The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Dave Bradley on October 16, 2013, 10:36:12 AM
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This song was originally called Big Bang Theory and was cosmological acoustic rock with me on vocals, acoustic, electric and bass guitar, and a few hiphop beats. It's got a new lyrical coating now and goes by the name of "Singularity" alluding to being alone, crushed, infinitessimal, insignificant...
https://soundcloud.com/sciencebase/big-bang-theory
At the very start, the moment of conception
Outrunning light, no sound, all is perfection
Focused passion written truly large
Like the word of some almighty pressure
At the very start, there was no pained expression
Nothing yet to heal, no reflection
Colder than the comfort
Weaker at the moment
Beauty and the feeling of everything that's the new
Colder than the comfort
Weaker at the moment
Singularity
Singularity...
But from the very start, empathy was disconnected
No feeling, sight or sound...just introspection
Final thoughts were written out so clear
Although the world has so many, so many under pressure
To the very end, too much anger and aggression
But sound and fury fade on reflection
But colder, there's no comfort
In the weakness of the moment
Beauty fails and nothing's left as new
Colder than the comfort
Weaker at the very moment
Singularity
Singularity...
Colder there's no comfort
In the weakness of the moment
Beauty fails and nothing's left for free
Singularity
Singularity...
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Hi
Bit of a fusion thing going on here...which I'm liking a lot ;D ;D Love the jazzy feel.
The way the vocal melody interacts/scans with the music is very clever and
sophisticated.....a real pleasure to listen to.
Nice instrumentation....especially liked the chord progression, and I thought that sort of
soft, clipped effect on the guitar worked really well.
Love your style......great song
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this obviously isnt about the same tv programme that i watch ... there was no sheldon! :(
...the mix was very very good super crisp & clear & i realy liked the bouncy rhythym
i did find the constant flood of words a bit much as im not sciencey & thought instrumental breaks would be good in there anyway
it stopped dead!... or was that the end of the universe?
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Ha! you are a science teacher! if so could you please do one about relativity and the Bernouli effect 'cos I never could get my head around those.
It's a really good sound you've got, seems very 'airy' without any harsh treble, nice. The words are great, very unique and the guitar sounds really tight too.
The end is a bit sudden though - singularity = full stop? is that it?
GTB
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Hi,
This is an interesting mix of things. Production excellent as always. Music and vocal are very good.
My science knowledge is limited to; alcohol x 10 + 1 bloke who should know better = headache. :)
That said, i found the lyrics interesting, if a little hard to follow in a song context.
Certainly not commercial - and all the better for it!
Nice one.
Digger
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Hah...the lyrics were meant to be a bit esoteric...but basically just saying there was a lot of pent up energy that was released, we're in the middle and the universe will eventually fade away to a quiet invisible eternity they call entropic heat death...
It wasn't meant to stop suddenly, it was meant to fade. I uploaded a remix, which obviously didn't make it all the way through the ether...fixed now.
My son's friend who sings with a rather popular local band called The Varsity is, hopefully, going to do me a rap for the instrumental bridge...so when I said this was a Finished Song...well, it is...but it's obviously just a demo and will be built on a little bit...
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You've got me thinking about the lyrics now...they were meant to be tongue-in-cheek quasi-science...although with the vague notion of the Big Bang etc...but should I totally re-do the vocals, get rid of the entropy and the singularity?
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such a great song.. like most people Im not entirely sure what it is your singing about lol but i like it :) If i listened to it enough I'd prolly keep learning more and picking up things I would of missed the last time round. Love the chord progression! Its awesome music and a learning aid! lol
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such a great song.. like most people Im not entirely sure what it is your singing about lol but i like it :) If i listened to it enough I'd prolly keep learning more and picking up things I would of missed the last time round. Love the chord progression! Its awesome music and a learning aid! lol
Glad you liked the song. Like I say, I don't think any physics lecturer is going to be using my lyrics as teaching matter just yet...
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Very good song. I'm now casting my mind back to the physics half of my degree ( I did joint hons) trying to make sense of the lyrics - I've forgotten so much though LOL
Rhysian x
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Very good song. I'm now casting my mind back to the physics half of my degree ( I did joint hons) trying to make sense of the lyrics - I've forgotten so much though LOL
Rhysian x
Well...I did some physics too, but there's not really a lot in this other than calling the Big Bang an entropic decompression and musing on how humanity is but a tiny blip in the chain from the primordial universe to ultimate heat death :-( Oh dear, I know how to dampen the party spirit don't I?
