[Ryan98]

This is my first ever song, and would love some tips or advise on how to improve it. The backing track is available to listen to below, and the lyrics are not finished yet.

https://soundcloud.com/ryan-yon-368901241/change-of-mind

Change of Mind

Walking through watching life making truth to you.
Having faith in decisions, watching them faced by others.
I need new places to go, to find myself in this continuous world.

I’m changing life to make it through, making risks to keep it true.
Thinking I should change for others, but not making my own decisions,
Breaking my dream into shards to make others happy, my,
Change of mind…

My life has had highs moving fast, and lows moving slowly.
I was aiming high, now my past burns in my mind.
Changing through futures, making the wrong decisions for others close to my heart.
Closing eyes making dreams, living in the streams of hell.

‘Messing around’ he said while deciding my future, I tried to make it right, satisfying his right.
But I couldn’t move on
The Change of Mind…
 

[den]

I think if you want any sort of critique on this you should put a vocal track to the music on soundcloud, the music on soundcloud gives no idea of how the lyrics should sound, and the lyrics do seem a bit complicated for the music. I think if you put them together it would be so much easier to help you evaluate this song.
that's not a criticism of the lyrics or the music, I just feel that to hear the song would be so much easier.

[Ryan98]

I think if you want any sort of critique on this you should put a vocal track to the music on soundcloud, the music on soundcloud gives no idea of how the lyrics should sound, and the lyrics do seem a bit complicated for the music. I think if you put them together it would be so much easier to help you evaluate this song.
that's not a criticism of the lyrics or the music, I just feel that to hear the song would be so much easier.

Much agreed, I thought of this after listening to it a few times. Thanks