The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Lyrics => Topic started by: Soul Punk on March 04, 2012, 07:19:20 PM
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Hi guys
really hoping you can help me perfect this song
if its just terrible tell me though and I'll scrap it
Jeans
(Far Too Loud)
Well I guess that I wish I had a plan
instead of drifting around with my guitars
in the back of this rusty transit tin can
moving just to break the dust from my hands
hey young dude, roll the window way down
let the neighbours hear all our sounds
just remember not to play far too loud
We all want the same thing, I guess
Looks like we all want whats lying inbetween
Someone you feel safe around and even trust
but doesn't bore the faith out of your jeans
hey young dude, roll the window way down
let the neighbours hear all our sounds
just remember not to play far too loud
Did you hear about the 'very best band'
tell me, can you even recall the bragging name
wasn't it something along the lines of 'bandwagon'
vomited from the lame point of a felt tip pen
hey young dude, roll the window way down
let the neighbours hear all our sounds
just remember not to play far too loud
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I like the lyrics man!
I'm curious about the melody you're gonna make with it. Keep remembering that lyrics are important, but the melody will be recognized by people. Don't be too hard for your self!
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It's definitely the opposite of terrible, soooo, don't scarp it. There are several interesting lines in this one such as,
"but doesn't bore the faith out of your jeans"
and
"vomited from the lame point of a felt tip pen"
This whole stanza,
Did you hear about the 'very best band'
tell me, can you even recall the bragging name
wasn't it something along the lines of 'bandwagon'
vomited from the lame point of a felt tip pen
is actually pretty cool. Very accurately expressed notion about the flavor of the month bands, derision and all. It's inventive prose like the lines above that i really enjoy. The kind of unpredictable collision of imagery that maintains an appropriateness for the subject that makes it stand out, makes it smart and exciting. Thanks for sharing. (:
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I like this. The lyrics seem really catchy, and the song in itself unique. Would love to hear the music to this one