The Songwriter Forum - songwriting reviews, tips and chat
Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Unclenny on April 05, 2021, 12:43:24 PM
-
Where Are The Angels
https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=14225576
Where have we come to
Now that we've made this change
Who can help us now
'Cause we will not run
In spite of the dangers
Now that these seeds are sown
We should turn the page
But we don't know how
With all that we've done
Nothing's been won
So where are the angels
We should have known
From the lessons of history
All this has been made clear
We have been shown
The light in the distance
How will we know
What we are missing
And where we should go from here
'Cause with all that we've done
Nothing's been won
And where are the angels
This is where we've come to
Now that we've made this change
But we can't stop now
'Cause with all that we've done
Nothing's been won
-
Great bit of fingerpicking guitar and a pretty melody. Like the dressing around it, less an arrangement, more feels like solos tastefully framing the vocals and acoustic.
Like the electric guitar very much too. Felt the ending was a bit abrupt and could have been little more definite. Just kind of stopped.
Good work, a lovely listen.
-
@Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611)
This is a fabulous piece. I love the sparse vocal over some beautiful instrumentation. The lyrics seem very appropriate for the times. It's hard to come up with any crits for something as good as this. The only thing I'd say is that it ends a bit abruptly for me - I see this has been noticed by @tboswell (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20223) too, but that's all. Excellent. :)
-
@tboswell (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20223) @ChrisPrice (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22723) ....thanks to both of you for those kind words. Regarding that ending.......I was going for a full stop ending like that with the guitar but with some subtle echoing from the guitar and piano carrying out a bit.
My thought was to leave the listener with that last lyric. In hindsight I might have considered something even more radical.......leaving that "Nothing's been won" lyric out there with no instrumentation behind it at all. Going to take a look at that tonight when I get back in the studio.
I really do appreciate that constructive crit! 8)
-
@Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611)
HI, love the interplay of the instruments and the arrangement c/w your signature picking style. Very nicely put together and performed, it sounds emotionally authentic. Another good one Mr Scaper.
Cheers
jamie
-
@Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611) Love the way the backing track is not just a set of chord progressions, but a supporting set of melodies. They seem to sweep around your vocal in a really interesting way. I actually like the ending, the lyrical message resonates nicely.
Kevin
-
So nice to hear one of your songs again Leonard, and this one is so beautiful and lyrically so appropriate for these troubling times. :(
Your guitar picking is fabulous and and I always love your unique voice 8) Love the interplay of the different instruments.
Where are the angles? I think they're all around, but we just don't see or hear them :-* Fabulous track!
-
@Jamie (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19125) ....thanks so much for listening to this one. I appreciate that about authenticity....that is important to me.
@kevysc (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19775) ...... I'm glad that the message caught you up into it. Thanks for your appreciation of the way this song works.
@crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947) ......I'm so glad you gave this one a spin! I think you are right about the angels. Sometimes we get frustrated, at least I do, when things appear to be out of hand. I always have to remember that perhaps we are the angels and when we remember that...things always get better. :)
-
@Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611) I love the ambience of this one. A beautiful arrangement. Crystal clear, lovely guitar picking and tones and fabulous vocal delivery plus oodles and oodles or originality. Excellent stuff :)
-
What a warm voice. I feel there's a lot off power possible in your voice too.
What I especcially liked in the lyrics is that you don't discribe a exact problem, so everyone can place themselfs in it.
I've read the other comments and I must agree. Good guitarworks overal.
The question that I like to ask fellow musicmakers is what software they all use? Because in this song everything was indeed crystal clear.
Some people find it better to leave percussion away when the song needs listening to the lyrics, and it can have a more emotionial impact without them. However sometimes I feel that something is missing too. Like in your song. I miss a gentle stroke of a brush on a snare.
Also tru about the ending, You have a good idea to end your song with just the last line, no music and maybe some reverb going nuts on your last note?
:)
-
Very nice work, great fingerpicking, love the melody. What I would work on is to let the music and the voice melting more together if you know what I mean.But this is only nitpicking.
Great song congrats.
-
Hi @Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611) Oh boy, I like this! Right from the off with that lovely fingerpicked acoustic which gives real interest and variety. This is a beautifully recorded, balanced and mixed track and the quality of the musicianship is top notch. You have a wonderful, warm and gentle voice. I like the lyrics because they flow naturally - it sounds like you're having a conversation with the listener. Right up my street in all departments. Love it!
M
-
another top track from you
I listened late last night
I'll listen again today
Top quality, my friend!
-
Wow....thanks to all for listening and commenting on this one.
@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269) ....thanks for that about the arrangement. I know that sometimes I get lazy in that department and just let things flow. This one worked out well.
@Veance (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22148) .......I appreciate that about the vocals. Over they years I have come to an understanding of the strong and weak points of my voice. I never figured I was much of a singer but I had songs to sing, so....... 8)
I use protools....have since PT 6. I think I have achieved a measure of clarity in my recording through investments in good microphones and in taking the time to learn the best placement for them in my room. It's a small room but I have some unique sound reinforcement happening and that really helps to get clarity in the capture rather than having to overly depend on EQ in the mix.
