'Change of Mind' First ever song in progress

  • 5 Replies
  • 1165 Views

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Ryan98

  • *
  • Busker
  • *
  • Posts: 9
« on: December 05, 2015, 09:56:02 PM »
This is the first ever song I have written, I have looked at some tips on how not to use too many 'then' 'the' 'and' ect. I was hoping for some feedback on what could be improved :)


Walking through watching life making truth to you.
Having faith in decisions, watching them faced by others.
I need new places to go, to find myself in this continuous world.

I’m changing life to make it through, making risks to keep it true.
Thinking I should change for others, but not making my own decisions, breaking my dream into shards to make others at heart happy, my,
Change of mind…

Has highs moving fast, lows moving slowly.
I was aiming high, now my past burns my mind.

Ryan98

  • *
  • Busker
  • *
  • Posts: 9
« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2015, 11:21:54 PM »
Updated Version (WIP)

Walking through watching life making truth to you.
Having faith in decisions, watching them faced by others.
I need new places to go, to find myself in this continuous world.

I’m changing life to make it through, making risks to keep it true.
Thinking I should change for others, but not making my own decisions, breaking my dream into shards to make others at heart happy, my,
Change of mind…

My life has had highs moving fast, and lows moving slowly.
I was aiming high, now my past burns in my mind.
Changing through futures, making the wrong decisions for others close to my heart.
Closing eyes making dreams, living in the streams of hell.

‘Messing around’ he said while deciding my future, I tried to make it right, satisfying his right, but I couldn’t move on.
The Change of Mind…

pompeyjazz

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3412
  • pompeyjazz
« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2015, 11:26:59 PM »
Hi Ryan. Good lyrics man. Is there any music as well. Btw welcome to the forum. Enjoy the vibe  :)

Ryan98

  • *
  • Busker
  • *
  • Posts: 9
« Reply #3 on: December 05, 2015, 11:53:55 PM »
Thanks, no music as of now. I am in the progress of learning guitar, so hopefully I can put something together soon!

Ryan98

  • *
  • Busker
  • *
  • Posts: 9
« Reply #4 on: December 06, 2015, 10:58:37 AM »
Latest update to the song so far

Walking through watching life making truth to you.
Having faith in decisions, watching them faced by others.
I need new places to go, to find myself in this continuous world.

I’m changing life to make it through, making risks to keep it true.
Thinking I should change for others, but not making my own decisions, breaking my dream into shards to make others at heart happy, my,
Change of mind…

My life has had highs moving fast, and lows moving slowly.
I was aiming high, now my past burns in my mind.
Changing through futures, making the wrong decisions for others close to my heart.
Closing eyes making dreams, living in the streams of hell.

‘Messing around’ he said while deciding my future, I tried to make it right, satisfying his right, but I couldn’t move on.
The Change of Mind…

Ryan98

  • *
  • Busker
  • *
  • Posts: 9
« Reply #5 on: December 06, 2015, 01:22:22 PM »
Another update. The backing track for the song has been made

https://soundcloud.com/ryan-yon-368901241/change-of-mind

Tell me what you think :)