The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Introductions => Topic started by: B4N3M4N on December 16, 2013, 12:51:12 PM
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I consider myself to be an intellectual with various mental abilities...but ultimately it is all about creativity.
My favorite/strongest area is within the literary category and thus i can identify myself with authors.
Having patience for trying to write a book with several hundred pages is not in my interest. Writing lyrics? Yes, that seems much more interesting and fun. Lyrics are short and vary.
I have not much experience within the art of lyrics itself...i know a lyric contain verses and chorus. Heeeh!
Mutual interest would be desired, if i could develop or collaborate within the area of lyrics.
Only once have i tried to write lyrics: it was during a visit in the U.S.A. and all of a sudden i felt like testing to write lyrics. I called a local musicshop over the phone and asked for directions. The person told me to rhyme. So...during two weeks i wrote 52 different double A4-paged lyrics ( i tried to vary the form of rhyming, etc. as to avoid being unilateral...and i always tried to use simple english as to cater to a supposed audience. )
Contacting the musicshop again, the person told me over the phone that i had to shorten each lyric down to an A4-page. Baaaah! So, i did! And then....i copyrighted my 52 lyrics with the "Library Of Congress" 1993.
I consider myself to have potential mental abilities, mostly literal ( but not only - i have also dealt with innovations and creating puzzles ), but i am not sure where or how to start to utilize it commercially?
Baloban@spray.se
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You've told us how good you are...
Put something up that we can all read and give you some feedback on.
You say you haven't much experience writing lyrics but you've written and copyrighted 52 different lyrics ?
Let's have a read.
Btw - Welcome aboard.
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You've told us how good you are...
Put something up that we can all read and give you some feedback on.
You say you haven't much experience writing lyrics but you've written and copyrighted 52 different lyrics ?
Let's have a read.
Btw - Welcome aboard.
Then that must be misinterpreted.
I do not state that i am good at lyrics, only that i feel comfortable within the literary area.
My literary ability is still to be developed and this means guidelines from a possible collaboration.
In this sense i feel comfortable dealing with anything literary. The biggest issue for me when analyzing a lyric, and this is what i myself perceive as the most important factor, is that the verses must have a continous melodic rhythm from singing/reading...no interruptions in fluidity ( this can´t be so easy, then one should also be assertive within the area of linguistics? ).
When i wrote the 52 lyrics, i did not exactly think of this matter of rhythm at any given moment and therefore i have not also scrutinized any of my 52 ( and only ever ) written lyrics. They were actually written only as a test of my ability...if i could. A content of 104 A4-pages in two weeks is creative enough?
Furthermore, i did not join to show any of my lyrics ( they might be copyrighted, but... ), instead i can do this if anyone choose to contact me by my e-mail for further inquiry. I have photograped all of my current original double A4-paged 52 lyrics as jpeg.-files and they are all compressed to a 3.5Mb RAR-file. Heeeh!
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You've told us how good you are...
Put something up that we can all read and give you some feedback on.
You say you haven't much experience writing lyrics but you've written and copyrighted 52 different lyrics ?
Let's have a read.
Btw - Welcome aboard.
As to somewhat oblige, and then other further inquiries, i decided to just write...something.
Did i tell you that i have twisted humour ( that´s why i like comedians like Jerry Lewis, Will Ferrell and Mel Brooks )? Just me playing around with som words and i did not plan any prior content...just as i go along! As you can see, i wrote, for me, quite a short lyric...just to demonstrate a bit.
Did i write the below lyrics intended as a puzzle? Am i using parables? Just fooling around!
Is that you?
You and i. You and you. I and you. Am i included too?
The eye sees you. Are we hiding? Can you see me? Geeeeeee!
Is that you? You! You! YOUUUUUUUU...HOOOOOOO! Is that you??
Is that you? You! You! YOUUUUUUUU...HOOOOOOO! Is that you??
How can this be? Are we playing hide-and-seek? Is this a game? Are you lame?
Looking around the corner. Scanning the surrounding. Must i be searching? What am i nurturing?
Is that you? You! You! YOUUUUUUUU...HOOOOOOO! Is that you?
Is that you? You! You! YOUUUUUUUU...HOOOOOOO! Is that you?
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This exactly the kind of text in my three year olds children's books.