I came SO close to going for the brushes on this one.........
@fischermans (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19014) ....excellent comment about blending the vocals. I do work hard on getting that balance between blending them in and pointing them up. I'll probably be working hard on that until the day they carry me out of the studio. ;)
@montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653) ......thank you so much for that appreciation....especially about the lyrics. Really glad you like this one. :)
@rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219) .........thanks for that second listen.....and for the first.
-
Well I think one of the angels is right there in your music Lenny. You obviously didn’t look too hard! 😉
The clarity of the instrumentation is indeed super and the subtlety of the delicate build is very soothing on the old ears. The early sparsity really sets up the singing sustained guitar and then those brooding baritone strings, just perfect.
A lovely reflective song. Just what the doctor ordered! 👍
-
They're all staying up in heaven with their heads in their hands, I'd imagine.
Great vocals and very cool acoustic guitar. I think I said that last time...but you're brilliant at getting that 3-d acoustic sound that blends with your voice so well.
Little lead and electric piano parts are lovely touches as well. Great song!
-
Hola @Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611)
I liked a lot the guitar and the soft piano of the arrangement. Could sound and sad song. Yes, where are the Angels?
Stay safe
Mora
-
@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) .......got me smiling. Thanks for checking this one out and for your kind words.
@PaulAds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20253) .....I appreciate that about the guitar. My new approach to tracking acoustic guitar has me smiling.
@moraamarolaloba (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21233) .....thank you for coming by for this one, Mora. Please give my warm regards to your co-star.
-
Really nice acoustic playing and I love how you subtly adding additional layers while preserving the "naked" feel of the track.
The vox delivery is a perfect match for the backing (or maybe it is the other way around?)
Agree re the comment about the ending, it comes a little abrupt.
Other than that, no nits from me, fab stuff!
-
@Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611) a very pretty delicate song... there’s a really deft touch with the instrumentation, plenty of space and everything sits together and compliments each other well... the ending does catch me off guard, but it’s a beautifully put together piece 👍
-
Ok.....so honest thoughts on this are that I like the way you sing man, you have a lovely tone and I enjoyed the “where are the angels” chorus.
The lyrics are fab and very thoughtful.
The mix is nice and clear....but everything is just a little too dry for me. I just feel it needs a little more reverb or something just to give it all a bit more of an atmosphere/glue. I also felt the guitar was too bright and although the counter melodies on phrases like “turn the page” and “don’t know how” are lovely....the guitars brightness/volume? distracts a little.
I also found the five line verse structure distracting in that they end too abruptly for me....kinda kills the flow. I also felt the instrumental from 1.32 to 1.45 needs tidying up a little, the rhythm is off slightly and that whole little section had the right idea, but just ultimately didn’t quite do it for me.
Ok, phew....I realise that’s some pretty brutal feedback, but i hope you take it in the spirit it’s meant. It’s only my opinion and my own songs are far from perfect. I hope that’s of some use to you.
Cheers
Leo 😄🎶👊🏻🎶
-
@Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) .....I appreciate that about the "naked" quality of the track, and about the meshing of the vocals and the guitar. The guitar came first......
@man made material (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22704) ......thanks for that about the instrumentation. Yeah.....that ending....... :-\ 8)
Ok, phew....I realise that’s some pretty brutal feedback
I LOVE it! 8)
I tend to shoot from the hip with my writing and then work up some sort of cohesion as the process goes on. I truly appreciate the kind words from folks about what I end up with but I always see the flaws...always. For instance.....when I first started to really mix this one I did a little trick that I like. I let it play on my headphones but kept the headphones hanging from the desk in front of me. Anything untoward will always stand out.
That guitar was like a sore thumb. I spent hours carefully massaging it.....clip gain automation, compression tweakage, you name it....I always ended back on that guitar track. In the end I knew it was a flaw in the way I played it but there it was. I was happy with the capture so I didn't want to hide it. :)
And, yeah...I tend to be pretty dry and I do get all disjointed with my arrangements at times.
Thanks for that critical and detailed listen @LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) ....and for your appreciation. That's what this is really all about. We can make each other better. 8)
-
Phew....good man! I'm glad u took it the right way.😁 that's a cool trick with the headphones...I've not done it that way before....I've listened at low volumes and and from another room, but never through the headphones when they are off.😁👍🏻
As for only hearing the flaws....I am exactly the same mate....i can hear mistakes in every song I've ever written and have even gone back years later to fix that one or two things that bug me everytime i listen. It's a great way to be if you can at some point accept that you've done your best and accept it where its at....that's the tough part for me.
Cheers again mate.🎶👊🏻🎶😁
-
Hey @LostBoy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20481) ......I just pulled this tune back up and massaged that guitar a bit. I hit it pretty hard with a high shelf cut. I like the results,
Thanks for that, man. 8)
https://www.soundclick.com/music/songInfo.cfm?songID=14225576