The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Skub on April 30, 2022, 09:02:51 PM
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A new one for appraisal or enjoyment,or just to vent your spleen.
I do love a well vented spleen. 8)
https://soundcloud.com/skub1955/room-54/s-c4ecpNmOQzF?utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing
They wake you up,then lay you down
The part in between
Is just waiting around
The TV plays the same old shows
Groundhog day
From beginning to close
When your time is over And your picture's on that door
They won't need locks to keep you there
In room 54
The window shows the world outside
A million miles away
From your bedside
When your time is over And your picture's on that door
They won't need locks to keep you there
In room 54
Your life's been lived and your time is done
The last great battle
Just can't be won
When your time is over And your picture's on that door
They won't need locks to keep you there
In room 54
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I really enjoyed listening to your song!
It is the last song I listen to today and it has left me with a very nice feeling.
Stay wellllll!!!!
Mora
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Powerful stuff despite being well-controlled and tastefully performed.
I like the way the drums ebb and flow instead of being all-in like I'd probably have done.
Great descending hook and the vocal (and harmony) sounds excellent!
I liked what I caught of the lyrics too...I'd love to see them so I can sing along next time :)
I wasn't going to gush over your guitar playing again...but I feel duty-bound to do so...I often think it's the things that I'm not so good at that I admire most in others...and your control and precision always knocks me out.
Great song!
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Man, I love them guitars. That wailing, tremelo type effect that opens it - just full of atmosphere, right off the starting blocks... it reminds me of Bowie's "Slow Burn" track where Pete Townshend played the lead to similar effect.
Lyrically too it is just the right side of cryptic - I get a sense it is about birth and death, but I like the way you don't lay it on with a trowel, and don't explain exactly what Room 54 is/was. "They won't need locks to keep you there in room 54: love that line, coz it can be read both ways - 1) pessimistically, you won't need locks because you can't go anywhere coz you is dead, or 2) optimistically, the locks can't constrain you anyway coz your spirit will be free as a bird. Well that's how I read it anyway and I love that ambiguity.
It's over too soon. Really liked it.
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The guitars really shine in this, Lyrics are edgy and well crafted! nicely done !
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Lyrics now added. Sorry for the omission folks.
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This really is fabulous @Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061) It hit me straight from the opening guitar riff. Love the lyrics, there's just a bit of mystery about them to keep the listener intrigued. Beautiful guitar work and I always love your Big O Style harmony vocals. An absolute cracker of a tune :)
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@Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061)
Hi Davy, great guitars on this one, super playing. Loved the harmonies and the way the song is weaved together.Excellent!
Cheers
Jamie
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This is great Davy @Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061) - such a smooth sound. Lovely vocal and fab guitars I gotta say. Made me sad - put me in mind my mother’s current place of residence and situation (nursing home and dementia).. the picture on the door… song and lyrics had a big impact on me. Thank you for writing and sharing this.
K
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Hi Skub
Really enjoyed that. I've missed your voice and harmonies and guitar picking!
I really like the "When you're time is over..." line. A really nice melody and harmony, although for some reason the "...in Ro-oo-om 54" descending line doesn't quite gel with me. I might have preferred a simple single note resolution to the line. But it's a tiny thing, and I only mention it as I'm always determined to find something to observe/suggest in these critiques.
A sad song, too. I think when we get to a certain age some lyrics that would previously pass us by can hit the mark. Music's the same, too. Stuff we're into, or that speaks to us (or for us) is going to be very different at 17 to 47 to 67. So yes, the lyrics made me a little sad and wistful, which is a very good thing, as that's what we want to do with our work - affect and move people.
Don't really want to talk about the playing or arranging, as that's not the song - but it's all really well done. I felt that there was a little too much music happening between the first chorus and the second verse. We're into the song, and then suddenly there's the musical interlude already. But I think I've mentioned something similar in your work previously, and I think it's your arranging style.
A great song. Well done and thank you.
Cheers
Derek
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Whato Davy @Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061)
Smooth man, you're so good at this, nice to hear the springs of the trem.
I do agree with @delboy and his R-oo-m 54 split over beats.
Great playing and I particularly like the space you give the song.
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"Groundhog day in room 54"... Some sad lyrics. Your music have to open the door and leave this room.
Beautiful, calm melody, excellent sounding guitars.
Quality layers of the vocals in the chorus.
Listening to it is well.
Maya
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"Groundhog day in room 54"... Some sad lyrics. Your music have to open the door and leave this room.
Beautiful, calm melody, excellent sounding guitars.
Quality layers of the vocals in the chorus.
Listening to it is well.
Maya
Hola @Maya Clars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22624)
Thank you, your words are always very nice. I really appreciate your comment.
Big kiss
Mora
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Good song!
The first three lines sum up the song really well. The `picture on the door` is a bit puzzling. Great ´harmonica like´sound on the guitar solo!
/Martin
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@Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061) beautiful heart wrenching guitar riff, really echoes the sad sentiment of the lyrics, there’s definitely a nod to Bowie’s slow burn, which is a brilliant track as is this, really enjoyed the harmonies too - loved it!👌
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Great guitar intro sets this up really well. I like the lyrics to this song. It a classic soft rock feel to it which I really like. I enjoyed this. No crits here. :)
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@Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061)
Loads to like from the guitar intro to the harp solo.
All in a lovely tune well sung, and like the breakdown too.
Really liking it
:-)
neil