[Jambrains]

This is a first, rough draft where I have mainly been working with the arrangement/instrumentation and overall "sound". It all started out with some wonderful lyrics from hardtwistmusic that he was kind enough to allow me to add the music to. As I said, this is a demo so everything is scratch tracks at the moment, never mind the untightness and sloppy playing incuding the so-so vocals, all that will be taken care of.
I would appreciate any input on arrangement/instrumentation/progressions etx before I start finalizing and re-recording everything properly.

https://soundcloud.com/jambrains/the-prison-of-time/s-hbIEf

       The Prison  (The Denial of Death)

VERSE 1.  
Desperate fear is a prison.  And false hope is a cage.
Fearfully we look away from death at every age.  
Hard to tell the difference between desperate fear and rage.    
With so many frightened actors on a slowly spinning stage.                                                          

CHORUS:  
Stone walls do  ---  not a prison make.  Nor iron bars a cage.    
Time is the only prison from which we can’t escape.
Shackles of the inevitable.   Chains we cannot see.  
The hands of time  –  the end of life,   -   relentless certainty.  

VERSE 2.  
Denial is our sanctuary from death and fear and time.    
We seldom  recognize the trap, this irony sublime.
Fear entombs the souls of men.  Eternity’s a game.
But in spite of all our fearful struggles, life ends just the same.  

CHORUS:  
Stone walls do not a prison make...  Nor iron bars a cage.  
Death is the only boundary whose bonds we cannot break.  
Shackles of the inevitable......   chains we cannot see.  
The hands of time  –  the end of life,   -  relentless certainty.  

BRIDGE:    
The denial of death.  The death of denial.  
Consumed by fear,  no lawyer for the trial.  
Trapped inside our fear of life.   Consumed by fear of death.    
Detained inside a life that always finds that final breath.  

VERSE 3.
You know the moving finger writes, and having writ, moves on.  
We fear the great inevitable when life is finally gone.  
Fear of death is a prison, and false hope is a cage.  
Death will be the final act and all the world’s a stage.    

CHORUS:  
Stone walls do not a prison make...  Nor iron bars a cage.  
Time is the only prison from which we can’t escape.
Shackles of the inevitable......   Chains we cannot see.
The hands of time  –  the end of life,   -   relentless certainty.  

[Sing4me88]

I think there is something here fo'sure. It doesn't waste any time getting in your face and packs a real kick form the go but there's a nice come down in the 2nd verse with the subtle piano. I thought the guitars were a little too big and loud in the chorus to the fact that I felt the vocal was struggling to get through - something I imagine can be easily fixed in the mix/mastering. I like the vocal in this one. At times - particularly in the bridge - it sounded quite Shane McGowan like.

[hardtwistmusic]

You already know I love the music.  It's getting better and a little darker since I heard it last.  I'm sure that's the right direction. 

[olivergearing]

BOOOOM!

Love the Jambrains sound, really enjoyed listening to this on my way to work

Loves:

The piano in the second verse, really brings an element of tenderness to a quite heavy track
The lyrics!!
The chorus melody is beautiful
The chord underneath "Chains" in the chorus, gives me goosebumps when it comes around...

Suggestions:

1. The triplet feel in the drums sometimes doesn't feel like it locks in with the rhythms of the guitars (best example in the opening section, something feels slightly off)
2. It might be good to try and make a bigger difference in dynamics between verse and chorus to give it more impact (although I'm listening on iPhone speakers, so may be totally wrong)
3. Could you get some epic Backing Vocals in here? Definitely in the chorus!

Can't wait to hear the final track mate...

[MartiMedia]

Hi Jambrains and HTM,

Loved this one! Immediately recognized your signature
Jambrains sound bro! What an instrumental!
Beautiful lyrics Verlon!
Likes:
-The chord progressions in the verses/bridge
-Phaser sound in the guitars
-Sound of the instrumental/production
-Tight timing
Could improve (in my ears):
-A strong hook in melody in the chorus
-Quite long, I'd try to cut till max 04'30''
Well done guys!!
-Add some backvox here and there

MM

[adamfarr]

My favourite part musically was the solo from 3'04" - not so much for the guitar (though great sound as ever) but for the heavy bass riff. When the heavier guitars from the intro come back in around 4'08" that also felt on the money to me and the synth sounded really good (churchy of course!). I'm not a metal head but I'd like more of that heavier style instead of the ballady piano parts.

Love the lyrics, that almost goes without saying.

[hardtwistmusic]

Just one person's input ...  not as the lyric writer, but just as a listener. 