It's not song lyrics by any stretch but it would fit well into a young child's picture book.
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This exactly the kind of text in my three year olds children's books.
It's not song lyrics by any stretch but it would fit well into a young child's picture book.
Heeeh!
That just shows my childness, which is true! I am a childlish and qurious person...always.
Still, this does not diminish my literary abilities. Like i earlier wrote: i would need guidelines to further develop my lyrics skill.
I feel comfortable within any genre. This is my confidence!
Also...you should not confine yourself to set rules of what content a lyric should contain. I would not! A lyric could have any attribute: sad, happy, dramatic, childlish, storytelling, etc.. The intended audience decides, right? My lyric was just for fun, as i wrote "Just fooling around"! Fool = joke!
PS! Literary ability is not my only mental aptitude!
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You're certainly full of yourself - I give you that.
Hope you find what you're looking for.
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Welcome B4N3M4N
From what im reading your style of writing is coming across to me that you will find writing lyrics very easy also poetry, but my advice to you is post your lyrics if not then the best of luck to you.
Another piece of advice is here as you can see we communicate using the written word, so if and when you do decide to post your lyrics and believe me i really do hope you do, you will receive feedback, my advice is take your time to think on what words you use to reply.
Again Welcome and enjoy the journey, its going to be a long one 8) or then again, maybe a short one 8)
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This exactly the kind of text in my three year olds children's books.
It's not song lyrics by any stretch but it would fit well into a young child's picture book.
Thx!
I hope i am coming across as humble? That is my intention anyway!
But i also understand that it is not always easy to be objective!
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Welcome B4N3M4N
From what im reading your style of writing is coming across to me that you will find writing lyrics very easy also poetry, but my advice to you is post your lyrics if not then the best of luck to you.
Another piece of advice is here as you can see we communicate using the written word, so if and when you do decide to post your lyrics and believe me i really do hope you do, you will receive feedback, my advice is take your time to think on what words you use to reply.
Again Welcome and enjoy the journey, its going to be a long one 8) or then again, maybe a short one 8)
Never liked poetry! I find poetry to be lame...sorry!
Yes, true, i have no bigger problem writing. I can be creative at times! And don´t worry..i always try to be diplomatic by nature, if such occasion arises.
My creativity does not only steam into literature: i have also dealt with innovations ( like trying to get a patent ).
My desire is really not to be or get recognized on a forum itself, but i am more looking for a possible collaboration.
Therefore, i am unsure if i should post any of my written lyrics from 1993. Remember that i am a childlish person ( even though i am an adult - i am just playful by nature ).
I will consider your request and perphaps post one of my 52 lyrics from 1993. But be warned: it can as well be childlish ( actually i just read my first lyric....and i started to laugh on occassions ). I am just a silly man ( but i can conform according to wishes/guidelines ). Heeeeh!
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Welcome B4N3M4N
From what im reading your style of writing is coming across to me that you will find writing lyrics very easy also poetry, but my advice to you is post your lyrics if not then the best of luck to you.
Another piece of advice is here as you can see we communicate using the written word, so if and when you do decide to post your lyrics and believe me i really do hope you do, you will receive feedback, my advice is take your time to think on what words you use to reply.
Again Welcome and enjoy the journey, its going to be a long one 8) or then again, maybe a short one 8)
Never like poetry! I find poetry to be lame...sorry!
Yes, true, i have no bigger problem writing. I can be creative at times! And don´t worry..i always try to be diplomatic by nature, if such occasion arises.
My creativity does not only steam into literature: i have also dealt with innovations ( like trying to get a patent ).
My desire is really not to be or get recognized on a forum itself, but i am more looking for a possible collaboration.
Therefore, i am unsure if i should post any of my written lyrics from 1993. Remember that i am a childlish person ( even though i am an adult - i am just playful by nature ).
I will consider your request and perphaps post one of my 52 lyrics from 1993. But be warned: it can as well be childlish ( actually i just read my first lyric....and i started to laugh on occassions ). I am just a silly man ( but i can conform according to wishes/guidelines ). Heeeeh!
Thanks for your reply may i suggest you start by posting some feedback on this great forum, as a writer of words myself i always find that to be a great help to me as im sure you will yourself.