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hey
I enjoyed that tune,
didn't get it all if i'm honest but nice tune,
tony.
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Oooh this is a bit different innit! Don't hear many songs about cosmology! This is really clever cos even though i didn't understand a word, it felt like it made perfect sense and i got it all........weird!!
Music is gorgeous ;D
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hey
I enjoyed that tune,
didn't get it all if i'm honest but nice tune,
tony.
Glad you liked the tune! Lyrics were whimsical nonsense really...
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Oooh this is a bit different innit! Don't hear many songs about cosmology! This is really clever cos even though i didn't understand a word, it felt like it made perfect sense and i got it all........weird!!
Music is gorgeous ;D
Thanks for listening, I am toying with the idea of re-recording the vocals with new lyrics that might actually mean something rather than being random nonsense about the Big Bang...
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This is my favorite song of all those I've listened to from you.
It's so deep that it's almost nonsensical to most of us... and that's kind of charming.... like it happens on two levels - one ultra deep, and the other almost fairy tale simple.
Made me think of "Dozey Doats and Maresy Doats and little lambsy divey" ("Does eat oats and mares eat oats and little lambs eat ivy") in a way.
The music was perfect for the lyric and they fit together like a glove.
REALLY liked this one.
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This is my favorite song of all those I've listened to from you.
Many, many thanks...just imagining the entropy equations for those oat-eating does ;-)
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i liked it, some nice melody, especially the chorus, with great lyrics :)
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I'd echo what others have said about the excellent production, guitar sound, melody and vocals. I'm probably going to upset you now but I think you've kind of wasted all the above on a subject which is unlikely to stir any emotional response or resonance in anyone who hears it. If this was applied to a - let's say - conventional subject matter, it would be a cracker. I just don't think people want to hear about the science stuff, sad though that is.
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I'd echo what others have said about the excellent production, guitar sound, melody and vocals. I'm probably going to upset you now but I think you've kind of wasted all the above on a subject which is unlikely to stir any emotional response or resonance in anyone who hears it. If this was applied to a - let's say - conventional subject matter, it would be a cracker. I just don't think people want to hear about the science stuff, sad though that is.
Fair enough. Muse would probably disagree (viz Supermassive Black Hole).
But, to be frank there isn't any science in this song, it's all smoke and mirrors, sciencey sounding but no real science. The actual words are just about how insignificant we are in with our little troubles in the universe...I bet if I ditched the word "entropic" no one would have even thought it was about science at all ;-)
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Okay...no more cosmology...this is musically the same song with a new vocal and a new title, not so much about our insignificance in the face of the aeons, but about a moment of perfection, something created, something torn apart. A life? A relationship? A world? All three..?
https://soundcloud.com/sciencebase/big-bang-theory
Singularity
At the very start, the moment of conception, outrunning light, no sound, all is perfection
Focused passion written truly large
Like the word of some almighty pressure
At the very start, there was no pained expression, nothing yet to heal, no reflection
Colder than the comfort
Weaker at the moment
Beauty and the feeling of everything that's the new
Colder than the comfort
Weaker at the moment
Singularity
Singularity...
But from the very start, empathy was disconnected, no feeling, sight or sound...just introspection
Final thoughts were written out so clear
Although the world has so many, so many under pressure
To the very end, too much anger and aggression, but sound and fury fade on reflection
But colder, there's no comfort
In the weakness of the moment
Beauty fails and nothing's left as new
Colder than the comfort
Weaker at the very moment
Singularity
Singularity...
Colder there's no comfort
In the weakness of the moment
Beauty fails and nothing's left for free
Colder than the comfort
Weaker at the moment
Singularity
Singularity...
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Very nice i like that, i can hear it been the theme tune to some TV syfy series with a great sense of humour included in the show.
Great lyrics and enjoy listening, really nice 8)
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Very nice i like that, i can hear it been the theme tune to some TV syfy series with a great sense of humour included in the show.
Great lyrics and enjoy listening, really nice 8)
I should write a script...
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Very nice i like that, i can hear it been the theme tune to some TV syfy series with a great sense of humour included in the show.
Great lyrics and enjoy listening, really nice 8)
I should write a script...
It sound to me like you wrote the first episode ;D
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Super Massive Blackhole - what a tune.
I like the new lyrics. I liked the old ones as well.
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Super Massive Blackhole - what a tune.
I like the new lyrics. I liked the old ones as well.
