The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: IronKnee on September 12, 2021, 07:16:16 AM
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Hi Everyone.............gotta new one. All comments welcome, while first impressions are most welcome
Thanks, in advance!
-Tom
Before The Fall
Words & Music by Tom Tognaci
https://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14311019
Before the fall, I didn’t care to know
what peril may lay up ahead,
while going with the flow
Swept away beyond and on and on, and on and on, and on and on …..
….I should have seen
the signs all around me;
from the calm, into the rapid’s squall,
from the omens we ignored,
to that one last final call….
….right before the fall
Before the fall, I failed to take a stand
When they came for the retrogrades,
they weren’t my fellow man
So, the purge went…… one by one, by one, by one, by one, by one, by one …..
….Each time they came,
they came for someone new
With each time, I’d pretend not to see
And, when they kicked at my door,
there was no one left for me…
….who’d stand up for me.
Before the fall, I did not understand
Me, in my ordinary life, just living out my plan
While the world spun ‘round and ‘round, and ‘round and ‘round, and ‘round and ‘round, and ‘round ….
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Hi @IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409), Tom - an interesting theme. Sad and insightful... Not sure what "fall" you're referring to but it could apply to so many situations across the ages..
As always your vocal and guitar are a treat - perfect, straightforward arrangement to carry the weight of the words.
Really enjoyed this one...
Karen
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Hi Tom,
As always, you play brilliantly…do you always record live to one track? That’s cool if you do….😄👍🏻 Intriguing lyrics that could be about any number of situations I guess. Lovely melody too…sounds like you were opening up some candy at 1.53 maybe?? 🤪 (never a wrong time for that!😆🤦🏼♂️)
Sooo yeah….good job mate….I also liked the way you ended it on the guitar, nice little touch.😄👍🏻🤩
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good song
i like the sound of the guitar in particular
the lyrics also resonate
you often post these high quality productions
You really are an asset to the forum.
Keep them coming!
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Hola @IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409)
I really liked what you transmit accompanied by the guitar. I think that nothing else is needed here, just the guitar and your voice, it is an intimate song, very personal, deep, special.
I liked hearing you in this style.
Mora
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Hi @IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409), Tom - an interesting theme. Sad and insightful... Not sure what "fall" you're referring to but it could apply to so many situations across the ages..
As always your vocal and guitar are a treat - perfect, straightforward arrangement to carry the weight of the words.
Really enjoyed this one...
Karen
Hi Karen....thanks so much for listening and commenting.
The song's narrative is focused after the fall, and what you are listening to are the confessions of those who witnessed the fall and never did anything to stop it from happening.
Thanks, again!
Hi Tom,
As always, you play brilliantly…do you always record live to one track? That’s cool if you do….😄👍🏻 Intriguing lyrics that could be about any number of situations I guess. Lovely melody too…sounds like you were opening up some candy at 1.53 maybe?? 🤪 (never a wrong time for that!😆🤦🏼♂️)
Sooo yeah….good job mate….I also liked the way you ended it on the guitar, nice little touch.😄👍🏻🤩
Hi lostboy..........I usually use 4-Trks. two for guitar and two for vocal. I usually write the songs, record them.....and then move on. There is sooooo much activity in, and outside of my house, that it is just too hard to keep the recordings really clean. The opening of the candy sound is me in my "squeeking" chair positioning myself right before I begin...................I'm too lazy to re-take.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
good song
i like the sound of the guitar in particular
the lyrics also resonate
you often post these high quality productions
You really are an asset to the forum.
Keep them coming!
Thanks Rightly..............I appreciate the kind words.
Hola @IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409)
I really liked what you transmit accompanied by the guitar. I think that nothing else is needed here, just the guitar and your voice, it is an intimate song, very personal, deep, special.
I liked hearing you in this style.
Mora
Thanks M...........it's always nice to hear from you!
Thanks, once again!
