[Paulski]

Hi Guys

Some old school country (I think!) a la Jim Reeves.
Tried a different technique (for me) using the bridge melody line for the motif. Hope it works.
Lots of tweaks to do but thought I'd get some feedback from my learned friends

thanks in advance!
Paul

https://soundcloud.com/paulcanuck/put-those-memories-away

update: now in finished songs section

Put Those Memories Away
Copyright (c) 2015 Tennyson Road Music

Put those memories away
Hide them where they can't be found
It's hard to see you in this pain
And to hear you cry in vain
Every time you take them out

Put those thoughts of loving him
Back into their secret place
I won't ask you to forget
I just wish your heart would let you
Put those memories away

Put those memories away
Keep them hidden out of sight
Oh, I know it seems unfair
To leave him lying there
But I need you here tonight

You laid a white carnation on his grave
Said that goodbye was gonna be your last
But you're reminded of him every day
And I find you loving in the past

So put those thoughts of you and him
Back into your secret place
I won't ask you to forget
I just wish your heart would let you
Put those memories away

--------------

You laid a white carnation on his grave
And that goodbye was gonna be your last
But you're reminded of him every day
And I find you loving in the past

So put those memories away
Keep them in your sacred place
I'll never ask you to forget
But I hope your heart can let you
Put those memories away

I'll never ask you to forget
I only hope your heart can let you
Put those memories away

[Wicked Deeds]

Lovely story telling and melody. it's a hard one to critique - simply achieves what you have set out to do. An enchanting song indeed!

Paul

[pompeyjazz]

Hi Paulski,

Yes, lovely country ballad - Very Jim Reeves as you say. I really like it

John

[olivergearing]

Hey Paul

Another corker from you...

The verse has really great melodic variation, and the piano call and response is really really great.

The first note in the chorus is a great suspension which really drives interest and satisfaction when resolved, great stuff.

A couple of thoughts - perhaps lose the key change the end, I don't think it needs it.

Also the horn solo in the middle sounds a bit too fake, could you do on piano, or perhaps get a real live player to record it?

Please ignore at will, this song is great as is!!

[Paulski]

Lovely story telling and melody. it's a hard one to critique - simply achieves what you have set out to do. An enchanting song indeed!

Paul

Thanks so much Paul - means a lot coming from you

[Paulski]

Hi Paulski,

Yes, lovely country ballad - Very Jim Reeves as you say. I really like it

John

Thanks John - glad there is still some appetite for old styles.

Paul

[Paulski]

Hey Paul

Another corker from you...

The verse has really great melodic variation, and the piano call and response is really really great.

The first note in the chorus is a great suspension which really drives interest and satisfaction when resolved, great stuff.

A couple of thoughts - perhaps lose the key change the end, I don't think it needs it.

Also the horn solo in the middle sounds a bit too fake, could you do on piano, or perhaps get a real live player to record it?

Please ignore at will, this song is great as is!!

Cheers Oliver - appreciated the kind words! Yeah - the key change is 50/50 for me. It also needs an introduction to sell it better -  I'm going to try that first - might still drop it
The acclaimed Viscount has given me some tips on making that solo more "real" sounding so I'll have a go at that. Until a horn player steps forward it might have to do...

Thanks for the detailed comments!
Paul

[tboswell]

Lovely song Paul, as usually. Just instantly classy!

Lots to love, beautiful lyrics with a sentiment that is easily relatable to. Couple of things occur on listening, obviously the mix is rough and the horns are a bit harsh, but I am not sure I like that first horn line that begins the song and when it reoccurs. Everything else is pretty nice in the arrangement bar, especially love when you get chromatic lines in the strings and brass. They are superb.

I was slightly surprised by the key change. I am kinda expect one from you but it didn't come when I expected (2.31) but about 15-20 secs later. When it did, it didn't quite work for me harmonically and think you might need to do something to make it feel more natural IMHO.

Of course all that is just fiddly first thoughts, overall it is already a very beautiful thing.

Tom.

[Paulski]

Lovely song Paul, as usually. Just instantly classy!

Lots to love, beautiful lyrics with a sentiment that is easily relatable to. Couple of things occur on listening, obviously the mix is rough and the horns are a bit harsh, but I am not sure I like that first horn line that begins the song and when it reoccurs. Everything else is pretty nice in the arrangement bar, especially love when you get chromatic lines in the strings and brass. They are superb.

I was slightly surprised by the key change. I am kinda expect one from you but it didn't come when I expected (2.31) but about 15-20 secs later. When it did, it didn't quite work for me harmonically and think you might need to do something to make it feel more natural IMHO.

Of course all that is just fiddly first thoughts, overall it is already a very beautiful thing.

Tom.

Hi Tom
Thanks so much for listening and the kind comments.
..and of course the good advice!
Uploaded a new mix last night to SC.
I did redo that intro -  hopefully sounds more "real" than before but until I get a horn player ...
Fixed up the key change a bit too - it was starting with the wrong chord before. I know it won't be to everyone's liking but the lyrics are pretty samey at that point and I'm just trying to add a bit more interest.

Thanks again - and to all who commented and helped here.
I'm moving this to the finished songs section and locking this thread:

http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/song-reviews/put-those-memories-away-10325/

Paul