The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: man made material on April 09, 2021, 02:35:32 PM
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Now that I’ve been able to drag myself away from listening to @LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) track on repeat, I’d better share something myself...
I’ve been thinking about the fact that Voyager 2 is on it’s lonely trajectory into deep space after years of discovery in the solar system, I found it quite emotive, even though it’s an inanimate object... so this song is written as a message from Voyager 2 to us as it disappears into the void...
Lyrics:
It's cold
and getting darker,
I'm getting old
and falling farther away from you.
The things I've seen,
like something from a dream,
even wilder than your wildest fantasies.
It's years
since I left the warmth of you.
Your fears, my solitude, are worth the view.
I wish,
you were here,
to share this with me.
But I'll tell you everything, I will help you see.
We don't
talk as much as we used to do.
You knew
it would go this way as the years accrue.
There's no bitterness,
how could there be?
Our knowledge expands as I plummet through infinity.
https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/RRoLoV75hmhJgUqv5
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Mate! This is sooo good! First off, it’s just a great idea for a song.👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 You have produced it brilliantly. A real musical journey! The way it evolves and the sounds you use are just ace! The Bv’s are excellent...is that you? Maybe it’s the wife, but I suspect u just changed the formant on your harmonies? Either way they are brilliant! Great use of space (no pun intended.) My fave bit though is when the beat drops....it’s like the Voyager has hit a meteor storm, but then it bursts through to the other side into the true unknown of deep space. That’s just a great bit of musical storytelling.
Really well done mate. I LOVE IT!🌟🛸👊🏻🛸🌟😄
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Hi @man made material (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22704)
This catches the attention as soon as it starts. Brilliant choice of instrumentation for the theme of the song. What I like most about this is that it is so original both in concept and realisation. It sounds like nothing I have heard before which is really hard to pull off and still keep it a pleasure to listen to. My favourite lyrical piece is "We don't
talk as much as we used to do.
You knew
it would go this way as the years accrue."
This song is so out of the normal box we write in. A really superb achievment.
M
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Really enjoyed that
very stripped back, (I've a hard time stripping back, myself)
then the build toward the end is a lot of fun!
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@man made material (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22704) Great concept for a song, love it! Also, some great atmospheric synths throughout. Love the build towards the end.
I also really like the lyric of the last verse, it creates a personal connection with the Voyager. My only suggestion would be to sing that verse in a higher key, teeming with emotion, ( I thinking of the way Bowie shifts his vocal in Heroes ) which, besides adding to the dynamism of the track, would create a dramatic tension between the lyric and the vocal.
Super track, well done
Kevin
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@man made material (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22704) Excellent ambient atmospheric vibe - I love that pulsating synth riff that permeates the whole song, kind of a voyager heartbeat. Great bv's and effects - It really explodes into life at the end - I highly original and unique listen
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@LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) cheers mate! That’s really kind of you... Yep the BVs are me with a formant mod - what an amazing tool, I discovered and I used it for the first time while working on this track, looking forward to playing with it a bit more... the missus wouldn’t wish her singing on anyone!😂
@montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) thanks man, I was quite a fine line trying to evoke the sound of something in space without doing space sound cliches... I did allow myself one woosh! I really appreciate your comments👍
@rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) cheers! It was sooo tempting to add more bells and whistles😁, but keeping it stripped helped evoke the feeling of solitude I think👍
@kevysc (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19775) cheers, I imagine that for a lot of the guys who worked on voyager will have a real sense of loss as it takes longer to contact the probe and eventually loses contact all together, and even though it was inevitable that wouldn’t make it any less emotional and somehow the probe felt the same way... interesting point about a key change, I’ll have a play around with that and see the effect👍
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) thanks sir, great that you got the idea behind that synth riff that runs through the track - a heartbeat but also the feeling of constantly travelling👍
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I think you've quickly became quite a star around these parts, MMM...with a succession of excellent songs. This is really good and just manages to stay on the right side of the 80's for me...before it turned into the horror show it became from around 1986.
Great stylised vocals and the keyboard-y things do everything that could be asked of them.
Very nice work!
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Hola @man made material (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22704)
As always a special song, with your colors.
Today it is raining and the sound of your arrangement matches perfectly with the outside. Good atmosphere
Stay safe
Mora
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Hi Mr Man, very nice indeed. The first thing that struck me was the very human and fragile vocal set against the incessant electro arpeggio. It’s all very soothing musically until it all explodes at the end really jarring the listener, in a good way (!). Fittingly fades out as the journey continues...
Great synth textures and a great command of the drama of the song, using its structure to seal the message. Very accomplished, good on ya! ;) Some really good stuff coming from your camp.
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That analogue synth opening really drew me in, with the harmony gradually richening.
Lovely low melody, quite Depeche sounding with nice doubling at the octave. Holding the tuning on those low notes really well!
Builds really nicely, the drums came in just when I wanted them to not a moment too soon but making you wait properly.
Beautiful brought together piece of music!
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Nice development on this. May be an effect on the voice could fits better than in your version????
Anyway great sound and listen.
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@man made material (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22704)
Hi, what they all said..... Great song, great idea, brilliantly executed too. I used to like Ultravox (the Midge Ure version)back in the day, and I could have believed this was one of theirs.
Good stuff!
CHeers
Jamie
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@PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) thanks man! I agree, after about ‘86 I found most of my music in alternative and indie music rather than the charts, a lot less great stuff in the charts towards the end of the decade...
@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) thank you! 🙏
@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) cheers sir! I was hoping to humanise it a little with the vocal, glad it came through
@tboswell (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20223) very kind sir👍... I have to hold the low notes because I can’t hold the high ones!😁
@fischermans (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19014) thanks 🙏 I think in this one I want to keep the vocal as human as possible to contrast the synths👍
@Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) cheers sir👍 I’ve come to appreciate the Midge Ultravox in recent years, the Vienna album is great in particular
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I thought I would give this a very naughty bump... I don’t know if the title or subject matter is putting people off giving this a listen?... anyway I promise I’ll let this slide off the board now!