The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: PeteS on June 30, 2022, 09:04:18 PM
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So I wasn't going to post for a while as I haven't written a new song recently while I finish the new album (pretentious or what!).
But this is the last track on the album and it is the complete opposite of my last post Silent Exit so I thought I'd see what you all thought..
I hope you like it!
Suffer more through imagination
Than is ever the reality
Thoughts aren’t an adjudication
They’re far from a guarantee
Paralysed by procrastination
It’s not where you ever want to be
Frozen solid by deliberation
Clouded judgement no brevity
Every second a decision to make
Every minute, someone will be fake
Every hour there’s a journey to run
But every day - you keep holding the gun
Every action has its consequences
But you control just how they’re dealt with
Those consequences
Don’t let them seal your fate
You can’t evolve through self-deprecation
Just repeat the same mistakes again
Time doesn’t pay you compensation
Don’t let your time be spent in vein
Every second a decision to make
Every minute, someone will be fake
Every hour there’s a journey to run
But every day - you keep holding the gun
Every action has its consequences
But you control just how they’re dealt with
Those consequences
Don’t let them seal your fate
Truth or consequence you keep on trying to refrain
Truth or consequence you keep on trying to abstain
Truth or consequence just step outside it’s time to leave
Step outside and start to breathe!
Every second there’s a decision to make
Every minute, someone will be fake
Every hour there’s a journey to run
But every day - you keep holding the gun
Every action has its consequences
But you control just how they’re dealt with
Those consequences
Don’t let them seal your fate
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@PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588)
"Every action had it's consequences",
"you control how they are dealt with"
"don't let them seal your fate"
All jump from the page and speak to me. They echo the words of another song "never let your concience be harmful to your health. Let no neurotic impulse turn inward on itself". Soul searching writing, set to a beautiful melancholy melody.
Wicked
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Hi, there's some great lyrics in this song and I enjoyed the delivery. Kind of reminded a little of Dodgy from the 90's. Nice mix, very pro sounding, enjoyed it. On a side note I thought you were calling your new album "Pretentious or what" haha. Now that's a good title for a song.
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I love the "consequences | dealt with" rhyme! Really the entire lyric is so good. Well done.
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Yes, there's some great lyrics here. The arrangement is spot on too. The vocals are really strong, but sound a bit kinda too processed somehow - I dunno. Nonetheless, a hell of a good song. I really enjoyed it :)
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I can tell you that Neil is very please with these replies as he wrote the lyrics and for once I didn't change a word!
Thanks for all the positive comments and yes, @StevieJ (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22834) that would be a good title 🤣
@ChrisPrice (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22723) - I'm glad you liked it. As for the vocals, my goto vocal chain is compression, eq, a little reverb and delay and finally one of the logic Chorus settings is a doubler. I then vary it to taste really. It maybe that it's more exposed here? I was happy with it though.
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Clever lyrics my friend wrapped in cool backing track, just thought the chorus didn't lift enough, it sort of stayed at the same level as everything else. :) doesn't mean it's not a good song, just my humble take on it, it did sound good played loud in my studio!!
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Very good lyrics as has been said, and a great build to this Pete, without ever getting tooo big so it still feels open and delicate throughout. My only crit is maybe it deserves a better title as 'Every' doesn't really evoke much? What about "Truth or Consequence"? Great vocals by the way, nicely restrained and clear as a bell.
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Had shades of ELO in places.. I really like this. Great lyrics and vox - and look at you with the piano intro / first verse (do I remember you saying you don't play?? Maybe that was someone else, which would make more sense - apols if so!)..
Agree with PaulyX re the title - I tend very often to go for non-obvious titles (which I believe is not the done thing for obvious reasons :) ) but here it just seems a bit short or something.. Even "Every Action" would work better for me but Consequences either.. But of course, it's all about the song..
...which is great!
K
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Hi Pete.
Love this song. Fine lyrically and melodically.
It's word heavy,but never loses it's potency.
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Hey guys, thanks for some great comments!
@shadowfax (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20024) Thanks, I think the chorus just lifts enough because of the change in pitch. It was a difficult think and something I struggled with. The final chorus has more going on to give it a lift at the end but I didn't want to give that away too early.
@PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) I didn't give the title a second thought until now! Before we commit it I'll talk it over with Neil. Thanks
@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) Thanks Karen, it was me and I still can't play piano. I can manage a few chords, then a lead line and tidy up the sloppy playing in Logic. Not really piano playing tbh. Glad you liked it.
@Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061) Thanks Davy
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Hola @PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588)
It's a great song!!! Deep words, good melodies and really catchy!!! I enjoyed it a lot, a wonderful listening!!
Bravo!!!
Mora
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Good last track for the album @PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588) and up to your usual standard. The album should be a good listen. I really liked your vocal on this one. I know that you've had some comments about vocals in the past but on this one I think it's perfectly placed and that tint bit of delay makes it even more effective. A great listen and good luck with the new album :)
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Beautiful piano and smooth lyrical melody.
The combination of the piano, the drums and the rock-guitar sounds very harmonious.
The song is easy and pleasant to listen to :)
Maya