Welcome to the forum 8)
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Welcome B4N3M4N
From what im reading your style of writing is coming across to me that you will find writing lyrics very easy also poetry, but my advice to you is post your lyrics if not then the best of luck to you.
Another piece of advice is here as you can see we communicate using the written word, so if and when you do decide to post your lyrics and believe me i really do hope you do, you will receive feedback, my advice is take your time to think on what words you use to reply.
Again Welcome and enjoy the journey, its going to be a long one 8) or then again, maybe a short one 8)
Never like poetry! I find poetry to be lame...sorry!
Yes, true, i have no bigger problem writing. I can be creative at times! And don´t worry..i always try to be diplomatic by nature, if such occasion arises.
My creativity does not only steam into literature: i have also dealt with innovations ( like trying to get a patent ).
My desire is really not to be or get recognized on a forum itself, but i am more looking for a possible collaboration.
Therefore, i am unsure if i should post any of my written lyrics from 1993. Remember that i am a childlish person ( even though i am an adult - i am just playful by nature ).
I will consider your request and perphaps post one of my 52 lyrics from 1993. But be warned: it can as well be childlish ( actually i just read my first lyric....and i started to laugh on occassions ). I am just a silly man ( but i can conform according to wishes/guidelines ). Heeeeh!
Thanks for your reply may i suggest you start by posting some feedback on this great forum, as a writer of words myself i always find that to be a great help to me as im sure you will yourself.
Welcome to the forum 8)
Just a few sec. ago i copied my VERY FIRST lyric ever written ( out of my 52 ) in 1993 and this from only having been given the advice over the telephone that i should rhyme. I did not even know what a chorus was.
Here you go...my first lyric ever written...20 years ago ( yes, too much text as i was told also afterwards ):
Grab on to that beat! ( 1993 )
Sipping drinks with scanning eyes, you do! Hey there, do you see something?
Your alert eyes are wide, your heart is beating, your body is tense and shortly
you start coming to a sense.
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Dancing on the floor with wiggleing butts, flinging heads, spasmatic legs and
with jerky arms you are!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
You there, grab on to the small one, the tall one, the slim one, the skinny one,
the fat one, the ugly one, the gorgeous one, grab yourself, but do your dancing
thing! Hey, ugly ones, do not sing!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
We are swetting with thirst, exhausting with pleasure, moving to the beat and
screaming like retards!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Do not step on your partner´s toes, slap someone´s face, behave with disgrace,
but dance as for a race! Dancing like hell, we are! Hey, drinking too much will not
get you dancing too far! Do not just sit at the bar!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Grab on to each other and do the "leg-swing", but do not cause someone´s head
to ring! Any swing is fine, but stay in line! So, getting tired we are? Oh, no no no no
no, you are insane to complain! Oh, do not be so vain! Rest, if you are in such a
pain! But, hey, then you grab on to the beat again!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Well, here we go again! Centering in with your eyes, you are! Who is that you are
looking at? Are you looking to eat that rat or, ahha, to proove that your lust does
not have a flat?
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Oh, so we are approaching now? You think that person will like you? Grab on then,
which you intended anyway! What will you say? Hi, i am Ray! And i suppose you are Fay?
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Going to a private place, are we? Hey, avoid any fume and do not let anyone you
with **** exhume!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
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I checked my 52 lyrics and an overwhelming majority is about man-woman-relationship.
The one i posted was more casual and within the dance-category.
Also, from nowhere i found two more lyrics from 1993 that i was not aware of. They both are too long, 31 and 42 sentences, and they rhyme every sentence, which is more like poetry. I don´t like poetry!
The superfluos content reminds of a described mechanical idea i once sent to an airplaneengineer...still don´t understand why the idea was almost six A4-pages with drawings and text!?
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do you beleive in reincarnation?
have you been on this forum in a past existance?
have you ever heard of borat ?
why dont you send your lyrics to the airplane engineer? ;D i am childish aswell
hey ive just read grab onto that beat again & i think its hilarious....deliberatley hilarious ;)
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do you beleive in reincarnation?
have you been on this forum in a past existance?
have you ever heard of borat ?
why dont you send your lyrics to the airplane engineer? ;D i am childish aswell
hey ive just read grab onto that beat again & i think its hilarious....deliberatley hilarious ;)
Not lyrics, but a mechanical idea.
