The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: ABeautifulVirus on September 20, 2012, 01:32:20 PM
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...kinda vaudeville Alice In Chains-ish barbershop quartet acid grunge alternative rock.
all guitars except solo tuned down way low to open C (C,G,C,G,C,E)
http://soundcloud.com/abeautifulvirus/bad-fortune-cookie
Bad Fortune Cookie (demo)
© 2009-2012 MRI / Words & Music by Daren Thomas Turner
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I ordered take out once it was a tasty meal
But afterwards the fortune cookie did reveal
A dark prediction: painful, frightening and dour…
The little note read: “You’ll be dead within the hour”
Don’t read it
Just eat it.
I started shaking and I fell down to the floor
Then I read the note again: it added more…
“Get off the floor accept your fate and close your eyes-
When it comes you will never have the time to cry”
Don’t read it
Just eat it.
Don’t lay me down…
Don’t lay me down…
Don’t lay me down…
An hour later I was very much alive
The note had changed again; it read:
“You are divine”
When life hands you a fortune cookie that is bad
You have the chance to prove the best you ever had
Don’t read it
Just eat it.
Don’t lay me down…
Don’t lay me down…
Don’t lay me down…
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Weird...Mental.....fecking great !!!
What have you been smokin there daren :D
did i detect a bit of enter sandman ? Cant think of anything useful to add ..... cowbell maybe ? ;D
Brilliant stuff Dazzer .
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This track does challenge the brains normal view of melody, it`s not exactly ABBA is it.
Fortunately for me, i can dig this..although it does feel like a bad dream in a vinyl sort of way,love those screaming guitar notes...
Not going be everyone`s cup of Rosie lee.....but there you go.
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I have to admit, this is not my cup of tea...
But I can appreciate the sort of experimental aspects of this kind of music, I found the vocal harmonics especially interesting, there's something scary and yet very intriguing about them.
Production-wise I think this is really really good quality, congrats on that :)
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wow..I'm speechless ;D ;D...........
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i only read the lyrics, and i am speechless
wow, weird
i have to get back to the music later, as i am supposed to be working now ::)
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This is awesome work man!!!, Nirvana meets NIN, so leftfield love it
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This is right up there with the quality of writing demonstrated by your others posts. Unusual lyrics that work very well. I'd like to hear a clearer vocal but I also attribute this as a kind of signature that identifies much of the work you present. as with othe songs that you've posted, it's hypnotic and I believe tha it will work very well in a live setting.
Well done
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Weird and wonderful, a great job well recorded too. Love your description of the song, "vauderville baber shop quartet acid grunge" Man this would make their moustache's whirl lol
Travis
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hey thanks everyone for the feedback! i know this was rather 'out there', but so am i i guess lol
This track does challenge the brains normal view of melody, it`s not exactly ABBA is it.
hahaaahaa ;p
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Really enjoyed this a lot. Right up my street. It's got energy, it's musically interesting
and performed really well.
Really love this ;D
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Just genius as usual - I have the greatest admiration for your writing and producing my friend ;D
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great, gloomy, fantastic
super recording
very creative lyrics
but this kind of music does not allow for much dynamics in the melody, i know this is probably a very stupid remark.... :P but i would like some more of that
but you are the best in putting together this huge sound and seem to have tons of very creative ideas
it sounds great!
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terrific
excellent psycho 'duanne' rolling gtr sound
and your signature vocals
love the twisting in the chorus., like one those 'spyroscopes' tubes we looked through as kids
some brilliant creative manipulation going on
think the drums could punch it bit more, seem a little swamped or slightly remote ..
but terrific BV
is there an album on the way ?
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not heard you before i dont think. like the goth atmospheric vocals at the beginnin. a little bit too manson for me really. agree with the above suggestion of more melody, glad it switched up a bit at 2.25 ish. The sound is really well produced. Good work ;D