The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: digger72 on July 12, 2021, 07:00:29 PM
-
Hi All,
Hope all are well, and for England football fans - we were only warming up for the World Cup. All will be well in the end. :)
Songs are few and far between these days. What with work and lack of motivation it can be difficult to get things across the line. Seems it may be familiar to many as it seems fairly quiet in these parts.
Anyway, we are trying to work on some new material - life getting back to normal and all that. This song isn't as miserable as the title may suggest. Well, I don't think so. Gone for a Within Temptation/Evanescence vibe.
https://soundcloud.com/digger-72/my-dead-friend/s-bA8Wkm3Yi8w
Thanks for checking out and any feedback.
Digger & Katja.
My Dead Friend
I didn’t always show you
But, you should know that
I need you
I couldn’t stay home
Telling you I love you
I love you
It’s the voice inside me
Well, maybe I don’t want you
But I want to
Okay, I want you,
I maybe hollow
Confused
A lost driver
On a one way dark street
My mind it always
Blinds me
Takes me, turns me
But you would make me
And I will
I will tell you
My dead friend
You’re the hole in my world
Such a beautiful thing
But you had to leave me
My dead friend
You’re my beautiful love
You’re the whole of my world
And it’s six feet on me now
Forget
The words said
I couldn’t see it and
I lost my way but I
Found out
I’m bowed down
It’s a long way
From faded glory
Give me morphine
To face the mornin’
I had your love
An’ I got nowhere near
I wanna show you
I wanna see you
Bright lit
Bright lit for me
I feel your ghost
So close
You know that
I need you close
So close
I feel your ghost
So close
You know that
I need you close
So close
-
No comparison really but 'I Am The Walrus' kind of sprung to mind. I shouldn't say that because the lyrics are alarmingly dark and there's so much more to this song. I think this is absolutely brilliant. One of the best songs I've heard on the forums period. Love it...well done :)
-
Hola @digger72 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=9823)
Beautiful song and beautiful lyrics. I like very much this style. May be the voice could have a bit of more volume and reverb? The backing sounds great and seems to swallow your voice at certain times, at least on my speakers.
-
@digger72 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=9823) - Lovely song, beautifully arranged, everything sounding great. Reminds me of a song that a lead vocalist once wrote about his girlfriend who was dying of Leukemia he penned the compassionately titled "Down to Your Grave" - She was completely fine about it, so I put in the funeral march as the start of the Gtr solo, I did feel a bit awkward, but she used to come to all the band rehearsals and loved it, shame she was such a lovely girl.
Just a couple of things, I agree with @moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) about the verb on the LVox, maybe just a smidge more, it sounds though these (rather poor) cans that the LVox is lost abit when the gtrs are wound up. The drums come over a tad dry. The LVox could do with some BV's underpinning later in the piece, maybe balls out BV's would go well with the laid back LVox attitude.
Definitely nailed the Evansescence vibe.
I'm with you about the lack of inspiration, digger...
Just had a listen again with better cans (AKG 701s), the drums still sound a bit dry, might be an idea to stick a light Verb on the master buss...would wet up the whole thing equally. The LVox
Hope this helps...
-
Hey Digger, if you can make this when you lack motivation, I can't wait to hear what you produce when you're motivated...
It's really strong. Bags of dynamics. Interesting and unexpected chord sequence in the choruses. Katja's ice-queen vocals sound as great as ever and that sledge hammer distorted guitar really does the business when it kicks in. I must have said this before but fans of Garbage and Curve would really dig this I think... not that it's a copy but it touches similar places to their best stuff. It has a wide-screen, cinematic vibe to it.
-
@digger72 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=9823) this is a brooding cinematic piece - I agree with the Evanescence vibe, it’s a great vocal, maybe could be a touch higher in the mix, but it’s a beautiful arrangement overall with lots of drama. Great work!
-
this is quite intense
really like it
loads going on
beautiful voice running throughout
well done
-
So nice with a new TCS track!! :) :)
I get the Within Temptation/Evanescence reference but only partly. If that is what you are aiming for the guitars and drums do not work for me. Not playing nor sound.
That said, what you have is fab (but I'd still reconsider at least the guitar, sorry..)
Great "mood" in this as well as great vocals. The first part before the drums/electrics join is simply fab!
Good dynamics, ebb and flow.
Great stuff but has potential to be even better.
-
Sorry, but his song doesn't tickles my fancy. The melody is a montone at a max 4 notes repetitive pattern, and doesn't change much in either verse nor chorus.
I'm not saying I could do it better and don't want to be the party pooper. Just my humble opinion.
-
Hi @digger72 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=9823) Another walk on the dark side :D
Above my pay grade to review the production - sounds great to me though.
I think the chorus could lift a bit more - maybe change key or sing in a higher register there?
.. and I was waiting for a drum break :D
Quality stuff - well done!
Paul
-
Hi
I love the dark progressive vibe of this song as it reminds me of Opeth, Paatos territory. The melody never quite went where I was expecting them which makes it interesting.
I feel like some backing vocals could lift the chorus, but maybe at the expense of the darkness, so maybe not!
And the arrangement is fantastic.
James
-
Hey @digger72 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=9823) - how great to hear a new one from you and Katja. Lovely dark lyrics - some lovely lines there as always and that beautiful sultry voice over the heavy track is just wonderful..
As usual I’m just sitting back and enjoying every second of this fab track.
Love it!
Hear you on the inspiration - but I hope this will kick start you!
Such a fan of yours…..
-
I like this. There is a cool dynamic between the vocals and the instrumentation.
-
Great slow dark rock, original melody. Very beautiful timbre of voice. I listened it to several times.
Maya
-
Hi All,
Many thanks for checking out and the comments - good, not so good and constructive. :)
I'd be concerned if everyone liked our tracks - I can't stand RnB, most rap, etc., so always happy to receive - "not my cuppa" comments.
Been checking out some Curve missed them when they were around - they did some good stuff. Great cover of I Feel Love. Think I will have to delve deeper - could be some inspiration there.
Guitars - well, as a very limited player - it's always difficult for me - i'm just too lazy to practice or learn. I much worse now than I was several years ago.
Been doing a few tweaks based on the comments, so folk may have heard slightly different mixes.
By the way - it's not a song about death - it's a break up song.
Hope all are well.
Digger
-
Hey dude, just wanted to say that I enjoyed my listens. I love the whole vibe. I’m glad you are working your way through the drought…I’m going through a similar phase. This came out great though man…I especially enjoyed the last chorus.🎶🎶👊🏻🎶🎶
-
@digger72 (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=9823)
Delicate,cool and powerful.
Smart layering of the various instruments, especially the piano.
I think I'm with Paulski that the chorus could be lifted a bit over the verse.
Powerful, dark and insistent
Great work as ever
:-)
neil
-
Very hypnotically dark.
WOW.........very powerful. Should be a soundtrack for a movie.
Great performances!!!
Pretty cool!
-T