Don't shorten it.  This isn't a song for the faint hearted or the easily bored. 

It's not really a single imo.  It's got a deeper purpose, and the dark, thoughtful music is a part of that purpose. 

Yeah.. it's long.  But most important is that it says all it has to say.  The music between the lyrics is part of that. 

As a listener, I don't necessarily LIKE the length, but I find it necessary. 

Second note.  I took several good, long listens this morning, and I'm more impressed with the music each time I listen. 

The title and some of the lyric is from a Pulitzer Prize winning research study/book by a man named Ernest Becker.  The book is "The Denial of Death."  The thesis of the book and research is that death is sooooooo final, and so inevitable that the only sane way to "deal with death" emotionally is to deny and ignore it. 

The reason I bring this up is that the music takes me instantly to the same place the book "took me to" when I was reading it.  This is perfectly done.  The music is perfect for this lyric and this subject.  I couldn't be more pleased if I wanted to. 

I am sooooooo glad that you changed the chorus to your vision.  Mine did NOT fit the theme.  Thank you. 

[pompeyjazz]

Like it jambrains. Lovely heavy feel drags you in. Keep the length as it is imho. Its a real grower man. Awsome guitar sounds


John

[olivergearing]

Sorry Hardtwist,

Forgot to mention how amazing the lyrics are. I agree that you should keep this more as a concept track.

Awesome work, Awesome collab

[hardtwistmusic]

Sorry Hardtwist,

Forgot to mention how amazing the lyrics are. I agree that you should keep this more as a concept track.

Awesome work, Awesome collab

Hey, to be honest, I didn't notice.  This song is very personal to me, and I have no ego about it.  I'm so pleased that Johan has taken it and made something special of it.  I'm like a little kid at Christmas waiting for it to be finished and to get my instrumental version that I can sing live.  'o)

[shadowfax]

Awesome words from hardtwistmusic..wow!!!
this is so good I don't think it matters how you do it..I love it as is!!!
this could be also done as a gentle but ominous ballad...

love the guitar break..
I don't think you should make this too clean..I like the live feel it has now..

great work..just great!!

best, Kevin

[tboswell]

Lots to love in here, a really thoughtful lyric that is hard to live up to but I think the treatment you have given it is a good one.
It is long but I didn't lose interest at any point so I think it works.

Lot of things I could say about the arrangement but I don't want to nit pick on details cos it is WIP.

Overall the sound is a little muddy and it gives the sound a samey feel where I think you can get contrast in the different sections which changing sound of the bass, guitars etc a little more.
In the heavy section some distortion on the bass might sound nice. I would drop the organ out of the piano backed verse as it seem to obscure the name piano work.

Good song with lots great features to the structure and arrangement. Worth giving it a bit more polish I think 

Tom.

[Neil C]

Guys
Great portentous intro sets the tone for the lyrics. [ i'm a sucker for a great organ, and that sounds mighty, a bit like Styx ]
Like the verse/melody and the bridge. Great Zeppy solo too, although i think i would finish it at 3.28 and give yourself a little space before you come back into the verse.
Just wondered a bit about the chorus chord progression. The chords descend on the 1st, 2nd and 4 lines and go up on the 3rd. If you re-recording I'd be inclined to stry a slightly different order and swap the chords progression between the 2nd and 3rd ones to give it a bit of lift in there. And I know its a demo but the getting the timing spot on will make this really powerful underpinned by bass and bass drum in synch.
Anyway hope this is of some help and look forward to hearing where it ends up.
 
Neil

[Jambrains]

Thanks you all, lots of useful input. Sorry I'm late to answer, work has been a b**** the last few weeks and will probably become worse before getting any better. If anyone is considering a career as an IT-consultant take my and Frankies advice: relax. Don't do it. )
Due to this progress is slow but I'm pretty sure the wait will be well worth it. And yes, backing vox are absoulutely on the to-do list.

Must say I'm relieved by the positive feedback, working with this song was sort of heaven and hell. I could tell the lyrics was important to Verlon and they also struck me at a deep, profound way as well so I really wanted the song to match the lyrics which was a daunting task.I gave up more than once on the way...

I'll me back....

[Jambrains]

OK, I think this is the final version but I'll give it a las spin here before moving it to the completed songs section. Re-recorded quite a few things and been mixing forever or so it seems, pretty happy with it now but I guess there may still be issues I no longer hear e.g. not quite sure about levels at places so any input appreciated.

https://soundcloud.com/jambrains/the-prison-denial-of-death/s-anb5i