konalavadome

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1
Collaborations / Full Band Collab Project Seeked
« Last post by Modestmouse1965/ on Today at 02:56:38 AM »
https://soundcloud.com/user-335183051/enemy

Hi my name is Stevy. My friend and i wrote a bunch of demos in 2006 so i recently thought that i should get them out there for feedback. These demos were recorded in my kitchen with cheap gear and not a lot of production knowledge. I cant play drums so I programmed all drums with how i heard them in my head but have not got a clue how to think like a drummer.The same is true with the keyboard,Lead guitar and very basic Bass parts. My friend and i played all the parts of each song to the best of our ability. I feel i am not a bad rhythm guitar player so quite happy to re-record the rhythm guitar myself. I am not a great singer so will be considering finding a singer also.  I hope you guys can hear what i am trying to achieve in each demo as i will be uploading around 12 of them through time. My plan is to collaborate with a drummer bass player lead guitarist and keyboard player to eventually re-record all 12 songs.

                             Enemy                                                   
v1
you hold head in hands
you're in a nightmare and hiding from the man
and then you wait silently
and you're watching all the screaming and the agony
and the blood runs down the walls
and cling to life until the bleeding goes
and then they twist you until theres nothing left
and theyre trying to force the air out should you all forget

ch
its like money you can keep it
you can steal it if you want to feel it
tastes like honey seeping
Running From the enemy
Running From the enemy

v2
if you remember when
the voices sealed the cracks and you believed in them
when the sea breathes and had enough
and the storys finally over cos it got too rough
when you feel things are better
and theres nothing left to fear and it really doesnt matter
and when you know its doomed to fail
and you sit in mental prison running off the rails
                                                 
ch
its like money you can keep it
you can steal it if you want to feel it
tastes like honey seeping
Running From the enemy
Running From the enemy
                                               
bridge
and then like drowned rats they drag you home
and then they shower you with stones
and then the venom starts to foam
and your alone       
alone

v3
and then the time gone that you messed up
the people that you cared for are in an empty cup
and love dead and burning off your skin
and then you realise it theres nothing left win
and when the truth hurts and grinds your bones
nowhere left to go and so they drag you home
and when the hunger grabs and noone understands
you give in to the dollar you hold there in your hand
 
ch
its like money you can keep it
you can steal it if you want to feel it
tastes like honey seeping
Running From the enemy
Running From the enemy   x2 to fade
2
Feedback on Works in Progress / Re: 2nd demo feedback required cheers
« Last post by redrhodie on Today at 01:05:56 AM »
Man Stevy, from what you wrote, I was pretty sure this song was going to suck, and it's really great.

First if all, your singing is awesome. Totally powerful and not held back. Great rock tone. I bet one or two of the guys on this forum would give a limb to be able to sing like that. I think you should stop thinking of finding someone else. Sing your songs. It works.

You're right to rerecord this. Even I can tell the production needs work. I am not qualified to offer advice on that, but hopefully you'll get some. It's a great song and worth the time and effort to do it right.

Programmed drums are pretty standard. Hardly anyone here records live drums. If you're actually going to that, you should probably record in a studio. It's really hard to record drums. I learned that the hard way. You're better off letting a professional do that.

Read and follow the forum posting rules and you'll get some great advice from way more qualified people than me, in the form of criticism, production, and mixing.  Lots of talented and helpful people here. You'll also find people to collaborate with, who can play and record any instrument you need. Ask questions, ask for help. Someone always answers.

Oh, one more thing. You put this in works in progress, which tends to get less action than finished songs. I'm not sure why that is, but if you review some songs and still don't get anything here, try posting it there.

Hope this helps,
Lynn
3
Feedback on Works in Progress / Re: Myself (Demo)
« Last post by Modestmouse1965/ on Today at 12:41:54 AM »
Would love to hear a full band playing this. I can hear drums bursting in and harmony vocals on the repeat choruses. will keep listening with interest as this song progresses. Cheers.

looking for feedback on this demo also cheers
https://soundcloud.com/user-335183051/enemy
4
https://soundcloud.com/user-335183051/enemy

Hi my name is Stevy. My friend and i wrote a bunch of demos in 2006 so i recently thought that i should get them out there for feedback. These demos were recorded in my kitchen with cheap gear and not a lot of production knowledge. I cant play drums so I programmed all drums with how i heard them in my head but have not got a clue how to think like a drummer.The same is true with the keyboard,Lead guitar and very basic Bass parts. My friend and i played all the parts of each song to the best of our ability. I feel i am not a bad rhythm guitar player so quite happy to re-record the rhythm guitar myself. I am not a great singer so will be considering finding a singer also.  I hope you guys can hear what i am trying to achieve in each demo as i will be uploading around 12 of them through time. My plan is to collaberate with a drummer bass player lead guitarist and keyboard player to eventually re-record all 12 songs.

