[Sing4me88]

I've tried to write a commercially viable song for a female artist (in fact it's not gender specific but I prefer it for a female!) that wasn't my usual 'bubblegum' Pop. I've tried to blend a Pop feel with singer songwriter feel and come up with something like Ellie Gouldings early stuff (The Writer etc) or Emelie Sande (Next to me). Much harder trying to write something with depth than putting together  few buzz words for bubblegum Pop and I'm not sure if I missed the mark or if I'm even close to it!

Anyway the song is a reverse of the 'it's not you, it's me' and I thought wouldn't it be great to reverse that odious line and show how good another person can make us feel when in love

All constructive feedback welcome!

Baby it’s you  (©Hearty 2013)
V1
There’s only one person who lifts me up, lifts me up,
So high I can’t fall,
That’s the person who makes me feel, makes me feel,
Ten thousand feet tall,
No mountain too high I can’t climb, no river too dry I can’t swim

PC
They make me see,
The good in me,
Make me believe,
There’s good in me

C
B-b-baby it’s you,
Devil on my shoulder making me bolder,
Twinkle in my eye when I start to fly,
B-b-baby it’s you,
A voice that says today is your day,
Don’t let anything stand in your way,
Baby, baby it’s you

V2
I know they can take me away, take me away,
Flying above the clouds,
No matter what they’ll keep me safe, keep me safe,
From the baying crowd
Now they are taking me higher, taking me higher,
Than I’ve ever been

PC
Now I can see,
The good in me,
Now I believe,
There’s good in me

C
B-b-baby it’s you,
Devil on my shoulder making me bolder,
Twinkle in my eye when I start to fly,
B-b-baby it’s you,
A voice that says today is your day,
Don’t let anything stand in your way,
Baby, baby it’s you

B
Baby it’s not me,
Oh baby it’s you,
That makes me feel this way,
You make me feel this way,
You make me feel this way

C
B-b-baby it’s you,
Devil on my shoulder making me bolder,
Twinkle in my eye when I start to fly,
B-b-baby it’s you,
A voice that says today is your day,
Don’t let anything stand in your way,
Baby, baby it’s you

[jackit99]

ther's a few bits here the same as the originall by the shirlles its a 1961 song !
 

[Jess]

I'm going to be really honest here...I really REALLY like those verses but that chorus...I'm afraid it's very cheesy- maybe it's just me? The way it rhymes it just feels so...out of the place in the song. The verses and prechorus are full of emotion and very emeli sande (LOVE her) and the chorus is like downgrading to Cheryl cole (no offence if anyone likes her music but its all just commercial pop) I see so much potential in this (I mean...those verses are perfection!) please just look at that chorus again!

[Sing4me88]

Thanks for the feedback.

I'll re-look at the chorus and try to take some of the cheese out of it and give it more emotion. If I'm honest I'll prob keep the 'B-b-baby' as it adds hook (even if it does give it that Cheryl Cole feel!) but I think the other lines could be tweaked to make them more emotional and less cringe worthy!

Thanks for pointing out that there is already a song in this title Jackit (I was totally oblivious to this). To be honest I've read the lyrics and don't see any striking similarities whatsoever apart form both having 'Baby it's you' which are both featured differently in each song. I don't think that detracts from the originality of these lyrics at all.Does Kesah C'mon detract from the originality of any other song with c'mon in it?

[BooBoo]

I think I have to agree with Jess on this. The verses and ore chorus are really good and very strong howeve the chorus isn't anything special I don't think. Could be catchy, yes but I'm not sure how well it would work. Either way it is a good song.

I like the line "no river to dry that I can't swim" I like the meaning behind that!

[Sing4me88]

Thanks for the feedback Jess and Boo. I'm trying to get a chorus that will be both catchy and emotional but it's elusive at the moment. I've kinda tinkered with a few words and I've tried to take the cheese out of it and invest a little emotion whilst trying to keep it catchy. I'm actually thinking of ditching the B-b-baby bit and going with something along the lines of:

Oh baby, oh baby it’s you,
When I take to flight I can feel it inside,
Letting me know everything’s alright
Oh baby, oh baby it’s you,
The voice that says today is your day,
Let me take you all the way,
Oh baby, oh baby it’s you

[Kevin j]

Oh baby, oh baby it’s you,
When I take to flight I can feel it inside,
Letting me know everything’s alright
Oh baby, oh baby it’s you,
The voice that says today is your day,
Let me take you all the way,
Oh baby, oh baby it’s you

To be honest i think thsy chorus is as cheesier than the other.

The verses are really good though, the chorus will come to you anyway, dont settle on what you've got 

good writing,
Kevin

[benjo]

 hi there sing4me88,

 loved verse 1
 i think a little bit of tweeking
 and you've got something
 don't give up with it it is good stuff
 i liked the dry river clever...