I made a prable to a mechanical idea i sent to an airplaneengineer, as i had previoulsy also dealt with innovations.
The parable was the superflous content of that mechanical idea and the two other lyrics i recently found at home ( one with 31 and one with 42 sentencrs ).
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Hi,
welcome to the forum.
I read Grab onto the Beat. Reminded me of Love is the Drug by Roxy Music.
Have a listen
diadem
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Found these two extra lyrics i wrote 1993, that i do not include in my collection of the other 52. Here you go!
What a feeling! ( 1993 )
I gave myself up to you.
I had you smiling everyday.
I responded to your calls.
When i picked, i picked only you.
What a feeling! A feeling, a feeling, a feeeeeling!
Holding hands, we shared our bond.
Kissing publicly. we displayed our passion.
I dressed you up in the latest fashions.
Tentalizing you i did, whenever i undressed.
What a feeling! A feeling, a feeling, a feeeeeling!
Waking up every morning, yu´re in such a good mood.
To everyone else, our relationship was the best.
Shortly, i started to think.
Something here really stinks.
What a feeling! A feeling, a feeling, a feeeeeling!
Eating aspirin, i wonder why.
Knowing the cause, i start to sigh.
Babe, you´re starting to get on my nerves.
Your nagging is constantly increasing.
What a feeling! A feeling, a feeling, a feeeeeling!
Paranoid, that´s what you´re getting.
Complaining about everything you do.
Babe, you´re ready for retirement.
You´re driving me nuts.
What a feeling! A feeling, a feeling, a feeeeeling!
Your nagging is driving me insane.
Your appearance is starting to give me pain.
Nag here, nag there. Whym you´re nagging anywhere.
Ignoring you, i´d rather drink a beer.
What a feeling! A feeling, a feeling, a feeeeeling!
Babe, you´re going senile.
Riding with you, i´d rather walk an extra mile.
Get a hold on that motormouth.
If you go north, i´ll go south.
What a feeling! A feeling, a feeling, a feeeeeling!
I´ve had it with your hyperness.
Having you out is a headache less.
Pack your bag and leave with your nag!
What a feeling! What a feeling! What a feeling! With you gone, i´ll crawl on the ceiling!
The ceiling, ceiling ,ceiling, ceiling, ceiling. What a feeling...a feeling!
What a feeling! What a feeling! What a feeling! With you gone, i´ll crawl on the ceiling!
The ceiling, ceiling ,ceiling, ceiling, ceiling. What a feeling...a feeling!
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me! ( 1993 )
Playing ball, i saw you on the bench with a crowd.
Scoring, i heard you cheer rather loudly amidst a dull approaching cloud.
Glancing over my shoulder, i saw you smiling at me.
Looking at you, i wanted more of you to see.
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Pleeeeeeeeease, please me!
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Pleeeeeeeeease, please me!
Leaving the ground, i wiped off the sweat to see you better.
Having gone away, i found out your name to be Heather.
Flipping through my mind, i recall every inch of your appearance.
Not pursuing you would make no sense.
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Pleeeeeeeeease, please me!
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Pleeeeeeeeease, please me!
Sitting on a bench by the beach, i saw a figure running on the sand.
Believing it was you, i was feverishly waving my hand.
Runing after you, i tumbled head-long.
Squinting ahead, you were already gone.
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Pleeeeeeeeease, please me!
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Pleeeeeeeeease, please me!
Buying soda by a stand, there you were.
Baby, being this close makes my pursuit even more sure.
Baby, your voluptious body is exactly what i want.
Don´t run away! Don´t keep me in such a taunt.
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Pleeeeeeeeease, please me!
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Pleeeeeeeeease, please me!
Let me feel you! Let me hold you!
Studying you, i know, i know you want me too.
Swinging away, i can´t help but noticing your luscious behind.
Following after you, i can hear my teeth grind.
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Pleeeeeeeeease, please me!
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Pleeeeeeeeease, please me!
Cathing up with her, i utter her name.
Piercing her eyes, i said to let us stop this arousing game.
Asking her out, she said yes.
Frisking home, nothing would this single chance mess.
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Pleeeeeeeeease, please me!
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Pleeeeeeeeease, please me!
Meeting her by a cinema, we walked in together.
Touching my hand, i felt her glove with a layer of smooth leather.
