeal but don't know if it's what you're after really or just a side-effect of the mix. If it is what you're after then you've cracked it....otherwise i think you want to get fatter somehow and a bit less exposed. Those tinny guitar notes are especially thin-sounding.

I think that you need something other than guitars to add to your songs so dig out some other instruments and have a go. I bet you'll be surprised and hooked on some of the things you come up with.

The verse lyric has its merits and i understand that you're after integrity and meaning rather than flow but do think that there could be some compromise reached where the clunkiness is ironed out a bit. It is rather awkward-sounding in parts. The chorus lyric is working just fine which is more important but...

Anyway, enjoyed this latest creation, and good to see you getting the hang of the song-making process a bit more.

I like the song itself which is ultimately the important thing isn't it?

Your points...

1. I think the lyric message is fine and anyway, for me personally, it doesn't need the story explanation for it to work.
2. The build is good. The shift to the chorus was always going to work here anyway. I didn't lose interest but agree with Tom that a greater contrast musically in the middle 8 would work wonders...it should take us away for a bit....some reflection or something...which gives more power to the song and the listener more satisfaction when it comes back in.
3. Final chorus is fine.
4. Like (some of) the others I'm enjoying the feeling in your vocals...a little more confidence in the delivery perhaps...more practice will do it no doubt!

[PaulAds]

Adam, you did such a great job of this...from picking up on the fab story, to getting the lyrics nailed down so well...and then making it into the finished song i'm listening to now.

i loved it.

on top of that, you've made such a great contribution to the forum