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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: rightly on July 12, 2021, 11:02:42 PM

Title: What's Wrong With You? (pt.2)
Post by: rightly on July 12, 2021, 11:02:42 PM

I wanted to go back n' finish this song
So I left it a bit short, I have to move on

it was a lot fun at the time of writing
I did it real quickly

link

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly/whats-wrong-with-you

lyrics

what's wrong with you? (pt.2)


you're so very bad!
how did you come to be this way?
after curling my whiskers
y' call me up t' tell me that you're gay
  what's wrong with you, Aine?
you were supposed to do exactly what I say
what's wrong with you, honey?
show me what listening looks like, okay

n' I'm just too sad
right here with you so very far away
geographically retarded
I just might break the laws of gravity
put your panties back on
y' know it's cold out, this time o' year
what's wrong with you, Aine?
nothin' at all, not as far as I can see, my dear

I've got a healthy appetite
 don't say I didn't warn you

  y' wanna watch out, surrender

_______________________________

Rightly
Title: Re: What's Wrong With You? (pt.2)
Post by: ChrisPrice on July 13, 2021, 01:27:30 AM
@rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) We maybe along way apart musically, but I have a lot of admiration for your work and this is no exception. I won't claim to understand your lyrics here but they come over as being quite profound. The point is that you're pushing boundaries all the time which many of us don't do enough. I'm a fan..I enjoyed the listen very much. :)
Title: Re: What's Wrong With You? (pt.2)
Post by: man made material on July 13, 2021, 11:14:12 AM
@rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) well this one is bonkers, even for your normal boundary pushing work!😁… I’m confused, baffled, disoriented and a little lost, yet it’s addictive! I had to listen 4 times on the bounce, I don’t know how you do it, but you’ve uniquely done it again!😁👌
Title: Re: What's Wrong With You? (pt.2)
Post by: moraamarolaloba on July 13, 2021, 12:43:12 PM
Hola @rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219)
Eres terrible!!!
Hello, your lyrics draw themes of all colors and this one is really no exception ... hahaha What a situation !!! I liked the carefree way of telling the story, speaking-singing ...as well as the backing and you voice that in certain parts has a different color that I love.
Buen verano!!!!
Title: Re: What's Wrong With You? (pt.2)
Post by: PaulyX on July 13, 2021, 08:32:15 PM
Hi Rightly, this is terrific... very odd, defying all cliches.  Things I like in particular: the lilting piano, the reverb on your voice, the strange spectral guitar in the centre section, the lines about curling whiskers and being geographically retarded.  Trying to work out what it is about would be like doing a jigsaw with only 20% of the pieces, but that's no criticism... you know I dig your cryptic adventures.
Title: Re: What's Wrong With You? (pt.2)
Post by: rightly on July 14, 2021, 10:12:58 AM
Quote from: PaulyX on July 13, 2021, 08:32:15 PM
Hi Rightly, this is terrific... very odd, defying all cliches.  Things I like in particular: the lilting piano, the reverb on your voice, the strange spectral guitar in the centre section, the lines about curling whiskers and being geographically retarded.  Trying to work out what it is about would be like doing a jigsaw with only 20% of the pieces, but that's no criticism... you know I dig your cryptic adventures.

hi
I don't really get the confusion here
lol
it's just a portrait
an episode take from the story of 2 lovers

and the fact that the leading man
isn't a champion of the current concepts of politically correct
is unsettling for some.

funny
Title: Re: What's Wrong With You? (pt.2)
Post by: Unclenny on July 15, 2021, 10:33:02 AM
Love it, man! It is classic Rightly.

I like how the piano hangs out in the smoky background and how you move your vocals around at the end like that.
Title: Re: What's Wrong With You? (pt.2)
Post by: IronKnee on July 24, 2021, 06:04:53 AM
I like the unconventional movement of the music. Stream of consciousness?
Real time.........in the moment realism.
Dig it!!
                     -T