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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Melusine2 on July 28, 2021, 05:02:03 PM
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Hello, new compo in French only built with loop :)
Not very rocky 😁, hope not to bad 🤔
Will try to comment next week also 😁
https://soundcloud.com/cecile_333/instru2
Un jour plus Dans ma ville
Un jour de plus Qui scintille
Tout semble si tranquille
Pourtant à l’équilibre si fragile
Une nuit Dans ma ville
Une nuit de plus qui s’allume
Où tout s’agite
tout ce monde qui fourmille
Chorus Dans ma ville
Ou tout semble si futile
Où les senteurs vacillent
Jour et Nuit on se délient
Dans ma ville
On se mélange et s’assagie
Se perd nos âmes affaiblies
Dans ma ville
Ou tout semble si tranquille
Ou les amours fourmillement
dans ma ville
On se cherche et on se lie
On se perd dans nos envies
Pont Dans ma ville, quelque soit le jour ou la saison On se confond
En quête d’amour éternel d’espoir de tendresse
Verse
Au printemps Dans ma ville
Une saison de plus Qui se glisse
Où les gens fourmillent
Où les amours se multiplient
Dans ma ville
A l’automne L’été indien un de plus
De Nos errances perdues
Où naissent nos idylles
Nourries de sérotonines
Dans ma ville
A l’avenir incertain
Où les prédicateurs sibyllins
Ne pensent qu’à son déclin
Dans ma ville
On se mélange et se ravie
Dans ma ville
A l’amour incertain
On se confond D’amour internet,
D’espoir éternel.
Dans ma ville
Où les prédicateurs sibyllins
Ne pensent qu’à son déclin
Dans ma ville D’amour l’on se nourrit
A chaque pas l’on se sent grandit
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Hola @Melusine2 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22580)
C'est une très belle chanson, very feminine, soft and pleasant to listen. Very nice voice!!!
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Hiya! You have done a great job with the loop.😄👍🏻 The melody is lovely…maybe some backing vocals, harmonies might have made it even better?😊🤷🏼♂️ It’s lovely as it is though.🤩🎶🙌🏻🎶
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Hi - very elegant, slinky, funky track. It doesn’t sound like it was just loops, it sounds authentic - nicely constructed and I like the jump up with the vocals in the chorus. Nice work!
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As has already been said, doesn't sound just like loops - so very well done. It's a nicely constructed song. I especially like the vocal. I really like to hear songs sung in French. I learned to speak it when I was young but have forgotten much of it as I've got older. I must do something about that. Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed the song. :)
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@ChrisPrice (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22723), @PaulyX (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21034) @LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) @moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) merci à vous tous 😁, thank you for your feedbacks :)
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Hey @Melusine2 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22580) - I can't believe you built this from loops - very smooth sound.. Sultry vocals to match the theme. I really like the melody and it's lovely to hear you sing in French..
This must be only your second or third song, right? Very impressive - and I don't mean that in a condescending way - this stands up in its own right regardless but I think it makes it even more amazing, which is why I mention it!
More please!
K
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@Melusine2 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22580)
Nice groove and enjoyed your voice and vocal phrasing, against the guitar motif.
Rich and seductive
:-)
neil