The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: MonnoDB on November 28, 2021, 09:21:47 PM
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Hi all..
Catching up on the forum tonight and I'll get to more over the coming days, some great stuff floating about..
A new one from yours truly and the wonderfully talented @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) .. a love song with a bit of a dark undertone (surprise surprise! :) )..
All and any words of feedback wisdom will be more than welcome as we get some distance from it - as usual it's come together quickly from demo to this... and we're reeling a little as we've discovered this is the 30th song we've done together... Not entirely sure how that came about cos it certainly doesn't feel like we've been at this long enough for this to happen.. Time flies when you're having fun, I guess! And this one no less fun than any of the previous 29... :)
Thanks in advance for giving it a listen! Please share your crits and comments as we appreciate your ears and your expertise...
I don’t want you to go
I want you to stay
But I can’t let you know
That I’m so afraid
I know that you think
It’s a casual affair
And that love has no place
In the game that we play
You’re the reason I breathe
You’re the push and the pull in my days
And I know that I shouldn’t need
You to lead the way
But I need you, I need you to be there
So I can breathe
I fear if I show
That my love hasn’t waned
But instead it has grown
That I’ll scare you away
You’re the reason I breathe
You’re the push and the pull in my days
And I know that I shouldn’t need
You to lead the way
But I need you, I need you to be there
So I can breathe
A chance I take
A choice I made
To feel but hide the fear inside
To go so far
And then retreat
To show the the want, conceal the need
You’re the reason I breathe
You’re the push and the pull in my days
And I know that I shouldn’t need
You to lead the way
But I need you, I need you to be there
Do you need me to need you to be there?
So I can breathe
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Hola @MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875)
Happy to see you back!!!!
I cannot criticize anything, I liked everything, the style, the atmosphere, the voice, the arrangement, lyrics, the chorus, which I love, it is very catchy but also ,pvomg, an unbeatable work, I think. congratulations!!!!!
Big kiss for you from your fan from Madrid.
See you soon
Mora
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hi
I've said it before
at time you remind me of Morrissey
He does have a nasty bite in his writing (which i like)
He's not half as good a singer as you and not as industrious, but
maybe if you listened, imagined yourself singing "let me kiss you" by Moz. you might know what i mean.
the song is lovely
engaging lyrics, great sound, stunning voice
ah but I think the jazzy twist is a lot fun
is that Jambrains? excellent, really enjoyable.
helluva of a band here!
why not dig into the jazz thing completely, however briefly?
in any case keep 'em coming guys!
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Another great number from the 2 of you. I really like the Chorus especially the final chorus/outro, very powerful. But then that fade out! Nooooo not for me ;D
Great song!
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Thanks guys for the listen - wow it is a bit quiet around here at the mo, right? I thought it had picked up a bit but apparently not..
@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) thank you so much - you're always so kind! And your comments are very much appreciated! You live in Madrid? I think I didn't know that - I lived there for a year MANY years ago (near Quatro Caminos - fun and crazy days)... Graçias!!!
Hey @rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) - thank you.. Interesting re Morrissey - I listened to that song and yes I think I know what you mean (great lyrics but even darker than my stuff I think!!).. Yes that is @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) .. and I agree, it's fab!! Interesting suggestion.. Thanks a mill...
@PeteS (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22588) - thanks a mill for the listen and the comments.. yes the outro was fun!! Noted re fade out.. Thanks so much...
Thanks all! :)
K
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This is a very beautiful ear worm, Love the music and writing......really love the vocal.
Great melodic hook!!
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Another nice song from you guys..really enjoyed the jazzy interlude & the descending bass piano towards the end. Marvellous production although I was disappointed that it faded out when it did with everything building up. I`d definitely buy the 12 inch six minute version. :). You both work so well together @MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) & @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) . Lovely jubs.
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.. a love song with a bit of a dark undertone (surprise surprise! :) )..
'Dark undertone'... I can't say I noticed... ;)
OK that was Super Lush... Loved it... Vocals, Lyrics, Jazzy Sound & Production...
Call me Mad... But I'm getting a mild case of 'Kate Bush' in the vocals...? OK OK I'll get my coat...
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@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) and @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875),
You always present the clearest recordings. This is a great mood song with lovely instrumentation. I always admire songs that are constructed with lyrics that fit the musical framework so precisely. This is a really cool song that connects on an emotional level. Super m8 section too!
Well done
Paul
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Hi Karen/JB,
Very nice minimalism in the verses, builds nicely into the chorus.
The drums have a healthy thud to them which helps set off the tinkling keys, especially during the bridge.
Now Rightly mentions Morrisey I hear exactly where he's coming from. You have that edginess in delivery.
As always, the production is exceptional. The vocal handling is brill - please send a tip sheet for mixing like that as I struggle big time on every production.
I would say 50% of my time is spent trying to mix the vocals in properly (and i'm rarely happy with the result. Either sounds too loud, too soft, too much reverb/not enough.
Seemed to close of rather abruptly.
