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Songwriter Forum => Feedback on Finished songs => Topic started by: Jambrains on February 23, 2021, 10:02:37 AM
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Every second year or so I have to release my inner Celt and pen a hilarious tall tale. Some may remember The Curse Of Shane MacGowan and Lost in Dublin. This time the story is set in Inverness and include, among other things, kilts, whiskey, a front door and a pair of missing jocks.
And a catchy sing-along-drink-all-night-and-sleep-all-day chorus of course!!!
According to @MonnoDB (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19820) (who, as always, helped me turning my lame lyrics attempts into decent English) it needs "Whoops". When I asked her what that is she said that it is something people do when they get excited over some music.
I told her I'm a Swede, I don't get excited. 8)
We'll see, maybe I'll add that and do other adjustments but for now this will do. All any any input much appreciated.
Edit: bonus points to those who get the MacLeod reference... ;)
I made it out of Dublin
just before they locked it down
Caught the last flight out
and I slept until touchdown
A place where men wear funny skirts
and nothing underneath
The heart of Mary's Scotland
became my new retreat
One and twenty bottles
I bought in Inverness
And when the night is over
there'll be one and twenty less
Drink to absent friends we miss
who won't come through the door
Drink to better days we've had
they won't come back no more
Drink to all we thought we knew
that simply wasn’t true
Drink to all that should have been
yeah, drink to me and you
MacLeod threw me a party
he was the perfect host
Men in kilts may scare some
What’s beneath them might scare more
But I was not so frightened
'cause of all the Finns I know
Who drink vodka in the Sauna
and then roll naked in the snow
They offered me a single malt
I thought, underwear or not
When in Rome do as the Romans do
I'll drink it like a Scot
Then I remembered words of wisdom
when I saw water on the side
'The fish they f*** in water'
so I tossed the glass aside.
Drink to absent friends we miss
who won't come through the door
Drink to better days we've had
they won't come back no more
Drink to all we thought we knew
that simply wasn’t true
Drink to all that should have been
yeah, drink to me and you
They did not take that very well
in fact, they went quite mad
Three or four Scots held me down
and I found myself unclad
Then they tried to throw me out
naked and exposed
but the bastards had forgotten
that the front door was still closed!
No shirt, no shoes, no socks, no jocks
A doorframe round my neck
I walked the streets of Inverness
A bruised and battered wreck
I don't mind being naked
I'm a child of 68
but the Scots still had me bottles
and I had to set that straight
One and twenty bottles
I bought in Inverness
And when the night is over
there'll be one and twenty less
Drink to absent friends we miss
who won't come through the door
Drink to better days we've had
they won't come back no more
Drink to all we thought we knew
that simply wasn’t true
Drink to all that should have been
yeah, drink to me and you
Listen to me people
To this story’s tragic end
When I snuck back in the morning
not one bottle had they left
The bloody Scots had drunk them all
Yeah, that is what I said
And one was still there sleeping
with me Jocks upon his head!
A mass of beer, a sup of wine
O' whiskey, a wee dram
What you drink and when and where
No-one gives a damn.
But one thing that unites us all
underwear or not
The moment we begin to drink
we knock back all we've got!
Drink to absent friends we miss
who won't come through the door
Drink to better days we've had
they won't come back no more
Drink to all we thought we knew
that simply wasn’t true
Drink to all that should have been
yeah, drink to me and you
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Well, it seems like you had quite a night @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) and do the Finns really do that ? Excellent Celtic vibe, nailed it and you managed to get the whoops in there too. A great fun listen excellently put together, played and produced
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Wow.....that sounds like some party.......................look me up in Hawaii!
Great, fun song..............love it!!
-Tom
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@Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875)
What a fantastic joyful tale of overindulgence! That chorus has a hook big enough to catch a whale!!! Really enjoyed the story you tell and the way you tell it... although I’ll now be wary of visiting pubs in Scotland! Really really enjoyed this though- top tune!👌
Any chance you could do another vocal take after smoking 60 fags and a couple of bottles of scotch!?😁
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I love it when you go in this direction. Great tune all around.
