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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: rightly on November 18, 2021, 10:45:19 AM

Title: come away death
Post by: rightly on November 18, 2021, 10:45:19 AM
I put the music to this many years ago in a theatre production of 12th night.
Apart from singing party guest I played Antonio and later in the play a priest.
Was all good fun.

link

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly/come-away-death-1?si=f80c318fbd684eb58b40c1faa5c0eda7


Lyrics

come away, death


Come away, come away, death
And in sad cypress let me be laid
Fly away, fly away, breath
I'm slain by a fair cruel maid
My shroud of white stuck all with yew
O, prepare it
My part of death, no one so true
Did share it

Not a flower, not a flower, sweet
On my black coffin let there be strown
Not a friend, not a friend greet
My poor corpse, where my bones shall be thrown
A thousand thousand sighs to save
Lay me, O, where
Sad true lover never find my grave
To weep there


shakespeare & rightly
Title: Re: come away death
Post by: pompeyjazz on November 18, 2021, 07:08:03 PM
Interesting @rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) and very good of Bill to lend you a helping hand. There are some interesting interweaving musical sequences to compliment your intriguing vocals. Yet another fascinating listen  :)
Title: Re: come away death
Post by: Paulski on November 21, 2021, 03:16:45 AM
Feck! That's an awesome poem you and Shakey put together here @rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219)
I'm always a fan of your work - it's.. peerless! :D

Good stuff
Paul
Title: Re: come away death
Post by: rightly on November 22, 2021, 11:28:05 AM
Quote from: Paulski on November 21, 2021, 03:16:45 AM
Feck! That's an awesome poem you and Shakey put together here @rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219)
I'm always a fan of your work - it's.. peerless! :D

Good stuff
Paul

There's some really talented folks on this forum.
I'm often humbled round here, it's good for me.
Title: Re: come away death
Post by: moraamarolaloba on November 23, 2021, 06:45:30 PM
Hola @rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219)
No había visto esta canción!!!

I read the lyric before listening to the song and I was worried but then I heard you and I thought ... This man flies high dying in his song ;)

Outside of jokes, it is a very intimate song, with frasses that lead me to other Shakespearean stories, as you indicate but always being you.
I really liked the particular arrangement that surrounds the song and I love seeing you play with your voice, another way to fly.

Stay well
Mora
Title: Re: come away death
Post by: 4Below on November 24, 2021, 01:45:48 PM
it's a wee bit out there for my tastes, some nice instrumental nuances (bit bassy in the mix which made it a bit muddy, I had to turn my phones down .. and I like bass!)
I was getting shades of bowie in his more experimental phase which really is no bad thing. Lyrically it didn't really connect with me but probably because it was such an unusual source point but that's not really and issue to me its more of a sonic journey - I'm not sure it would make it on to my daily playlist but It was a cool thing to listen to and I'm glad you shared it
Title: Re: come away death
Post by: ChrisPrice on November 25, 2021, 12:14:27 AM
Well you know what I think. You're so fearless with your music and I love it!! I just don't know how you do this stuff. I'm a rock n roller and I'm not adventurous like this, but I'm full of admiration. Great track :)
Title: Re: come away death
Post by: rightly on November 25, 2021, 08:53:54 AM
Quote from: 4Below on November 24, 2021, 01:45:48 PM
it's a wee bit out there for my tastes, some nice instrumental nuances (bit bassy in the mix which made it a bit muddy, I had to turn my phones down .. and I like bass!)
I was getting shades of bowie in his more experimental phase which really is no bad thing. Lyrically it didn't really connect with me but probably because it was such an unusual source point but that's not really and issue to me its more of a sonic journey - I'm not sure it would make it on to my daily playlist but It was a cool thing to listen to and I'm glad you shared it

interesting post!

oh, I'm "out there" to stay!!

I like bass too,
TBH, I think my expensive studio phones are lying to me, I never trust them.
I've been off with bass before, but this sounds good to me on a good system, (or from my phone)
It's difficult to side step Bowie, as he was playful, a skinny English white fella.

Lyrically, I like the classics but not exclusively. I like hip hop lyrics too.
I hope you enjoyed the listen.
Title: Re: come away death
Post by: MonnoDB on November 28, 2021, 08:57:25 PM
I hear you've dug out the harp again @rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219)

The funny thing about this is I would have believed it (not being familiar with this particular Shakespeare rhyme) if you told us you'd written the lyric too..

I think it's a very suitable melody and production for the words...

Inventive as always - very impressive!

K

Title: Re: come away death
Post by: rightly on November 30, 2021, 10:38:55 AM
Quote from: MonnoDB on November 28, 2021, 08:57:25 PM
I hear you've dug out the harp again @rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219)

The funny thing about this is I would have believed it (not being familiar with this particular Shakespeare rhyme) if you told us you'd written the lyric too..

I think it's a very suitable melody and production for the words...

Inventive as always - very impressive!

K



yes, the harp is really something, m'thinks.

The lyrics are lovely, I could never do that, they're from another time.

exciting times for me musically.
Title: Re: come away death
Post by: digger72 on December 05, 2021, 03:20:01 PM
Hi Rightly,

Sounds theatrical for sure.
Has a grand feel to it, but also a somehow creates a sense of loneliness through the vocal.
You've put the Bard to good use.

Digger
Title: Re: come away death
Post by: rightly on December 05, 2021, 10:12:17 PM
Quote from: digger72 on December 05, 2021, 03:20:01 PM
Hi Rightly,

Sounds theatrical for sure.
Has a grand feel to it, but also a somehow creates a sense of loneliness through the vocal.
You've put the Bard to good use.

Digger

Thanks digger.
That's a good description.
I like the theatrical in the right place.
And also exploring the human condition. This poem contemplates mortality.
I think I might be finding my voice.