Watching the movie, we snuggled together tightly.
Feeling her this close, sure is something i would like to do nigthly.
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Pleeeeeeeeease, please me!
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Pleeeeeeeeease, please me!
Getting a hook on mee, we meet everyday.
Caressing you, there is nothing to say.
Giving me a tender kiss, i respond lovingly.
I find everything about you so interestingly.
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Pleeeeeeeeease, please me!
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Pleeeeeeeeease, please me!
Sitting on my lap, my hands are exploring your bodily meat.
Basking in the sun, everything seems so neat.
Going to an amusementpark, we´re having nothing but sheer fun.
Winning prices to you i do, by hitting all the targets with a pellet-gun.
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Pleeeeeeeeease, please me!
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Pleeeeeeeeease, please me!
Dining out, we share our thoughts mutually.
Sensing me, you know my feelings towards you are mounting like a rally.
Standing by a corner, we share our hot romance.
Shadowed by the darkness, we enjoy ourselves with some dance.
Giving me a last kiss, you tell me to call you tomorrow.
Baby, don´t leave me with such a teasing sorrow.
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Pleeeeeeeeease, please me!
Baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, don´t tease me! Please, please me!
Pleeeeeeeeease, please me!
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Bit harsh, everyone ripping you just as you arrived here. I'll review this later, man, just wanted to stop by to say hello :)
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Bit harsh, everyone ripping you just as you arrived here. I'll review this later, man, just wanted to stop by to say hello :)
Huh?
I haven´t noticed any of such sort and in such case...i welcome the battle...to see who will become the crybaby first. Heeeeeheee!
"I ain´t got no time to bleed!"
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Predator! Lol - excellent film!
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Predator! Lol - excellent film!
Yes, it can be interesting! I like action, sci-fi and special effects.
But...i like even more nonfiction movies like "Scarface" and "Midnight Express".... and my favorite genre is Martial Arts.
My favorite movies are the "Lone Wolf and Cub"-series.
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Welcome B4N3M4N
From what im reading your style of writing is coming across to me that you will find writing lyrics very easy also poetry, but my advice to you is post your lyrics if not then the best of luck to you.
Another piece of advice is here as you can see we communicate using the written word, so if and when you do decide to post your lyrics and believe me i really do hope you do, you will receive feedback, my advice is take your time to think on what words you use to reply.
Again Welcome and enjoy the journey, its going to be a long one 8) or then again, maybe a short one 8)
Never like poetry! I find poetry to be lame...sorry!
Yes, true, i have no bigger problem writing. I can be creative at times! And don´t worry..i always try to be diplomatic by nature, if such occasion arises.
My creativity does not only steam into literature: i have also dealt with innovations ( like trying to get a patent ).
My desire is really not to be or get recognized on a forum itself, but i am more looking for a possible collaboration.
Therefore, i am unsure if i should post any of my written lyrics from 1993. Remember that i am a childlish person ( even though i am an adult - i am just playful by nature ).
I will consider your request and perphaps post one of my 52 lyrics from 1993. But be warned: it can as well be childlish ( actually i just read my first lyric....and i started to laugh on occassions ). I am just a silly man ( but i can conform according to wishes/guidelines ). Heeeeh!
Thanks for your reply may i suggest you start by posting some feedback on this great forum, as a writer of words myself i always find that to be a great help to me as im sure you will yourself.
Welcome to the forum 8)
Just a few sec. ago i copied my VERY FIRST lyric ever written ( out of my 52 ) in 1993 and this from only having been given the advice over the telephone that i should rhyme. I did not even know what a chorus was.
Here you go...my first lyric ever written...20 years ago ( yes, too much text as i was told also afterwards ):
Grab on to that beat! ( 1993 )
Sipping drinks with scanning eyes, you do! Hey there, do you see something?
Your alert eyes are wide, your heart is beating, your body is tense and shortly
you start coming to a sense.
