The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Competitions => Topic started by: Mr.Chainsaw on March 26, 2012, 02:48:47 PM
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So this is my 3rd ever recording. Mainly due to hating my own voice ??? I'll quite happily play infront of a pub full of drunk tossers, but make me listen back to it...no way hahaha
It's a little over 1.30 but I feel in love with the little guitar riff at the end. What's a guy to do?
Critique on the recording would be much appreciated
http://soundcloud.com/la-noir/was-that-your-silhouette
Was that your silhouette
Hanging at my door
Were those your foot steps
Softly down my hall
Was that you hesitating, knowing
It won’t be this good again
Was that your key in the lock
Turning all the same
Peter
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Great lyrics and set to a nice mood piece. The harmonica really works and makes up my mind i wanna start playing one now, also the way the guitar turns to that riff is really nice.
The recording is a very honest one and i'm a sucker for that. Kind of no thrills here's my song. This is the sort of music i love, and i love 'Little Spark' too, more so in fact.
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Nice song, love the feel & mood of it. Nice one :) :) :) :)
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I feel the same a domj - strip a song naked and see if it has what it takes. This one does and I really enjoyed it. Thought the melody could just embellish slightly - perhaps a full length version will let that flower - loved it when the second guitar came in that is a really strong little riff. Observation - wonder if the intro was just a little long. It set the tone/mood nicely - but perhaps I was ready to move on ten seconds earlier. But overall I really enjoyed this. BTB
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just rescuing your song doctor lurve...oops sorry mr chainsaw! before it falls of the bottom of the reviews page & you only posted it this afternoon...these are strange times here!
for just a 3rd recording this is great & i think youve done realy well here
it does capture a mood more than actualy say something & some reverb would realy help that mood i think...
& id have footsteps echoing down the hall in the background under the guitar at the beginning or the end.....sorry im getting carried away... Dr lurve does that to me! :)
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Yes, very nice :) I enjoyed this. The guitar was nice and the mood was chilled :)
I liked the harmonica too.
Good entry and good song :)
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Nice mellow song,enjoyed the vocals and guitar , must be something wrong with me though , because unlike the others ,i never liked the gob organ , everything else was cool :)
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warm & atmospheric
like a big old house with a light in it
lovely track
nooms
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Nice tune. The rhythm of the guitar picking is the hook point here, which makes it a slight shame that the timing of the playing isnt 100% consistent. A better take would really allow this to kick through.
Nice vocal, sparse lyrics, a good short song. The harp was fine, simple but did the job :)
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very nice. and i think there's nothing wrong with your voyce.
gr. Dan
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Thanks all!
@cheff daniel I know, enough people at my songwriters club tell me that. I think I'M the only one who doesn't like it, which is worse really
@James Nighthawk You know it didn't even cross my mind to used the click track, oops! Ah well, more organic, eh?
@nooms It was inspired by my missus at the time leaving for work 4 hours after I'd got back from mine and collapsed into semi sleep. With some heartbreak thrown in
@andy5544 I'm addicted to the blues harp now. When you're sat in your room playing to yourself it makes you feel like you have a friend...sniff...
@Schavuitje I was hoping you'd like it. Whenever I go to review something I find you've said exactly what I'd say already, grr! ;)
@tinam Haha, thanks nurse tina ;) I thought it was the vodka that did that to you...? I thought about the FX myself but felt it would be a bit cheesy for something quite sad
@bewarethisboy Yeah, intro takes the piss abit for a short song. I’ve got a feeling it’ll blossom into a full song at some point, though. Also it’s just one guitar, not two, but yeah I love the riff.
@songsmith Wow, FOUR smileys? You’re making me blush mate!
@domj Do it, get a harmonica. Easy to play, difficult to master I’d say, but can be really evocative if you don’t go OTT. Following on soundcloud now, cool stuff!
Good luck all in the competition!
Peter
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Nice, if you were to make this into a longer song, it maybe nice to have a change of chords and a simple chorus. When song's linger around the same chords like this one for so long it becomes very satisfying to add in a change of chords.
Check out 'Details in the fabric' by Jason Mraz and James Morrison for a really good example of this.
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Peter my freind,
Firstly I really enjoyed this - I think you are a well underrated writer - I hear you have a song called black stone that might make it onto this form one day produced by an international superstar :o
There are a few timing issues with the guitar - I really empathise with this as I find it so hard myself to keep in time - a little trick is to leave a slight pause in your picking at the end of every cycle - that way you can cut and paste to get it perfect
I oartilcualry liked the lyrics and thought they were very interesting ;)the little outro is ace
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Holding on a basic riff and developing gradually. If you can pull it off it really works...and you're well on the way here dude. It works as a short song but....
Develop it please. I can hear it going and building and building and ...............POW! :o 8)
There is enough harmonically going on in that relatively simple arrangement do go anywhere you like. ;D
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lovely atmosphere and a tidy wee song, good stuff, forge on
Ian
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Mr Chainsaw this is damn good!, i think you've found your style, the guitar riff was fantanstic, i agree with tinam maybe a touch of reverb on the vocal but yeah i'm really impressed with that, fairplay!
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This ilustrates very well my state of mind right now, so thank you for it. I think the armonica makes it even more solitary. Like if you wanted something to happen, but not really. Nice work!
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I don't know what to say apart from you've won, flat out, that is like...wtf? I actually would have this on my phone and listen to it daily probably.
its just so atmospheric and...really emotional I actually enjoyed this quite a lot, I want more, I look forward to seeing more.