                             Enemy                                                   
v1
you hold head in hands
you're in a nightmare and hiding from the man
and then you wait silently
and you're watching all the screaming and the agony
and the blood runs down the walls
and cling to life until the bleeding goes
and then they twist you until theres nothing left
and theyre trying to force the air out should you all forget

ch
its like money you can keep it
you can steal it if you want to feel it
tastes like honey seeping
Running From the enemy
Running From the enemy

v2
if you remember when
the voices sealed the cracks and you believed in them
when the sea breathes and had enough
and the storys finally over cos it got too rough
when you feel things are better
and theres nothing left to fear and it really doesnt matter
and when you know its doomed to fail 
and you sit in mental prison running off the rails
                                                 
ch
its like money you can keep it
you can steal it if you want to feel it
tastes like honey seeping
Running From the enemy
Running From the enemy
                                               
bridge
and then like drowned rats they drag you home
and then they shower you with stones
and then the venom starts to foam
and your alone       
alone

v3
and then the time gone that you messed up
the people that you cared for are in an empty cup
and love dead and burning off your skin
and then you realise it theres nothing left win
and when the truth hurts and grinds your bones
nowhere left to go and so they drag you home
and when the hunger grabs and noone understands
you give in to the dollar you hold there in your hand
 
ch
its like money you can keep it
you can steal it if you want to feel it
tastes like honey seeping
Running From the enemy
Running From the enemy   x2 to fade
5
@Girlinside Katie, check out the great reviews, hope you’re liking the final version.
:-)
Neil
6
Lyrics / Re: All of us suffer for Love
« Last post by Sterix on Yesterday at 10:12:30 PM »
Actually, I found it really easy to see a tune for this, probably because of the way I tend to write songs myself.

Love the lyrics. The only line I would possibly look at is this one:

"She'll abandon her roots first sign of any roots, restless for the road"

It's the roots/roots rhyme. I know it's not a total no-no to rhyme the same word but it just feels with the level of these lyrics that it comes across a little... lazy? Perhaps you could replace the second "roots" with "shoots"? That's just a quick idea and wouldn't really change the meaning of the line either. Just a thought.

Nice song though.
7
Lyrics / Revenge
« Last post by Girlinside on Yesterday at 10:08:29 PM »
Revenge

Everybody’s talking about the new girl at school
already she’s starting to break the rules

there’s a glint in her eye that I find cool
I daren’t tell my parents they’ll go berserk

but I’m so intrigued, I wanna be pals
to go where she goes and do as she does

I wanna break from the establishment
this crusty old life is strangling my soul
I need some excitement to make me whole

Everybody’s talking about the new girl at school
already she’s starting to break the rules

Let’s break the rules of society
I wanna trouble to be my priority

I wanna give the world the finger
I’m not gonna linger on the edge no more

Everybody’s talking about the new girl at school
already she’s starting to break the rules

my daddies talking about stopping my allowance
he can’t see the pain in my eyes
I’m doing it to hurt him , it’s pay back time

there’s a glint in her eye that I find cool
I daren’t tell my parents they’ll go berserk

Soon they’ll all be talking about me
Soon they’ll all be talking about me
Soon they’ll all be talking about me
Soon they’ll all be talking about me

Oh daddy , oh daddy , oh daddy






 
8
Feedback on Works in Progress / Re: Lyrics on a Classical Piece
« Last post by Girlinside on Yesterday at 09:51:22 PM »
Wrote this as I listened to it

Along the waters edge , Along the waters edge ,
Along the waters edge , Along the waters edge ,
butterflies and dandelions , butterflies and dandelions
Along the waters edge , Along the waters edge ,
Along the waters edge , Along the waters edge ,
drifting slowly, drifting slowly -
otters swimming , Kingfishers diving
rabbits running , foxes cunning 

Along the waters edge , Along the waters edge ,
Along the waters edge , Along the waters edge ,
butterflies and dandelions , butterflies and dandelions

otters swimming , Kingfishers diving
rabbits running , foxes cunning

and god is here and god is here
so do not fear

Along the waters edge , Along the waters edge ,
Along the waters edge , Along the waters edge ,
butterflies and dandelions , butterflies and dandelions
Along the waters edge , Along the waters edge ,





9
Lyrics / Remember me
« Last post by Girlinside on Yesterday at 09:37:52 PM »
Remember me

When the music plays and the sorrow stops for a second
will you look into my eyes
and see my sadness
will you see how hard I tried ?

Will you see my pain ?
without me having to explain
and as the train pulls into the station
will you let me go to my final destination

When you stand by my grave
will you try to be brave
and as you wipe  the tears away
will you smile for me , knowing I’m no longer a slave to my gender

and as you lie in the darkness of the night
will you be happy for me that I’m free

and when you hear my favourite tunes
remember the good times
and the lines of poetry that I wrote

so please don’t be sad
I’m off to meet my Dad
as he sits in his shed , smoking his old Holborn
Remember me , remember me
10
Feedback on Works in Progress / Re: Need some help
« Last post by Girlinside on Yesterday at 09:19:32 PM »
Listened to a bit and wrote this

Scream scream

Scream scream - scream scream
there’s no in between
in the life we live

you ask forgiveness
from the top table
but you’re not able to forgive yourself

Scream scream - scream scream
there’s no in between
in the life we live

the dreams we have are reality
the life we live are just insane

if you aren’t dining on the top table
you’re left with labels that smell of scum
and you’ll never see the sun on birthdays

Scream scream - scream scream
there’s no in between
in the life we live

we all seek the door way to new life
but do we all want kids and wives

I’m not crazy , I’m not crazy
but need to scream , need to scream

Scream scream - scream scream
there’s no in between
in the life we live

Fades

Arghhhhh , arghhh
Arghhhhh , arghhh
Arghhhhh , arghhh
Arghhhhh , arghhh
Arghhhhh , arghhh
Arghhhhh , arghhh










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