The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Lyrics => Topic started by: Vintage54 on November 28, 2014, 09:47:11 PM
-
I wrote this with Townes van Zandt in mind, and paulski, cause i know he likes a joyful song.
Texas Desperado
Just like a free flowing river
You found it hard to stand still
You had a hunger inside you
That no easy chair could fill
You'd untie your boots for the ladies
But you'd never unpack
And just when they thought that they'd tamed you
You'd walk and you'd never look back
You walked the high wire with no safety
Both ends of the candle were burned
You pushed your luck with each throw of the dice
And with every card that you turned
You were high on a line most of the time
Or high on a bottle of booze
You found too many blues in the real world
I suppose they helped you to lose
Trying to find ways to describe you
It's hard to know where to begin
You were a poet and you were an outlaw
Who never turned himself in
Your weapons of choice were a six string guitar
And a voice like a lonesome blues harp
And some songs that could kill just like bullets
That you delivered straight to the heart
And you were afraid of closing your eyes
Cause that's when the demons would call
And all of your sweet dreams were stampeded
When the nightmares kicked down the wall
Trying to find ways to describe you
It's hard to know where to begin
You were a poet and you were an outlaw
Who never turned himself in
And you never lost the charisma
Even when your best days were through
You'd walk in a room like a magnet
And the hypnotised eyes followed you
But your stride was beginning to shorten
And the hard living finally caught up
But even then you had to play one more hand
Till finally you ran out of luck
Trying to find ways to describe you
It's hard to know where to begin
You were a poet and you were an outlaw
Who never turned himself in.
-
Vintage, If i wore one I'd raise my hat to you.
Top stuff
:)
Neil
-
Thanks man!
Let me buy you a hat.
Vintage54
-
Top notch once again Vintage!
Love some of those near rhymes - the ladies/tamed you - who'd-a-thought of that besides you!
And it's one metaphor after another - I'm lucky if I can think of one per song!
From your intro though I was hoping for a happy ending - should have known better ;D ;D
Paul
-
HEY VINTAGE
got it all going on in this stunning lyric
its great when you read a lyric and the story just comes off the page
a good beginning / middle / and end you did this so well ( PAT ON THE BACK )
some very very clever lines in here
and you have a real nice way of putting your words
that give the read a little something special
a lovely lyric to be proud of well done
look forward to hearing this
tony
-
the order the description
all fantastic
i enjoy it
good job :)
-
Cracking song Vintage. Seems churlish to pick any holes in such a good lyric, but I wonder of you could have varied the 'trying to find ways...' with two new lines on the second time around.
That would. of course, involve finding two new ways to describe someone we already decided is hard to describe. Nonetheless, it's the nearest thing to a flaw I can see in the whole of this gorgeous piece so I thought I'd flag it up.
Otherwise, as I said, cracking :)
-
This is great even sung it off the page as reading