I think I may tighten them up a bit more...still quite a mouthful. Note to self, don't post to "Finished Songs", mine rarely are...
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Nice song SB, I like it! Good chord progression and melody. Nice guitar tones. The lyrics fit with the overall sound of the song. ;D ;D
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie
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Nice song SB, I like it! Good chord progression and melody. Nice guitar tones. The lyrics fit with the overall sound of the song. ;D ;D
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie
Many thanks!
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Hi SB,
Very cool song mate, I like the laid back feel, the acoustic guitar mixed with the poppy drums and general Moby-esque sound. I'd like to hear more of the clean guitar sound at around 2:20, maybe the whole first verse like this, with vocals, to add an element of the track building as it progresses..
Just a thought..
Great job
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Hi SB,
Very cool song mate, I like the laid back feel, the acoustic guitar mixed with the poppy drums and general Moby-esque sound. I'd like to hear more of the clean guitar sound at around 2:20, maybe the whole first verse like this, with vocals, to add an element of the track building as it progresses..
Just a thought..
Great job
Thanks! Yeah, when I stripped the percussion back for the first instrumental bridge it occurred to me that I could maybe strip it back elsewhere...so I might just do that...
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I like the fusion here of the slightly hiphop acoustic tracking.
In places it made me think of 90s TLC. *I don't want no scrubs*. And that is a pop TUNE!
Funky fun and enjoyable.
The layered vocals bring a little psychedelia to the table which works if a little unbalanced mix wise. The end is a little sudden for me too.
Fun though, I like it!
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Many thanks for listening James! That's an interesting comparison...TLC...people usually mention Squeeze and/or Bowie ;-)
Will have a listen to the harmony mix, it's definitely not perfect and I've messed around with it repeatedly, especially after redoing the lead vocal with my new lyrics.
The abrupt end is a problem...it's not meant to be that harsh, it's supposed to fade for longer...I need to re-record or clone some bits to stretch it out...
Thanks again for thoughts!
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The layered vocals bring a little psychedelia to the table which works if a little unbalanced mix wise. The end is a little sudden for me too.
Extended some of the instrumentation to give a gentler fade out...thanks for the alert on that. Also toned down the harmx a little...
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HI SB...don't know how I missed this one, but I think it's brilliant :) I love the lyrics...thought provoking stuff...IMHO, you aced this one...it's definitely one of my fav's of yours :) :) :) CS
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HI SB...don't know how I missed this one, but I think it's brilliant :) I love the lyrics...thought provoking stuff...IMHO, you aced this one...it's definitely one of my fav's of yours :) :) :) CS
Many thanks Suzy. Kind of you to say so ;-)
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Remember this song of mine originally entitled "Big Bang Theory", never had anything to do with the TV nor anything about the origins of the universe to be honest. It's now called Singularity, got a new, more personal vocal about being along (singularity, geddit?) and being crushed by the end of a relationship...perhaps. Anyway, I remixed it too...still hihop, still acoustic indie rock, still a bit of funk and my way OTT bassline!
https://soundcloud.com/sciencebase/big-bang-theory
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I'm a sucker for science references! I liked the song a lot. Enjoyed the unusual style and thought the production was really well done. Liked your other songs on sound cloud as well. Nice one.
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I'm a sucker for science references! I liked the song a lot. Enjoyed the unusual style and thought the production was really well done. Liked your other songs on sound cloud as well. Nice one.
The sciencey references were a bit silly. A more seriously scientific song was my Pale Blue Dot, also on SoundCloud, about the Voyager space probe looking back at the earth and thinking, "what a mess it left behind", allusion to Carl Sagan's famous pale blue dot photo...
There's also Escape to the Stars, similar theme, about us finding a way to get to another world, leaving behind our ruined Earth (and our pride)
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I look forward to the new lyrics - there's some big words which are hard to sing and ergo 'listen to' but good tune.
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I look forward to the new lyrics - there's some big words which are hard to sing and ergo 'listen to' but good tune.
Not sure what you mean...the version that is live now has the new lyrics I talked about weeks ago. Ditched the made up science stuff, it's now about relationships and "singularity" in the sense of being alone...
If my performance isn't great, fine. I may redo this song at some point. They're all really just demos although I try my best and truly sing from the heart...
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I play a little guitar myself but this song sounds like its 'right' with good swings.
Inspired *
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I play a little guitar myself but this song sounds like its 'right' with good swings.
Inspired *
I like that word. "Inspired". Thank you.