The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: moraamarolaloba on May 25, 2022, 01:03:47 PM
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Hola!!
I adore blackbirds, their voice has a special, inspiring magic and I came up with this song.
I think the voice is good in volume here, I'm always afraid that it's too loud...
While I listen to the voice
of the blackbird
I look at yoiur face
wondering
why why why
it's impossible to change past
I think of a thousand things
no clear thought
stands out
from the crowd
that stirs stirs stirs
in my mind
screaming words
that cover each others
everything could be so simple
like the games of children
but you
have made me grave
for your dreams
and mine
we are dead and alive
under layers of time
turned into stones
over our heads
while I listen to the voice
of the blackbird
singing singing singing
to the night
to the stars
that are still what they are
inertia over inertia
like our life
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Hi @moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) I adore the song of the Blackbird too, especially in the early morning when everything is quiet and they herald the start of a beautiful new day. This one is very hypnotic. The drum beat draws you into a trance. I think that it's another excellent song. Vocals sit just right in my opinion. Always something original and inspirational from you and Marcus. Wonderful stuff
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Agreed, blackbirds are great. We just had two blackbird chicks fledge in our tiny back garden. My wife kept having to run out to scare the magpies away before they could eat them. But I'm pleased to report the chicks made it, and there are now 2 more blackbirds in the world.
The track is quality Mora... for me that simple cello (?) bassline you've got going all the way through it is the star. The skittering percussion is very nice too. And the "Tweety tweety tweety" ending really made me smile! Thanks for a smile.
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What an amazing bass sound! The volume balance of the voice and this music is perfect.
Very original song with modern sound and brilliant arrangement! As always, excellent video.
You are an inspiration!
Maya
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@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233)
Hi Mora, I love the way you build a track, it's so simple and restrained but it delivers a punch because of that. Nothing is over played or over done. Great sounds as usual and the sparse use of the lead guitar also worked very well. Another original and interesting lyric delivered in your very own style.
Excellent Mora!
Jamie
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Hi @moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) I adore the song of the Blackbird too, especially in the early morning when everything is quiet and they herald the start of a beautiful new day. This one is very hypnotic. The drum beat draws you into a trance. I think that it's another excellent song. Vocals sit just right in my opinion. Always something original and inspirational from you and Marcus. Wonderful stuff
Hola @pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269)
Thabk you!!! Have a nice week-end!
Mora
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Fabulous beats, gorgeous guitar from Marcus, great and interesting lyrics as always, rich in atmosphere. Classic @moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) then!
Loved it… not sure how you can be this original and prolific!
Fab!
K
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Agreed, blackbirds are great. We just had two blackbird chicks fledge in our tiny back garden. My wife kept having to run out to scare the magpies away before they could eat them. But I'm pleased to report the chicks made it, and there are now 2 more blackbirds in the world.
The track is quality Mora... for me that simple cello (?) bassline you've got going all the way through it is the star. The skittering percussion is very nice too. And the "Tweety tweety tweety" ending really made me smile! Thanks for a smile.
Hola @PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034)
I'm happy about the blackbirds!!!
Thanks for your comment, that simple cello (?) bassline
it is indeed the backbone of the subject. I started with pizzicatos but I needed a deeper and more magical sound and Marcus solved it like this, with his guitar, so I could achieve a left right game to gain realism and depth of stereo image.
Stay well
Mora
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What an amazing bass sound! The volume balance of the voice and this music is perfect.
Very original song with modern sound and brilliant arrangement! As always, excellent video.
You are an inspiration!
Maya
@Maya Clars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22624)
Yo are so kind!!! Thank you and a big kissssss for you!
Mora
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@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233)
Hi Mora, I love the way you build a track, it's so simple and restrained but it delivers a punch because of that. Nothing is over played or over done. Great sounds as usual and the sparse use of the lead guitar also worked very well. Another original and interesting lyric delivered in your very own style.
Excellent Mora!
Jamie
Hola @Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125)
Thank you!
Mora
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Hola, I love the music to this one it's a very cool song and your voice was great too you have such a creative mind and so unique. nice work!
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Fabulous beats, gorgeous guitar from Marcus, great and interesting lyrics as always, rich in atmosphere. Classic @moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) then!
Loved it… not sure how you can be this original and prolific!
Fab!
K
Hola @MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820)
Thank you ! Always so kind words commenting on my songs!!!
The best way not to be swept away by the emptiness of oneself is to fill it hahaha
Mora
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You never fail to surprise with your innovative and eclectic arrangements, I always end up thinking..why the hell can't I do that! ;D
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Hi @moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233), this is definitely one of my recent favourites of yours. The bass sound was very rhythmic and deep and the sparse guitaring very effective. The whole production really pulls you in to a strange yet hypnotic world. You are a better dancer than the skeleton though! 😀
A very atmospheric piece and unusual subject matter too. Well done on this one.
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Hola, I love the music to this one it's a very cool song and your voice was great too you have such a creative mind and so unique. nice work!
Hola @StevieJ (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22834)
I appreciate your words, thank you!
Mora
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You never fail to surprise with your innovative and eclectic arrangements, I always end up thinking..why the hell can't I do that! ;D
Wow!!! Thank you so much for your feedback!
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Hi @moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233), this is definitely one of my recent favourites of yours. The bass sound was very rhythmic and deep and the sparse guitaring very effective. The whole production really pulls you in to a strange yet hypnotic world. You are a better dancer than the skeleton though! 😀
A very atmospheric piece and unusual subject matter too. Well done on this one.
Thank you very much @MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274)
Stay well
Mora
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@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233)
Mora,
Hi I’m sitting on the beach in the Indian Ocean just letting you lush music just wash over me. All the trademark sounds are there, swaying rhythms, exotic vocals and mysterious little Middle Eastern strings too.
Fab production and bass and guitars - whoever Marcus is great work!
Thank you
:-)
Neil
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@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233)
Mora,
Hi I’m sitting on the beach in the Indian Ocean just letting you lush music just wash over me. All the trademark sounds are there, swaying rhythms, exotic vocals and mysterious little Middle Eastern strings too.
Fab production and bass and guitars - whoever Marcus is great work!
Thank you
:-)
Neil
Hola @Neil C (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18856)
You are a lucky man, I haven't smelled the sea in a long time, nor heard it in situ... How good!!! Thanks for your blue comment!
Stay well
Mora