[schahinmusic]

Hi Guys,

I was wondering what you think about my song ''Your Love Is Plastic''. It has been critized a bit for its lyrics. What parts are good and which lines would you change? Always grateful for feedback. Here are the lyrics:


Your Love is Plastic
(verse)
have you always been so ferocious?
or was i tricked by fake emotions?
get out my sight,
want you out of my mind
aurevoir! sans moi! ( french)

has my mind always been that flexible
I was blind and you were just terrible
but now I'm glad to see the back of you
au revoir, casse toi!

(Prechorus)
And now you recognize I'm blessing in disguise?
Why did you have add fuel to the fire ?
stay where you are, don't you dare turn around
don't you dare turn around now!

(Chorus)
Cause your love
is plastic, I don't want to stay
I'm going home
I didn't come to ertertain
you were wrong
when you said our love is gold
cause plastic's not useful
Who is the one who has to fall_

(Verse)
Have you ever thought about things that went wrong?
its getting tough and you're hiding behind walls
let your mind speak cause there's no repeat
its over, o-over

(Prechorus)
(Chorus)

(Bridge)
Disappointment hurts and lets
my feelings become such a mess
When I'm mad I don't know myself
don't know myself..

(Chorus)

[Miguelrye89]

So far so good, honestly. Go me bough I think a lot of the issues I had were just the choice of adjectives! I feel, instead of "plastic" maybe "artificial"? You should play around with the synonyms of words and see what flows better, think of it as a vision. To me, plastic is too boring of a word. But to read "artificial" I feel it really would capture the reader. Especially with a title like "artificial love". You do have a story here which is good! And the structure, to me, is great as well! In the verses though I would play around with the synonym of words, "flexible" etc.. Other than that I enjoyed it!

[Sing4me88]

I think there's something here in the concept but the lyric is very much a rough diamond. I think the plastic love is fine - better IMHO than artificial. However the title 'Your love is plastic' is kinda jarring - 'Plastic Love' seems more snappy and straight to the point title and hook wise. I live the second verse and the changing up a little of the rhyming scheme to keep things interesting - ie rhyming blind with mind. There's some creative rhyming that's kinda fresh - ferocious and emotions being a good example.

I think the chorus needs revisiting - it lacks hook and seems to be an anti-climax. If you can get a bit of repetition and more hook in he chorus it would help grab attention a title better.