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@Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875),
A great song. Immediately catchy. If I was enjoying a pint in a pub on a night out and a band played this song,I'd be a happy man. Lyrica are well crafted and the musicianship is top quality.
A really enjoyable song
Paul
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this is totally delightful and so catchy JB :D I'd dance to this in a pub for sure :) as a matter of fact, I play in a world music dance band that would probably love to play this song (if we're ever allowed to play live again) ;D Great job writing and singing all those lyrics. Such a professionally produced track 8)
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Hi @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875), yes your inner Celt had a fine time on this one. An infectious and crazy drinking song. The fatal flaw is that everyone listening to this in the Inverness pub, plus the singer, would be totally drunk. So how would they and you remember all of those entertaining lyrics to singalong.
But a great story and authentic tune of its genre. Nifty fiddling. Just loads of fun. Cheers, to your twenty one bottles evening! ;D
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Hi @Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) It's The Pogues on speed! This is simply brilliant, witty and perfectly realised from the first to the last. What a blast to listen to - off the scale piece of songwriting, arrangement and musicianship. Your voice has that great, raw edge which lends real authenticity. Truly brilliant.
M
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lol
I can't get through that
it's so fast!!
very tight
sounds like a fine production!
the Scotts! I do like the Irish,to be perfectly racist about it
Well done!!
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@pompeyjazz (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20269):Thanks! And yes, the Finns do....
@IronKnee (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20409), thanks my friend. I if ever happen to find myself in Hawaii I'll give you call :-)
@man made material (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22704): thanks a mill! Vox not raspy enough for you, eh? :-) Sorry, getting the vox down with all lyrics was a royal pita, not doing it again :-)
@Unclenny (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=22611): thanks! :-)
@Wicked Deeds (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19231): thanks you, much appreciated!
@crystalsuzy (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18947): thanks you, I'd love to hear your band cover this!
@MichaelA (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=21274) Lol! Thank you my friend!
@montydog (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=18653): Pouges on speed? That is spot on I'd say, high praise in my book. Thanks!!
@rightly (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=20219): thanks! Yes, getting the vox right took some work.... :-)
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@Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875) (Apologies, twice I tried to review this but my internet went ...)
Another Celtic Classic, fantastic lyrics packed in against a super trad tune, with some great playing ( who does the fiddle: real or synth?). Truly uplifting and puts me in a great mood for the day, thanks!
Kevin
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That's an awful lot of excellent lyrics....and a banging tune to go with them too.
Can't offer any advice or anything along those lines...mix sounds perfect...playing is fabulous...vocals are great...I played the death out of The Pogues first two albums.
As I recall, none of the original band members who played on "Red Roses For Me" were born in Ireland...or even Scotland...
Great track, JB!
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@Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875)
Johan,
Loads of energy, fun lyrics and a proper drinking song, what's there not to like?
Top notch with chorus doing what a chorus should and then added fiddle and massed vocals
This style really suits you.
Joyful
:-)
neil
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@Jambrains (http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?action=profile;u=19875)
This is just brilliant. I read the lyrics and thought how is he going to make that flow. Some lines short other long but it was perfect. If I heard this on mainstream radio I would be raving about it. I was enjoying the song so much I forgot to analyse it. That's a good thing!!
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This made my day. If you're going to do something like this then this is how you do it! I can offer no crits as I really enjoyed it. :)
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Not sure how it will go down in Scotland, but it sounds pretty perfect for its purpose. And noone listens to the verses anyway. Hey!
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@jambrains
Hi, I can validate your night out in Inverness, being a Scot. Actually it could have been Glasgow, Edinburgh, Perth, Dundee.......you get the idea :D. I can also confirm that the Finns do indeed do that, for I have partaken of such evenings many times! :o. Great song in the Pogues style, brilliantly executed!
Cheers
Jamie