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Dancing on the floor with wiggleing butts, flinging heads, spasmatic legs and
with jerky arms you are!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
You there, grab on to the small one, the tall one, the slim one, the skinny one,
the fat one, the ugly one, the gorgeous one, grab yourself, but do your dancing
thing! Hey, ugly ones, do not sing!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
We are swetting with thirst, exhausting with pleasure, moving to the beat and
screaming like retards!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Do not step on your partner´s toes, slap someone´s face, behave with disgrace,
but dance as for a race! Dancing like hell, we are! Hey, drinking too much will not
get you dancing too far! Do not just sit at the bar!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Grab on to each other and do the "leg-swing", but do not cause someone´s head
to ring! Any swing is fine, but stay in line! So, getting tired we are? Oh, no no no no
no, you are insane to complain! Oh, do not be so vain! Rest, if you are in such a
pain! But, hey, then you grab on to the beat again!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Well, here we go again! Centering in with your eyes, you are! Who is that you are
looking at? Are you looking to eat that rat or, ahha, to proove that your lust does
not have a flat?
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Oh, so we are approaching now? You think that person will like you? Grab on then,
which you intended anyway! What will you say? Hi, i am Ray! And i suppose you are Fay?
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Going to a private place, are we? Hey, avoid any fume and do not let anyone you
with **** exhume!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Hey there, grab on to that beat and move your feet or go and take a leak!
That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat! That beat!
Well B4N3M4N
You need to post your lyrics in the lyric section also if you really are serious about collaborating with other members here then people here are going to have to get to know you better, so start posting feedback on other peoples work.
As you know your lyrics are very long also your choice of words like (spasmatic legs and
with jerky arms you are) (Hey, ugly ones, do not sing) and (screaming like retards) are not words that i would use in a song and there is one other thing you need to know about been a lyric writer, it can tell an awful lot about the person who wrote them, i'm just been honest with you okay.
What sort of music do you like and you say you wrote all your lyrics in 93 so that mean you're 20 years older and 20 years wiser, so be honest with me, are you really serious about collaborating.
Happy Christmas and i quote "If it bleeds, we can kill it" ;D
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Dogmax:
I feel comfortable within the literary area and so i feel i can write anything.
Yes, i have twisted humor.
Yes, i can collaborate if so wished, with someone who wants to try out/test my literary ability for commercial purposes.
My e-mail for contact is displayed in my first post.
Me writing long texts...i guess it shows my creative mind = i am then the opposite to having problem writing something at all! Heeeeh!
Besides, any of my previous written texts can be reworked. It´s no problem! Don´t view it literally!
I was in my early 20´s when i wrote all of my lyrics 1993...FOR THE FIRST AND ONLY TIME and with no prior practice, training or feedback! I have found that i wrote 55 lyrics from 1993 during a short period of time! I found at at the age of 9 or 10 that i was able within the literary area and i applied this for the first time during the two weeks i wrote the 52 different lyrics consisting of a total of 104 A4-pages of content. I consider myself to be an intellectual!
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I hate to be judgemental my friend but I think you think you're tremendously talented.
I'm doing double takes at some of the things you're saying.
Having said that, I've had a beer or two.
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I hate to be judgemental my friend but I think you think you're tremendously talented.
I'm doing double takes at some of the things you're saying.
Having said that, I've had a beer or two.
I understand you.
But i can´t state that confidence is the same as bragging.
Confidence in yourself is a positive attribute instead of the opposite and this is also something you should relay to other humans to give them a better self-esteem and to dare.
Of course, one must not lie, and thus be truthful as not to give false hopes or expectations.
It´s more like the US Army motto: "Be the best that you can be!" I am sure many would like to have such opportunity in real life also.
What about yourself: do you yourself think you lack the ability to write or are you already yourself a prolific lyricist? If you are a prolific lyricist, then what would your advices be for writing contemporary popular lyrics in categories like...Rock and Pop...or other categories...any kind of category?
PS! Canadian "Molson" beer is indeed a great beer...if you haven´t tried it yet!
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Stop posting in INTRODUCTIONS and go to LYRICS for some feedback and lyrical discussion.
Your posts here are no longer serving a purpose.
Start posting in LYRICS.
INTRODUCTIONS are for introductions and you've introduced yourself now.
Go to lyrics.
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Stop posting in INTRODUCTIONS and go to LYRICS for some feedback and lyrical discussion.
Your posts here are no longer serving a purpose.
Start posting in LYRICS.
INTRODUCTIONS are for introductions and you've introduced yourself now.
Go to lyrics.
Yes, will do...with any other next lyric i would like to exhibit!