Digger
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Hi @MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) and @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) Absolutely loved this guys. It is mighty quiet around these parts these days. It's a shame. The atmospherics are superb and vocals sounding top quality Karen. I loved the breakdown into 3/4 and Johans guitar on the outro. Top quality stuff
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@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) thank you so much - you're always so kind! And your comments are very much appreciated! You live in Madrid? I think I didn't know that - I lived there for a year MANY years ago (near Quatro Caminos - fun and crazy days)... Graçias!!!
Hola @MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820)
Yes, we live in Madrid, well, 15 kms. Although we are urbanites we prefer to live in the countryside, the views, the air and the tranquility are important.
Cuatro Caminos hahaha I lived near there for a year, I had a beautiful attic with a huge terrace. I was very young. What times of laughter.
Big kiss for you
Mora
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Ah bollocks!
I wrote a long (and slightly gushing) review and clicked “post” and then got some bullshit “you are not allowed to post in this section” twaddle…and everything I had typed was gone. Drag.
In summary…I thought this was really wonderful. Vocals have a beautiful fragile quality to them that’s really appealing.
JBs production is excellent, as ever…and I’m amazed at how you two are able to keep improving when you were so good in the first place.
I always love your songs!
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Hey @PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) - (again) lovely to see you back and I thank you for those lovely comments.. Well it's lovely to hear that we're not getting worse :) ! Honestly it's still as exciting (for me at least) as it was at the very beginning.. Thanks again!
@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) yes I was too v young when I lived there... great memories... I remember frequenting a bar called Dylan way too much! :)
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) thanks so much for those lovely comments - yes I love that jazzy break too! Lovely to sing to.. You're as always very kind..
Hey @digger72 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=9823) - delighted you liked it.. Can't help you with the vocal mix obviously - all @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) .. I will say though that Katja always sounds fab on your tracks.. That's gas about the Morrissey ref.. I'd never have thought it but I kinda think I see where you're both coming from.. You're just calling me mean, really lol! :) ... Thanks again...
@Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231) - thanks a mill.. Interesting comment re the lyrics connecting with the music.. all down to @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) - it's actually JB matching the track to the lyric as he builds the track around a raw vocal track..
@Fletch (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22851) thanks so much.. Kate Bush, eh? If only... Thanks for the listen and the lovely comments..
@5 guys named Lars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22535) - you are too kind.. yeah, I do love working with the Swede :) ! Noted re fade out - not the first time that's been mentioned.. Thanks again...
@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) - thanks a mill for your lovely comments - delighted you liked it.
Thanks all... :)
K
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Hi Karen,
You and Jambrians have really clicked and produced some wonderful stuff, and this one is right up there with my favourites :)
Beautifully produced and your voice is really stellar. Love the "love song with a bit of a dark undertone (surprise surprise!" lyrics :o
Sometimes I worry about you ;D LOL! I have no crits, as I'm certainly no expert ::) All I know, is that I loved listening to this song :)
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Thanks so much @crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947) .. you are always so kind! Really chuffed that you like it..
Look forward to hearing more of your music... :)
K
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Congrats on 30 songs together guys!!🥳🏆 That’s really quite the accomplishment! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 of course the real accomplishment is that there’s not a naff one among ‘em!🤩🤩👍🏻
This is fab! Yep, I too like the jazzy change up and how it all goes off at the end….that’s great arranging. No nits from me this time…just enjoyed listening.😄🍻🍻
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Hi, sorry I'm slow to get to this one. Standouts for me were 1) the sounds of the guitars (the acoustic sounds fantastic, as does that 'surf guitar' / 'spy movie' guitar thing you've got going on), 2) the dynamics of the track overall (plenty of cliffs and troughs, sometimes changing gear in clever and unexpected places), 3) the bravery & vision to have a complete change of mood and tone in the middle jazz section (it works). I think I'd agree with Pete on the fade out, but then, I'm apparently allergic to fade-outs. Congratulations on the big 3-0 guys, keep going for the century...
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@MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875)
Well guys, I see your quality hasn't deteriorated in the time I've been absent from the site. Star quality performances and great production, as expected. Loved the jazz hand-brake turn, that was a nice touch.The guitar outro had a touch of Jimmy Page about it, which is always good!
Excellent!
Jamie
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I first listened to this one a few weeks ago. It blew my skirt up then and still does.
I could witter on about quality and class,but when it comes down to it Karen,you and Johan have a special musical understanding and everything works so well.
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Beautiful and pure love confession.
Beautiful neatly performed vocal part with very gentle backing vocals that pleasing ears.
The song is gradually filling with a rock sound and I love it.
Maya
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Final bump to say thanks before I let this finally sink :)
@Maya Clars (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22624) thank you !
@Skub (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20061) - ah that skirt again :) !! You'd wanna watch that in this cold weather! Thanks - and great to see you around these parts again!
@Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) - hello stranger and welcome back! Thanks for those great comments..
@PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) - muchos gracias!
@LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) how lovely of you to say... Thank you!
K
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I've been wanting to get to this one forever and now it looks like all the really nice complimentary things I would like to say have been said! ;D I always, always, always love your vocals and the production never fails to inspire a bit of envy in me. Awesome work!