[Stan9007]

Finally the the first song is recorded! Thank you for your comments about the lyrics of this song! Without you it couldn't be done!

Now it's time to introduce the final version to you!
Thank you for the feed back!

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https://soundcloud.com/jal-15/girl

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Lyrics

V:
I can't find a reason why
Suddenly grief came to me
Lonely roads that cross the night
Lead me to infinity

Chorus:
Where stars can see
I'm calling you
Please come to me
I am here waiting for you

V:
Twilight covered all the trees
There is no one I can see
Where are you my only bliss
Seems you don't belong to me

[mondobongo]

I liked this from the outset. The guitars caught my attention and the riff/chords was very good. Good lyrics and melody. Nice restrained solo. I liked the heartbeat at the end. Overall a good song with slick production.

[Stan9007]

Mondobongo, thank you for your opinion and for support! It is very important to me!

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

The song has a good feel to it Stan. Some nice guitar work. The sound is good.

The chorus is stronger than I first gave it credit for - not bad at all - quite catchy.

Glad you kept it light....had a horrible fear at one time that it was going to get heavy...an edge in the vocal maybe. Glad it didn't!

Nice one.

[PaulAds]

Hello

very tasteful writing, production, playing and singing on this one...and very accomplished too. My favourite parts were the muted staccato bits in your lead playing. Very nicely done.

there seem to be loads of very good new members joining the ranks lately.

welcome

[Morefrog Jones]

Good production levels to my uneducated ears, has a nice feel to the song with the right level of edge to keep me interested.

[MartiMedia]

Wow Stan,

You're a beginner? What a beautiful production man! Did you record this at home?
Love everything about this song. Great playing and singing! I have absolutely no suggestions
to improve! But it makes me learn a bit more how songs should sound. Epic!!

MM

[olivergearing]

Wo - great playing, singing and writing. This CAN'T be your first production!!

Amazing stuff. Everything from the guitar intro to the swelling vocals in the beautiful chorus sound perfectly placed.

Love the beat too, nice claps (or something) that augments nicely.

Not sure about the guitar solo in the place the second verse would normally be (although it is a great solo).

Yes, that chorus is amazing. Get yourself to 100 posts and this one will win the November song of the month for sure!

[pompeyjazz]

Stan. I love your smooth production and style. How have you achieved this standard as a newbie? However one minor criticism, and totally ignore me if you want to 😊 it just doesn't seem to have that hook.

Cheers

John

[Stan9007]

Wow, thank you guys! I wasn't prepared to get such a bright reaction from the first post here!
That makes me feel that all the time we spent on this song didn't go in vain!

I'm really glad that you liked it! And, of course, don't be ashamed to post critics because absolutely every your opinion is very important to me!

Well, to answer the question you are almost all concerned about, I will confess that I am the beginner only in writing lyrics! That's the only thing I responsible for. And without your help in lyrics department I couldn't make it right!

The sound is recorded by my friend. He's a musician. He gives me just a stretch of the melody and we start to give life to our new pruduction.

I want to thank  you one more time and say that I appreciate each of you feed back!

Stan

[composer]

Hello !

Ability to make some clarifications:
A little over a year ago, I came to http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk in search of someone who would be able to write the lyrics to the already existing melodies which I have accumulated a large amount and which we would like to show people.
Unfortunately, I could not do that. It affected my poor knowledge of English and suffers poor communication and mutual understanding with the author of the lyrics. Then I asked to do so by Stan9007, which gave advice to appeal to members of the forum to hear the opinion of experienced authors. And the first result is obtained  

As for the musical part, if there are any questions, I'll be happy to answer.

In response to questions - MartiMedia

No, not a beginner, but not professional.
Everything really was recorded in a home studio. (which is why I am pleased with the sound of only 60%)

I am sincerely grateful for all the help.

[Paulski]

Hi Stan

It sounds like you appreciate the feedback that others have given on your songs, but I notice you never seem to reciprocate and review other people's work. It would be nice if you started to do that - it's a two-way street we live on here. 

Best
Paul

[Stan9007]

Hello Paul!

Thank you for the post! You know, I am not native English speaker and I think it wouldn't be very polite if I start to criticize or give advises to some native members! But I read all posts and the forum very attentive!

And I am not sure in my English on 100% to edit somebody's lyrics because I still need somebody to help me to edit mine!

But I will try to fix this thing anyway!

Thank you, Paul for the notification!


Stan