The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: tboswell on April 06, 2021, 04:28:01 PM
-
This is something I’ve been working on for a long time and apologies to those who don't like long songs, it is lengthy but it needs that time to tell the story.
It’s the first thing I’ve thrown out there in my new genre “angry dystopian disco”.
I’ve really tried here to have a different sound world from the guitar heavy work I often post, the writing approach is different and the arrangement hopefully to.
Lyrically influenced by the words @PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) I’ve recently realised too.
There are a lot on layers here, I’ll give you one hint. Half way through when there its a slightly ham-fisted modulation as “He’s really making a difference now”, it actually spends a lot of musical effort in a short space of time going nowhere. Same of music just comes back in the same old key. Heavy handed metaphor eh!?
Enjoy
Tom.
(THERE CAN BE ONLY) ONE MAN STANDS
(T J Boswell)
They took our freedom
Locked us away
They said “for our own good”
Guided by science
To stay in our homes
Protect our neighbourhoods
To muzzle and mask us they try
Brushing aside all outcry
And we all just mutely comply
Then one man stands
Alone
And says what he thinks is right
A virtuous soul in flight
One man stands
Alone
And fights for the right to choose
To make and then break the rules
For everyone
Everyone’s dying
To take back control
(Control we felt we had)
Shore up the borders
Built in our minds
(Between the good and bad)
Alternate facts will be brought to light
And many left battered and bruised by the fight
But none of that matters when you are right
And it feels so right
Now one man stands
Alone
For the decent, for common sense
Authenticity not pretence
That one man stands
Alone
Making the complex clear
Saying just what we want to hear
HE'S REALLY MAKING A DIFFERENCE NOW!
--------------------
One man stands
Alone
And voices our deepest fears
While dissenters just shout and jeer
One man stands
Alone
For progress that slowly nears
All he's asking is four more years
Just give him four more years
One man stands
Alone
Above all the babbling crowds
Looking down on us from the clouds
One man stands
Alone
To bring us a world renewed
Where everyone gets to choose
To vote in a poll where one man stands.
℗ 2020 T J Boswell
-
@tboswell (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20223)
There's some clever twists and turns going on here. I'm not going to say too much about the lyrics as it would be very easy to be outspoken about the way things have panned out over the past year and how things have been handled. Let's just say that you put over some strong sentiments in this song and well done for that. It's a long piece but that's fine as it moves in different directions and tells a story. Musically I think it's great. As you suggest, there's a lot of effort gone into this and it's paid off. I think it's great so no crits here. :)
-
Love how this one develops @tboswell (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20223) . Your vocals are super emotive....a seriously dynamic performance. Loving the backing vocals as well.
This whole production is a sonic feast, a cool melodic journey and a lyrical tour de force. My only quibble with the production is that it felt too short. 8)
-
This is absolutely superb Tom - I love the build, the deep, dark brooding atmosphere and the wonderful chord changes in and of minor and major. This needs multiple listens to appreciate everything that is going on and appreciate it. I love the lyrics as well and I love the last two lines "Where everyone gets to choose - To vote in a poll where one man stands."
This really is a top class piece of work and one of the best things that I have ever heard on the forum I reckon :) Glad you're back @tboswell (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20223) :)
-
@tboswell (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20223)
This is ambitious and very beautifully done. Your vocals are top notch and the arrangement/musical palette is superbly done. I'm not a fan of political statements in music so I'm not going to get into the rights and wrongs of your opinions. Basically, this is a great piece of work, beautifully realised and performed. Full of great ideas and a thoroughly pro=professional sounding track. Bravo sir!
M
-
Hey man this was a great listen. Your voice is top and production also. Nothing to criticise.
-
Hey Tom, great to hear something from you again. I love how you have produced this. Such an interesting composition. Lots of space, but then you add some great flourishes/cresendos here and there. I’m a big fan of songs where the music helps tell the story and you do that brilliantly here. That line “one man stands alone” is a sneaky little hook.
Again, your production on this is what is King for me. Excellent work mate.😄🎶👊🏻🎶
-
Hei, I like the singingmelody, was pleasantly surprised by the backingvocals. But the drumsounds seem to...how to say...artificial? at some points. To digital. I hope I say this right. I also like the layer of reverb on your voice at some point. Good guitarwork. 3 layers without bass?