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Start critiquing other peoples work first though.
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Start critiquing other peoples work first though.
How would i be qualified to do this, if i am myself an amateur regarding how a lyric really is supposed to be constructed and performed?
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How would i be qualified to do this, if i am myself an amateur regarding how a lyric really is supposed to be constructed and performed?
Just give your honest opinion :)
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How would i be qualified to do this, if i am myself an amateur regarding how a lyric really is supposed to be constructed and performed?
Just give your honest opinion :)
No, i am not qualified enough! I don´t have the credentials.
If i would do that as an amateur, i would mislead the person ( maybe another amateur ).
But...i could refer to this article i found: http://songwriter101.com/articles/entry/10_foolproof_ways_to_critique_your_own_songs .
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How would i be qualified to do this, if i am myself an amateur regarding how a lyric really is supposed to be constructed and performed?
Just give your honest opinion :)
No, i am not qualified enough! I don´t have the credentials.
If i would do that as an amateur, i would mislead the person ( maybe another amateur ).
But...i could refer to this article i found: http://songwriter101.com/articles/entry/10_foolproof_ways_to_critique_your_own_songs .
It's just an opinion you're giving not a medical diagnosis!
You must agree with the article or you wouldn't have posted it so you are indirectly giving your opinion. Opinion by proxy?
Seriously though giving feedback is kinda expected if you wanna be taken seriously and if you want an opinion expressed about your stuff. :)
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How would i be qualified to do this, if i am myself an amateur regarding how a lyric really is supposed to be constructed and performed?
Just give your honest opinion :)
No, i am not qualified enough! I don´t have the credentials.
If i would do that as an amateur, i would mislead the person ( maybe another amateur ).
But...i could refer to this article i found: http://songwriter101.com/articles/entry/10_foolproof_ways_to_critique_your_own_songs .
It's just an opinion you're giving not a medical diagnosis!
You must agree with the article or you wouldn't have posted it so you are indirectly giving your opinion. Opinion by proxy?
Seriously though giving feedback is kinda expected if you wanna be taken seriously and if you want an opinion expressed about your stuff. :)
My own stuff is of no real concern to me, since i am more loooking for a possible collaboration with an already qualified craftsman ( man or woman ).
I could give my opinion about a text, but it would be purely subjective and i would probably only look at context and grammar. My feedback would be more literary then musical and a lyric is supposed to be a musical work at the end. Still...that is what my feedback would be then!
I will try give feedback some day...before i post any more of my own lyrics and in the right section this time.
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How would i be qualified to do this, if i am myself an amateur regarding how a lyric really is supposed to be constructed and performed?
Just give your honest opinion :)
No, i am not qualified enough! I don´t have the credentials.
If i would do that as an amateur, i would mislead the person ( maybe another amateur ).
But...i could refer to this article i found: http://songwriter101.com/articles/entry/10_foolproof_ways_to_critique_your_own_songs .
Blimey, this must be the loooooooooooooongest intro thread EVER!
Well, welcome!
I hope you find co-collaborators and anything else that you may be looking for here.
If you want to find someone to collaborate with, you're going to need to listen to other people's stuff to find what you like, and you're going to need to let the rest of us listen to your stuff so that people here can decide whether they want to work with you. It won't happen unless you start involving yourself in the forum.
It's a give-and-take kind of a place!
I remember when i first joined, in my intro i said something about feeling i wasn't sure whether i was knowledgeable enough to comment on other people's work. I realise now how ludicrous that was. As if you need to pass professional exams in opinion-giving in order to have something valid to say on a subjective matter. The very fact that it is subjective means that no-one is any better or worse qualified than anyone else. It's just a personal opinion - no-one's going to take it as gospel, and no-one's going to sue anyone for malpractice if they don't agree!!
Besides, as homeless recluse said, it's fairly essential to give feedback if you want to get anything out of being here.
And so, like Alan said...... Time to stop posting here and start getting into the rest of the forum!
I hope you enjoy being part of the forum.
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Hi Everyone
Check this out. Dee Dee Kaye the dance diva and here new single ft: Mc Neat "Step Into My Life" Location X Records produced by The Next Room.
Please let me know what you think and please spread the word.
www.deedeekaye.co.uk (http://www.deedeekaye.co.uk)