-T
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Very nice song @IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) ..beautifully sung and I like the way you`ve recorded the guitar. Nice oblique lyrics too. Super stuff. :)
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This is great, Tom. Loved the stripped down arrangement. I think the melody / performance grows with the song - seemed a little hesitant, possibly intentionally, in the first verse but as the song progressed everything got stronger, and the emotion much stronger. On a second listen I'm pretty sure that this is intentional and I love that ebb and flow. Love the idea and the lyrics, too. Brilliant. well done.
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Very nice song @IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) ..beautifully sung and I like the way you`ve recorded the guitar. Nice oblique lyrics too. Super stuff. :)
Thanks, Five Guys Named Lars..............You are appreciated. Thanks for the kind comments.
This is great, Tom. Loved the stripped down arrangement. I think the melody / performance grows with the song - seemed a little hesitant, possibly intentionally, in the first verse but as the song progressed everything got stronger, and the emotion much stronger. On a second listen I'm pretty sure that this is intentional and I love that ebb and flow. Love the idea and the lyrics, too. Brilliant. well done.
Delb0y...........wow....where have you been?
Very nice to hear from you. You just sorta dropped off the Earth's horizon for a while.
And ya.........it is intentional. The song's narrative is focused AFTER the fall, and what you are listening to are the confessions of those who witnessed the fall and never did anything to stop it from happening. That's the story behind the song.
So good to hear from you....are you going to stick around?
-Tom
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I've said this before Tom, but wish I could fingerpick like that. I great vocal as usual and nice lyrics. Excellent song. :)
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I've said this before Tom, but wish I could fingerpick like that. I great vocal as usual and nice lyrics. Excellent song. :)
Thanks, Chris!!
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@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) ,
You've a lovely timbre to your voice. I also love to hear acoustic guitar only as a supporting instrument. It ensures that we can admire this song in all it's beauty.
Well done!
Paul
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@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) ,
You've a lovely timbre to your voice. I also love to hear acoustic guitar only as a supporting instrument. It ensures that we can admire this song in all it's beauty.
Well done!
Paul
Thanks Paul...........Your generous words are much appreciated!
-Tom
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@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) - evening Tom, lovely intimacy right from the off, really dig this...some lovely lyrical ideas by oneby one, that's a great hook.
Is that an interupted cadence at the end, I can't remember...
From a production point the acc gtr seems rather swung over to the right, maybe it's me, or it was intentional, but a little distracting for me.
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Lovely song Tom, I'm trying to think of something critical but can't find anything. Nice playing, singing (your voice changes - sounds like two people almost!) and production, and the lyrics are fab. I like the way you return to themes (the 'on and on' and then later 'one by one'), and the song length is perfect. I'm about to listen to more on your site now, keep up the ace work :)
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@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409) - evening Tom, lovely intimacy right from the off, really dig this...some lovely lyrical ideas by oneby one, that's a great hook.
Is that an interupted cadence at the end, I can't remember...
From a production point the acc gtr seems rather swung over to the right, maybe it's me, or it was intentional, but a little distracting for me.
Hey there cowparsleyman..........thanks for listening and commenting.
And yes....the guitar was slightly panned right, while the vocal was panned slightly left. Looking to develop some depth, here.
Thanks!
Lovely song Tom, I'm trying to think of something critical but can't find anything. Nice playing, singing (your voice changes - sounds like two people almost!) and production, and the lyrics are fab. I like the way you return to themes (the 'on and on' and then later 'one by one'), and the song length is perfect. I'm about to listen to more on your site now, keep up the ace work :)
Hey, thanks for listening. I'm glad you picked up on the "two voices". The song's narrative is focused after the fall, and what you are listening to are the confessions of those who witnessed the fall and never did anything to stop it from happening.
I'm glad you liked it!
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Ah I see, good stuff Tom. Yes I did like it, or do rather :)
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Ah I see, good stuff Tom. Yes I did like it, or do rather :)
Thanks, again!
-Tom