-
some very cool touches here
great dynamics
excellent production
the backing singers - lovely
also super intelligent lyrics
with surprising twists
those bells are fabulous too
Really good stuff
-
Ah Tom = what a great voice - I've missed that around these parts.
As has been said - superb production and musically a treat to the ears.
Good hook - I totally disagree with the politics (if it's saying what I think it's saying about the incompetent oaf you just voted out ) but who listens to lyrical messages anyway? :D
Good stuff
Paul
-
@tboswell (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20223) I would echo the comments of others, superb epic production and plenty of variation to hold the interest throughout. In the old days, we would have called this a perfect "album track" :) Excellence on every musical level, well done!
Kevin
-
@tboswell (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20223) this is a real musical journey. Your voice sounds great, gentle and then powerful. There’s some great dynamic flourishes - those rumbling then soaring strings. I really like the almost gospel backing vocals too... some great melody and intelligent interesting lyrics... it’s a great listen!👌
-
This is really great, Tom.
Super vocals and piano...and a great hook...and then it builds and falls away again. And again. It's a work of art.
I'd love to think we'd one day find ourselves back in a world where people can be allowed to form whatever opinions they care to without being spoon-fed MSM drivel and speak their minds accordingly...and without being shouted down, belittled, demonised or labelled this that or the other. Anyway, I'll STFU now.
It's really fantastic to have you back posting songs again!
-
Thank you all for taking the time to listen the the feedback. I know it is a long listen and I really appreciate it.
I'm surprised no one complained about the extra 30secs+ of ambient noise at the end. I thought it was needed to absorb what came before, hopefully I got that right!
@Paulski (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19241) @ChrisPrice (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22723) @montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653)
I agree that very direct political statements are troublesome, I tried hard to not direct it at any one person on philosophy.
I see the the song more about keeping tabs on those we put our trust in, and holding them to their promises and their words.
Seems most dictators come in on a wave of popularity and only then take away freedoms from the people they were promising more freedom too.
Stay vigilant! It does always seem to be some old white man as well.
@PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253)
I'd love to think we'd one day find ourselves back in a world where people can be allowed to form whatever opinions they care to without being spoon-fed MSM drivel and speak their minds accordingly...and without being shouted down, belittled, demonised or labelled this that or the other. Anyway, I'll STFU now.
It's so hard to know who to trust these days. The MSM seems less trustworthy, but if you go in the net you can just as easily find something that confirms your bias, your tendencies to believe in. It is so hard to find some "truth" and so exhausting to try and be filter everything.
Less shouting and more listening to each other would go a long way to help....so I'll STFU :-X
@Veance (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22148)
the drumsounds seem to...how to say...artificial? at some points. To digital. I hope I say this right. I also like the layer of reverb on your voice at some point. Good guitarwork. 3 layers without bass?
Lots of layers of drums yes, deliberately digital and analogue sounding percussion all over.
And one ricky for the baseline but also double bass, voices and tuned percussion helping out. The "kitchen sink" as usual :)
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269)
This really is a top class piece of work and one of the best things that I have ever heard on the forum I reckon :) Glad you're back
You are making me blush now! Thanks mate :-[
-
@tboswell (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20223)
Hi, love the musicality and the theatre of the song. I don't agree with the politics of it. Who would wan to live in a system where you get the chance to vote for one candidate? (Like Putin in Russia?)
Great singing too btw.
Cheers
jamie
-
@Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125)
Hi, love the musicality and the theatre of the song. I don't agree with the politics of it. Who would wan to live in a system where you get the chance to vote for one candidate? (Like Putin in Russia?)
Thanks for the feedback! The song is totally sung by an unreliable narrator.
The message is really warning of those dictators who come to power telling a populist message, control the media and then shut down freedoms.
No one should live under such a regime. But in many western countries we are dabbling with leaders who use some of the same tools to control us. Beware!
-
Hola @tboswell (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20223)
encantada de conocerte. Nice to meet you.
I find your song is really actual describing so many things that are happening...
I really like the sound of your track and the development of the arrangement as well as the changes of expression in the voice.
Good song and good job
Stay safe
Mora