The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: hariad on August 03, 2021, 10:42:16 PM
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A song for my ex boyfriend, who started dating the girl he told me not to worry about, Grace. I wanted the end to jar with the tone of the song, but have I gone too far?!
I also feel like it should be longer, but I'm not really sure how to add another section...thoughts welcome!
https://soundcloud.com/hari_ad/go-with-grace
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i liked it
maybe a bit short
in a while you might get more distance, or even closure
return to it and round it off some.
lovely voice and performance
Well done!
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Hola @hariad (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22818)
It is a very beautiful, delicate and poetic song. I would love you to share the lyrics to understand even better what you say.
I love the piano and the melody, I think the piece does not need anything else, the atmosphere is right and the final laugh enchants me !!!
Mora
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Hey, I thought this was super. 1) You've got a fantastic voice. 2) The arpeggios on the piano flow really well. 3) The title - well done for turning that person's name into a line that works so well as another meaning! You wouldn't really know it was about being cheated on, if it wasn't for your explanation above and the final line. I think that's a good thing - so people can read into it what they need to. As for the final line... yeah, maybe gone a bit far in my opinion... I felt introducing the twist (that Grace is a person) is really great, but the current lyrics for it jar a little with the elegance of the rest of the lyrics... could you do something similar but with a different line? Keep the laugh though. ;-) Anyway, super track... And I'm sure it's his loss not yours. Hope to hear some more of your stuff.
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@hariad (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22818)
Lovely piano and delicate vocals.
Does what it needs to do, simply and with brevity. I wouldn't change it, leave the listener wanting more.
Love the laugh at the end.
:-)
neil